16. Take-It-All-Down Listening: When you try to get too many of the speaker's words on paper, part of your mind must be concerned with your note-taking. You are unable to concentrate fully on what he is saying. You risk losing valuable points. Where note-taking is necessary—and you may be surprised to find out how often it isn't if you concentrate fully on listening—try to jot down only a memory-jogging word or two. Or put the main ideas on paper after the speaker has finished. The more complete attention you give the speaker, the easier it will be to recall his ideas later.

17. Personality Listening: You become so concerned with the way the speaker looks or how he talks that what he says fails to penetrate. Perhaps unconsciously you decide that a person who dresses or speaks like that can't have much to say. That could be a very false conclusion. Who knows what you may be missing? It's the old story: you can't judge a gift by the package. Better to judge him after you have heard him out.

18. Half-An-Ear Listening: Often other sounds compete for your attention—and win. Your father gives you a list of errands. But his voice must compete with, say, your favorite song on the radio. Later, you find that half an ear wasn't enough. You didn't listen to your father's words closely enough to hear and remember them. You have to telephone home for a repeat performance. And you can't really blame your father for being irritated. Better to turn off the radio, shut the door on competing noises, if possible. If not, guard against your tendency to listen to distracting sounds.

19. So there are the forces—some within ourselves, some outside—that work against us in our efforts to listen. But once we learn what they are and how to fight them, we are well on our way to getting rid of wasteful listening habits.