1.You know, I have to say I thought the toilet humor would get less funny with repetition. Apparently there is no law of diminishing comedic return when it comes to space poop.
我不得不說(shuō)，我以為重復(fù)說(shuō)馬桶笑話會(huì)變得無(wú)聊。顯然，用太空便便做笑點(diǎn)完全無(wú)懈可擊呢。

2.For what it's worth, my mother says that when we deceive for personal gain, we make Jesus cry.
不管怎樣，俺娘常說(shuō)，為一己私欲而欺騙他人會(huì)遭報(bào)應(yīng)的。

3.Perhaps you mean a different thing than I do when you say "science."
你所謂的”科學(xué)研究“跟我的相比，相差甚遠(yuǎn)吧。

4.Must be an emergency. Everyone at the university knows I eat my breakfast at 8 and move my bowels at 8:20.
肯定是緊急事件。大學(xué)里的人都知道我8點(diǎn)吃早餐，8點(diǎn)20腸胃開(kāi)始消化。

5.That's fourteen hours away. For the next 840 minutes, I'm effectively one of Heisenberg's particles. I know where I am, I know how fast I'm going, but I can't know both.
還要14個(gè)小時(shí)呢。接下來(lái)840分鐘我會(huì)像海森堡的粒子，只知道自己的地點(diǎn)或移動(dòng)速度，但卻不能同時(shí)知道兩者。

6.I want a cookie, Mee-Maw.
奶奶，我要吃餅干。

7.No, Mother, I cannot feel your church group praying for my safety. The fact that I’m home safe does not prove that it worked. That logic is post hoc ergo propter hoc. No, I’m not sassing you in Eskimo talk.
不，媽媽，我感覺(jué)不到你的教會(huì)小組為我祈禱平安。就算我平安回家也不證明祈禱有效。這個(gè)邏輯完全是個(gè)謬誤。不，我沒(méi)有用愛(ài)斯基摩口吻跟你頂嘴。

8.Hello, Penny. I realize you’re currently at the mercy of your primitive biological urges, but as you have an entire lifetime of poor decisions ahead of you, may I interrupt this one?
你好，佩妮。 我明白你現(xiàn)在正完全被最原始的野性沖動(dòng)所控制，可是反正你這輩子還會(huì)有無(wú)數(shù)錯(cuò)誤的決定，我能不能打斷這一個(gè)？

9.You think you’re so clever. Well, let me just tell you, while I do not currently have a scathing retort, you check your email periodically for a doozy.
你以為你很聰明。但是，讓我來(lái)告訴你，雖然我現(xiàn)在想不出尖刻的話來(lái)反駁你，但我想到之后會(huì)發(fā)郵件給你的。

10.They were threatened by my intelligence and too stupid to know that’s why they hated me.
他們是因我的智慧而感受到威脅又蠢得不知道這點(diǎn)，因此才恨我的。