1.Apparently I'm in some kind of relationship and you seem to be an expert at ending them.... I see man after man leaving this apartment, never to return.
顯然我正處于某種關(guān)系中，而你似乎是終結(jié)這類關(guān)系的老手...我看見男人們一個接一個從這兒離開倒是沒見過再回來的。

2.I trusted you with my email address and you betrayed that trust by sending me Internet banalities -- Strike One. Touching my food -- Strike Two.
我信任你才給你郵箱地址，你卻給我發(fā)些網(wǎng)絡(luò)俗物:一振。碰我的吃的:二振。

3.Greetings, Hamburger Toucher. You are probably wondering why you cannot IM with your little friends about how much you "heart" various things.
你好，漢堡褻瀆者?？赡苣愫芗{悶咋不能和你的密友們網(wǎng)聊了呢，無法傾訴你多么"心水"啥啥啥了。

4.I really don't think this is the kind of thing Jesus concerns himself with.
我不認(rèn)為耶穌會管這等閑事。

5.Rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock. It's very simple. Look -- scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
我建議采用石頭-剪刀-布-蜥蜴-史波克。很簡單。剪子剪布，布包石頭，石頭壓蜥蜴，蜥蜴毒死史波克，史波克轟碎剪子，剪子腰斬蜥蜴，蜥蜴吃布，布否定史波克，史波克蒸發(fā)石頭，再加上一如既往的規(guī)則，石頭砸剪子。

6.I'm sorry, but I'm not going to watch the Clone Wars TV series until I've seen the Clone Wars movie. I prefer to let George Lucas disappoint me in the order he intended.
對不起，我現(xiàn)在不看克隆人戰(zhàn)爭的電視劇，我得先看電影版。喬治盧卡斯肯定會讓我失望就順著他的順序來吧。

7.I believe the appropriate metaphor here involves a river of excrement and a Native American water vessel without any means of propulsion.
此刻最恰當(dāng)?shù)谋扔鲬?yīng)該包括一條臭水溝，還有一艘沒有推動器的土著船。

8.Just for the record, my efforts to establish you as the alpha male were not aided by you bursting into tears.
聲明一下，我努力為你營造猛男形象，卻被你的嚎啕大哭給毀了。

9.Radiation burns -- a little mishap while I was building my own CAT scanner.... In fact, I was briefly able to see the inside of my sister's guinea pig, Snowball, before he caught fire. It led to an interesting expression in our house: "not a snowball's chance in a CAT scanner."
放射線燒傷——自制分層造影(CAT)掃描機時發(fā)生了點小事故...我基本看到我姐的豚鼠-雪球球的內(nèi)部咯，然后它就著火了。于是就有了我家那句玩笑話：“雪球別想在掃描儀里活命。”(CAT=貓 雪球=豚鼠)

10.When I come back, just for fun, the subject will be alternative history. Specifically, how would the Civil War have gone differently if Lincoln had been a robot sent from the future.
等我回來，為了有趣些，話題將是:歷史的分叉點。尤其是如果林肯是未來送來的機器人，內(nèi)戰(zhàn)會有如何不同的發(fā)展呢?