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"I worked as a?bartender/waitress at a bar inside an upscale health-food?grocery?store (it's a real thing, I promise). Most of our?clientele?was well-off?retirees?and 30-something recently divorced men hoping to get a date with someone coming in after a yoga class. Generally a nice group of customers, but definitely rich, uptight people. Forgetting to bring salt to some might be a huge offense, but automatically bringing it causes others to give you a lecture about sodium intake. It was a difficult balancing act.
“我曾在一家高檔健康食品雜貨店里面擔任酒吧的酒保兼服務生（真的是健康食品，我保證）。我們的大多數客戶是富裕的退休人員和30歲剛離婚并希望與一個剛上完瑜伽課的女人約會的男人?；旧隙际切┖苡焉频念櫩?，不過都真的有錢，而且要求比較高。忘記給他們送上鹽可能會引起他們的強烈反感，但拿了鹽的話他們又會給你上一門有關鈉攝入量的課。這個動作的輕重真的很難拿捏。”

"It was St. Patrick's Day. There was also a March Madness game with the local university team playing and we were short-staffed. Needless to say, it was an?insane?evening with me rushing around serving?corned?beef and cabbage, pouring Guinness, and making sure no one was becoming?belligerent.
“那天是圣帕特里克節(jié)，當時正在進行“瘋狂三月”的比賽，當地大學的校隊有參加，我們人手不夠。不用說，這是一個瘋狂的夜晚，我不斷奔波著為客戶提供腌牛肉和卷心菜，以及吉尼斯黑啤酒，并確保沒有人要斗毆?！?/div>

"For some reason, the bar supervisor always liked to have food specials on display for people to see. While I get the concept, it generally just caused us to get mean looks when we told people they probably shouldn't eat it, as it wasn't a sample and had been sitting out for hours. Since it was St. Patrick's Day, we had a giant display of the corned beef and cabbage dinner special, complete with?gravy, potatoes, and Irish beer bread.
“由于某些原因，酒吧主管總是喜歡把特薦美食陳列出來給人看。雖然我懂這是為什么，但這對于我們（服務人員）來說真的很麻煩，總是讓我們糟人冷眼，因為我們必須告訴顧客這些不是試吃品，而且它們已經被放在這里幾小時了。由于當時是圣帕特里克節(jié)，我們擺出了大量的腌牛肉配卷心菜特餐，并且還配有肉汁、土豆和愛爾蘭啤酒面包。

"As the night was beginning to slow down, I had an older couple sit at the only open seats --?adjacent?to our food displays. I was clearing tables and leaned over to let them know I'd be right with them, and a plate slid off the mountain of dishes I was carrying,?plopping?right into the food display. The 12-hour-old gravy and potatoes somehow still had some fluidity to them, and flew up, then dropped… right into the man's lap.
“隨著當晚的高峰期開始結束，我讓一對老夫婦坐在僅剩的空位上----與我們擺出的食物相鄰。當時我正在清理桌子，但身體也向們傾斜好讓他們知道我馬上會去他們那里，就在這時，手里堆在最上面的一個盤子滑落了，正好砸向了陳列出的食物。那保存了十二小時的肉汁和馬鈴薯不知怎么居然還沒凝固，濺了起來，而后又掉落，不偏不倚落到了男人的膝蓋上。

"I was?horrified?and apologizing?profusely?while trying to set down the mountain of dishes. The man looked up at me and said, 'I just have one thing to tell you.' He slowly leaned in -- at which point I was thinking he was about to spit in my face -- and he said, 'I don't have to?fart?anymore, you scared it out of me.'
“我頓時感到了驚駭，一邊放下手里堆積如山的盤子一邊不停地道歉。那個男人抬頭看了我說道，‘我只想告訴你一件事?！龑⑸眢w傾斜------當我以為他要向我臉上吐唾沫時------然后他說，‘我終于不用再放屁了，你已經把它嚇出來了?！?/div>

"It was the laugh I needed that night, and he wouldn't even let me give him a free beer as an apology." -- Belinda Farragut
“于是我開懷大笑了起來，而這正是我當晚需要的，他甚至不要我給他免費的啤酒作為道歉?！?-----Belinda Farragut

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