高出何處有
For the Mountaintop

張曉風(fēng)
Zhang Xiaofeng

贈(zèng)給畢業(yè)同學(xué)
-- To Students of the Graduating Class

| 譯文摘自張培基《英譯中國(guó)散文選二》

很久很久以前，在一個(gè)很遠(yuǎn)很遠(yuǎn)的地方，一位老酋長(zhǎng)正病危。
Long, long ago, in a very, very faraway place, a tribal chief found himself terminally ill.

要點(diǎn)：
1,《高出何處有》即“哪里是山頂”，可直譯為Where to Find the Mountain,此處譯為For the Mountaintop，意即“攀登高峰”更加突出了文章的主旨
2,faraway這是個(gè)需要注意的詞，經(jīng)常被誤用，一般來(lái)說(shuō)， faraway是形容詞,做定語(yǔ)或表語(yǔ).far away是短語(yǔ),做狀語(yǔ).
如： Many faraway stellar systems can be observed through a space telescope.
借助太空望遠(yuǎn)鏡可以觀察到許多離我們很遠(yuǎn)的恒星系。
Far away, and down near the horizon, the sky began to turn grey.
在遙遠(yuǎn)的地平線附近，天空開始漸漸變成灰色。
3，“正病?！?，“病?！笨勺g為be critically ill be dying,be critically ill; be terminally ill; be at one's last gasp
4，“酋長(zhǎng)”可譯為tribunal chief

綜述：很少出對(duì)話體的散文分析，因?yàn)樗诳荚囍胁⒉怀Ｒ姡沁@次選定張曉風(fēng)的這篇文，一是文筆優(yōu)美，有許多語(yǔ)言現(xiàn)象值得關(guān)注，二是這篇短文十分耐人尋味，值得譯，更值得讀。開頭短短的一句，比較容易~

他找來(lái)村中最優(yōu)秀的三個(gè)年輕人，對(duì)他們說(shuō)：“這是我要離開你的時(shí)候了，我要你們?yōu)槲易鲎詈笠患?。你們?nèi)齻€(gè)都有是身強(qiáng)體壯而又智慧過(guò)人的好孩子，現(xiàn)在，請(qǐng)你們盡其可能的去攀登那座我們一向奉為神圣的大山。你們要盡其可能爬到最高的、最凌越一切的地方，然后，折回頭來(lái)告訴我你們的見聞?！?/strong>
He summoned three most promising young villager to his bedside and said, “As I’m leaving you soon, I hope you can do one thing more for me. Young men, you three are all unusually strong and resourceful, so I’d like you to strive to climb that high mountain which we’ve always been worshipping as a sacred place. Now do your best to reach the topmost and most forbidding part of it and then turn back to tell me about your findings.”

要點(diǎn)：
1，“他找來(lái)村中最優(yōu)秀的三個(gè)年輕人，對(duì)他們說(shuō)”中的“找來(lái)”即“召喚，召集”譯為sunmmon或call together
2,” 村中最優(yōu)秀的三個(gè)年輕人”譯得很有意思，不是three most promising young of the village 而是譯為villager，增加了行文的簡(jiǎn)潔性
3，to his bedside是增益成分，增強(qiáng)文章的畫面感
4，“為我做最后一件事”通常我們會(huì)譯為 to do the last thing for me,但the last thing 也有“最不愿意干的事”的意思，因此此處譯為do one thing more for me
5，“最凌越的”即“最難通過(guò)的，最險(xiǎn)惡的”，故譯為most forbidding part
6，“見聞”可理解為“發(fā)現(xiàn)”譯為findings

三天后，第一個(gè)年輕人回來(lái)了，他笑生雙靨，衣履猶鮮：“酋長(zhǎng)，我到達(dá)山頂了，我看到繁花夾道，流泉淙淙，鳥鳴嚶嚶，那地方真不壞啊！”老酋長(zhǎng)笑笑說(shuō)：“孩子，那條路我當(dāng)年也走過(guò)，你說(shuō)的鳥語(yǔ)花香的地方不是山頂，而是山麓。你回去吧！”
Three days later, the first young man returned smartly dressed and said with smiling face,“Lord, I’ve been to the mountaintop where I saw flowers of all sorts lining both sides of a path, babbling spring water and singing birds. That’s a real nice place.”The old tribal chief replied smilingly,“Son, I’ve been there before. The place with singing birds and fragrant flowers, as you mentioned, is not the mountaintop. It’s the foot of the mountain. Now you can leave.”

要點(diǎn)：
1，“笑生雙靨，衣履猶鮮”都是表年輕人的狀態(tài)，分別譯為副詞或with結(jié)構(gòu)
2，“我看到繁花夾道，流泉淙淙，鳥鳴嚶嚶”即“我看到各種各樣的花長(zhǎng)在道路兩旁，我看到淙淙的流水和鳴唱的鳥兒”，將主謂結(jié)構(gòu)轉(zhuǎn)為偏正
3，“孩子”可譯為young man,此處譯為son，因英語(yǔ)中年長(zhǎng)者用它稱呼男孩或年輕男子
4，“山麓”即“山腳”譯為the foot of the mountain

一周以后，第二年年輕人也回來(lái)了，他神情疲倦，滿臉風(fēng)霜：“酋長(zhǎng)，我到達(dá)山頂了。我看到高大肅穆的松樹林，我看到禿鷹盤旋，那是一個(gè)好地方。”“可惜?。『⒆?，地不是山頂，那是山腰。不過(guò)，也難為你了，你回去吧！”
A week later, the second young man also returned. He looked terribly weary and his face was weather-beaten.“Lord, I’ve been to the mountaintop where I saw groves of tall, solemn pine trees and vultures circling in the air. That’s a real nice place.”“What a pity!” said the tribal chief. “Son, you’ve been halfway up the mountain rather than to its summit. But you had a real tough time. Now you can leave.”

要點(diǎn)：
1，“滿面風(fēng)霜”按“飽經(jīng)風(fēng)霜”常用于形容經(jīng)歷過(guò)種種的艱難困苦生活的磨練，譯為weather-beaten（經(jīng)歷過(guò)各種天氣）
2，“不過(guò)，也難為你了”即“你所經(jīng)歷的已經(jīng)很難了”譯為But you had a real tough time

一個(gè)月過(guò)去了，大家都開始為第三位年輕人的安危擔(dān)心，他卻一步一蹭，衣不蔽體地回來(lái)了。他發(fā)枯唇燥，只剩下清炯的眼神：
A month later, everybody began to worry about the safety of the third young man. However, he finally showed up, hobbling along in rags. His hair was off-colored and his lips parched, but his eyes were clear and bright.

要點(diǎn)：
1，“一步一蹭”即“一瘸一拐”譯為hobbling，其同義詞有hobble
shuffle shamble stagger wobble，都是表“跛行”的意思；rags一般指“破布，抹布，破衣爛衫”此處in rages即“衣不蔽體”
2，“發(fā)枯”即“頭發(fā)失去光澤”譯為off-colored
3，“清炯的眼神”即“清亮的眼神”his eyes were clear and bright.

“酋長(zhǎng)，我終于到達(dá)山頂。但是，我該怎么說(shuō)呢？那里只有高風(fēng)悲旋，藍(lán)天四垂?！?/strong>
“Lord, I succeeded in reaching the summit. Well, what shall I say to you about it? There was nothing there but the wailing highland wind and the blue sky hanging over the land.”

要點(diǎn)：
1，“高風(fēng)悲旋”= the wailing highland wind，wail意為“哀嚎，痛哭”，這種小詞的使用可以大大縮短行文長(zhǎng)度，并使文章更加生動(dòng)，前面的bobble等詞，也體現(xiàn)了這點(diǎn)
2，“藍(lán)天四垂”可按“藍(lán)天籠罩大地”，譯為the blue sky hanging over the land.

綜述：
這幾段的亮點(diǎn)都在于四字詞的使用和翻譯上，注意小詞的積累和使用~

“你難道在那里一無(wú)所見嗎？難道連蝴蝶也沒有一只嗎？”
“So you saw nothing at all? Not even a butterfly?”

“是的，酋長(zhǎng)，高處一無(wú)所有。你所能看到的，只有你自己，只有‘個(gè)人’被放在天地間的渺小感，只有想起千古英雄的悲激心情?！?/strong>
“No, lord, nothing. All you can see is yourself. You feel how insignificant you are in this infinite universe and how sorrowful and agitated you are at the thought of heroes through the ages.”

要點(diǎn)：
1，“只有‘個(gè)人’被放在天地間的渺小感”其中“渺小感”這個(gè)詞不容易譯出，因此譯者轉(zhuǎn)換說(shuō)法，將其譯為“你會(huì)感到自己在無(wú)限的宇宙里有多么渺小”即You feel how insignificant you are in this infinite universe下句的“想起千古英雄的悲激心情”也是采取了同樣的策略
2，“千古英雄”可按“歷代英雄們”理解，譯為heroes through the ages.，其中through all / the ages是出鏡率比較高的一個(gè)詞了，可做狀語(yǔ)，如Through the ages, Earth mother has nurtured the innumerable generation of descendants with the sweet milk.古往今來(lái)，地球媽媽用甘甜的乳汁哺育了無(wú)數(shù)代子孫。

綜述：
轉(zhuǎn)換詞性或句子成分，是翻譯常用方法~必備技能~

“孩子，你到的是真的山頂。按照我們的傳統(tǒng)，天意要立你做新酋長(zhǎng)，祝福你?！?/strong>
“Son, you’ve reached the real mountaintop. According to our tradition, you’ll undoubtedly be made our new tribal chief. My best wishes to you.”

真英雄何所遇？他遇到的是全身的傷痕，是孤單的長(zhǎng)途，以及越來(lái)越真切的渺小感。
What makes a real hero? A real hero has cuts and bruises all over his body, he is all alone on a long journey and he feels with increasing sincerity how small he is.

要點(diǎn)：
1，“真英雄何所遇？”即“怎樣才能造就一個(gè)真英雄呢？”譯為What makes a real hero?
2，“他遇到的是全身的傷痕，是孤單的長(zhǎng)途，以及越來(lái)越真切的渺小感?！敝形挠袝r(shí)習(xí)慣用一個(gè)動(dòng)詞帶起一串賓語(yǔ)，在我們來(lái)看很好理解，但是對(duì)于外國(guó)人來(lái)說(shuō)就比較抽象了，很難體會(huì)到其中的意思，因此翻譯時(shí)要把“遇到”具體化，即“他遍體鱗傷，孤獨(dú)地行走在長(zhǎng)長(zhǎng)的旅途上，并越來(lái)越真切地感到自己有多么渺小”，譯為A real hero has cuts and bruises all over his body, he is all alone on a long journey and he feels with increasing sincerity how small he is.

綜述：最后一句的翻譯值得注意，它是一個(gè)譯者的翻譯意識(shí)的體現(xiàn)~

聲明:本雙語(yǔ)文章的中文評(píng)析系滬江英語(yǔ)原創(chuàng)內(nèi)容,轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處。中文評(píng)析僅代表作者個(gè)人觀點(diǎn)，如有不妥之處，歡迎指正。