黎明的眼睛
The Window Duanmu Hongliang

端木蕻良
Duanmu Hongliang

| 譯文摘自張培基《英譯中國散文選二》

三月清晨，把窗子推開，第一片陽光便飛到人們的全身，對(duì)著陽光帶進(jìn)來的新鮮空氣，任誰都要深吸一口，說春天來了！就這樣，春天從窗口走近了我們。但是，可不要忘記，不是從有房子那天起，我們就有窗子的呢！
When you throw open your window on an early morning in March, you will at once be totally exposed to the sun’s first rays and, inhaling deeply of the fresh air brought in by them, exclaim, “Spring is here!”Yes, it is through the window that spring manages to approach us.But don’t forget that not all houses have been windowed ever since man first began to build them.

要點(diǎn)：
1，“把窗子推開”可譯為throw open your window，或open your window，但前者更加傳神~
2，“第一片陽光便飛到人們的全身”并未直譯，而是按“使你立即接觸到黎明的光芒”譯為you will at once be totally exposed to the sun’s first rays
3，“春天來了”即“春天已經(jīng)在這里了”切記不要譯為Spring is coming(春天將要到來)
4，“不是從有房子那天起，我們就有窗子的呢“譯為not all houses have been windowed ever since man first began to build been windowed =have had a window 之前在《西歐的夏天》中我們也曾見過類似用法：譯者將” 西歐的旅館和汽車，例皆不備冷氣“譯為Hotels and cars in Western Europe are usually not air-conditioned

綜述：
本篇文章語言優(yōu)美洗練，看似基礎(chǔ)但要譯得傳神并不容易，自己先翻一遍，之后和張爺爺?shù)倪M(jìn)行對(duì)比，就能看出這篇文章的精彩~

我們的兄弟，愛斯基摩人用冰塊建筑的房子，像個(gè)白玉的鐘罩一般，是沒有什么窗子的，過去的鄂倫春兄弟們住的”神仙柱”，因?yàn)闆]有屋頂，在屋里，到晚上可以看到頭上的月亮和星光，也就無須開窗子了。
Our Eskimo brothers’ houses, built of large blocks of frozen snow and shaped like white-jade clock covers, have no windows at all. Our Oroqen brothers used to live in roofless houses with no need for windows because they could in the evening enjoy the moon and stars overhead indoors.

要點(diǎn)：
1，“冰塊“應(yīng)譯為large blocks of frozen snow，而非block of ice,因?yàn)閻鬯够θ擞玫氖怯惭K建造房屋，而不是單純的冰塊，所以做翻譯知識(shí)面要廣，做一個(gè)”知道分子“~
2，“過去的鄂倫春兄弟們住的‘神仙柱’”轉(zhuǎn)換主語，即“鄂倫春兄弟們過去住在‘神仙柱’里”譯為Our Oroqen brothers used to live in roofless houses，一是體現(xiàn)句式的靈活性，二是串聯(lián)句子的需要，因?yàn)楹竺妗疤ь^看星光和月亮”的主語是” 鄂倫春兄弟們”而非“神仙柱”
3，“過去的鄂倫春兄弟們住的”神仙柱”，因?yàn)闆]有屋頂，在屋里，到晚上可以看到頭上的月亮和星光，也就無須開窗子了”這句話零碎較多，整合意思為“鄂倫春兄弟們過去住在沒有屋頂?shù)摹裣芍?，根本沒有必要開窗，因?yàn)樗麄兲ь^就能看到星星和月亮”

綜述：本段句式較散，注意整合句意

最早的人類山頂洞人走下山來，不知住過多少代，才懂得造個(gè)窩兒的時(shí)候，他們也只會(huì)模仿巖洞，把地挖個(gè)半截坑，上面再搭上個(gè)頂篷。至于窗子，就談不上了。房墻上開窗子是后來的事。隨著窗子的開鑿和擴(kuò)大，人類文明的曙光也隨著擴(kuò)大。
Man’s ancestors had been cave-dwellers before they left their mountains to settle on the plain. It was not until countless generations later that they began to build dwellings patterned after a cave--- with an awning over a shallow pit in the ground. There was no window to speak of.Making a window in the wall was a much later invention. As the popularity of windows grew, so did the civilization of man develop.

要點(diǎn)：
1，“最早的人類山頂洞人走下山來，”譯者按“人類的祖先在從山上移居到平原之前是住在洞穴里的”譯為Man’s ancestors had been cave-dwellers before they left their mountains to settle on the plain，不得不說張爺爺?shù)倪@個(gè)意思選的很巧，把這樣平鋪直敘的一句話譯成有邏輯的一個(gè)句子，是值得我們學(xué)習(xí)的
2，“不知住過多少代，才懂得造個(gè)窩兒的時(shí)候，他們也只會(huì)模仿巖洞，把地挖個(gè)半截坑，上面再搭上個(gè)頂篷”也是需要整合意思而后譯的，只有中文順暢，譯為英語的時(shí)候才會(huì)順暢
3，no…to speak of=to say nothing of ;not to mention 意為“更不必說，何況“
4，“房墻上開窗子是后來的事“譯為Making a window in the wall was a much later invention.也可直譯為Opening a window in the wall was something that took place much later, 但明顯不如前者簡(jiǎn)練
5，“隨著窗子的開鑿和擴(kuò)大，人類文明的曙光也隨著擴(kuò)大?！弊g者采用意譯法，譯為As the popularity of windows grew, so did the civilization of man develop.句式簡(jiǎn)潔，倒裝句是我們翻譯“也”的常用句式

綜述：注意本段的合譯和倒裝~

窗子，自從它出現(xiàn)的那天起，它就成為陽光的眼睛，空氣的港口，成了自然和社會(huì)的紐帶。隨著時(shí)間流逝，層樓的加多，窗子也越來越多了。看到高層的建筑，就會(huì)驚嘆窗子是房屋最鮮明的象征。沒有窗子的房子，幾乎也就沒法把它喚作屋子了。有誰未曾享受過開窗的喜悅呢？打開窗子，突然見到青山闖了進(jìn)來，打開窗子，看到柳色的清新，小燕的飛來……
The window, ever since its birth, has been an entrance to sunlight, a port for taking in fresh air, and a tie between nature and human society.With the passage of time and increase of tall buildings, more and more windows have appeared. Now, at the sight of a multi-storey building, one cannot help exclaiming at how the window is so symbolic of the house. Without a window, a house could hardly be called as such.Who hasn’t experienced great delight in opening a window? The moment you open it, you will be immediately struck by imposing blue mountains, fresh green willows, little swallows flying towards you…

要點(diǎn)：
1，“看到高層的建筑，就會(huì)驚嘆窗子是房屋最鮮明的象征?！弊g為Now, at the sight of a multi-storey building, one cannot help exclaiming at how the window is so symbolic of the 句加強(qiáng)了驚嘆的語氣
2，as such
3,” 突然見到青山闖了進(jìn)來”譯為you will be immediately struck by imposing blue mountains,“突然看到”譯為be struck by 突出動(dòng)作感，驚喜之情油然而生~

綜述：這三段較簡(jiǎn)單，譯者的選詞和句式變換是點(diǎn)睛之筆

窗子開了，用不著打招呼，新的空氣就會(huì)猛撲進(jìn)來。當(dāng)然，隨之而來的，也有風(fēng)沙飛入屋中，還有，眼睛看不到的微塵，還有很難發(fā)覺的細(xì)菌，有的是出面拜訪，有的是偷偷地混了進(jìn)來……從古到今多少詩人先贊美過窗子，多少歌手歌唱過窗子，多少情人的眼睛凝望過窗子……
Open the window, and fresh air will break in upon your room.Of course, grains of sand will simultaneously be brought in too. So will invisible dust particles and bacteria, either openly or surreptitiously…From ancient times to the present, innumerable poets have sung their praises of the window, innumerable singers have extolled it, innumerable lovers have fixed their dreamy eyes on it…

要點(diǎn)：
1，“窗子開了，用不著打招呼，新的空氣就會(huì)猛撲進(jìn)來?！弊g為Open the window, and fresh air will break in upon your room.其中“猛撲進(jìn)來”即“闖入”譯為break in (on/upon)
2，“風(fēng)沙”在此指“砂礫”故譯grains of sand，“微塵”即“微塵顆?！保g為dust particles
3，“ 多少詩人”即“無數(shù)詩人”，譯為innumerable poets
4，“多少情人的眼睛凝望過窗子”譯為innumerable lovers have fixed their dreamy eyes on it…dreamy 是增益成分，意為“出神的”

窗子的變化，是值得人們考察一番的。小小的窗子，幾乎可以說，是文明的眼睛。在今后的日子里，窗子的變化會(huì)更加多種多樣了。窗子的玻璃會(huì)隨著時(shí)鐘，自動(dòng)調(diào)和射進(jìn)室內(nèi)的光線，窗子會(huì)隨著明暗變換顏色，窗框上裝有循環(huán)水，它可以為居室的主人帶走很多他發(fā)覺不到的天敵，又可以送進(jìn)來他需要而又不易到的芳香和養(yǎng)分……
The evolution of the window is worthy of our study. Small as it is, the window has opened man’s eyes to civilization. In the days to come, its changes will become even more manifold.The window pane will, alone with the tick-tick of the clock, automatically regulate light stream into the room and change its own color according to interior illumination. The window frame will be filled with circulatory water to remove things harmful to the resident without his knowledge and carry him fragrance and nutrients which he much needs but are otherwise hard for him to get.

要點(diǎn)：
1，“變化“即”演化“，譯為evolution
2,” 窗子的玻璃會(huì)隨著時(shí)鐘，自動(dòng)調(diào)和射進(jìn)室內(nèi)的光線…”譯為The window pane will, alone with the tick-tick of the clock, automatically regulate light stream into the room and change its own color according to interior illumination.“隨著時(shí)鐘“即“隨著時(shí)鐘的變化”，譯者增譯擬聲詞tick-tick來表示時(shí)鐘的變動(dòng)
3，otherwise是增益成分，用于加強(qiáng)語氣

有的窗子不需開合，便能做到通風(fēng)透光，它還可以把你不愿聽到的聲音關(guān)到外邊，但是悅耳的琴聲，它是不會(huì)阻攔的……打開窗子吧！現(xiàn)在開窗子就不光是為了迎進(jìn)陽光、空氣，或者遠(yuǎn)眺青山的青、新柳的綠、燕子飛來的掠影，……而是迎接一個(gè)新的世紀(jì)！
Some windows will ensure good ventilation and transparency without manual manipulation. They will keep out disturbing noises and let in sweet music.Let’s open the window! Open it not just to let in sunlight and air or to get a distant view of blue mountains, fresh green willows and swallows in flight…, but, more importantly, to usher in a new century!

要點(diǎn)：
1，”不需開合“即“不需手動(dòng)操作”譯為without manual manipulation.意思擴(kuò)大化可以使句子更加簡(jiǎn)潔
2，“而是迎接一個(gè)新的世紀(jì)”譯為but, more importantly, to usher in a new century!其中，more importantly是譯文中的增譯成分，用以加強(qiáng)語氣~

綜述：本文文筆優(yōu)美，句式大多比較基本，但抒情成分較多，注意譯者是怎樣通過增詞或變換句式來表達(dá)作者情感的

聲明:本雙語文章的中文評(píng)析系滬江英語原創(chuàng)內(nèi)容,轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處。中文評(píng)析僅代表作者個(gè)人觀點(diǎn)，如有不妥之處，歡迎指正。