This is a gripping and sometimes terrifying book that will make you look anew at your spouse, your parents, your children, your friends, your enemies, your fellow workers and - perhaps most pertinently - your reflection in the mirror.
這是本扣人心弦又駭人的書，會讓你重審你的伴侶、父母、你的小孩、敵友還有你的同事，確切地說，重新審視你鏡中的倒影。

Narcissus was the youth in Greek mythology who was so handsome everyone fell in love with him instantly. But all this adoration hardened his heart, and he became as well-known for his indifference to others as for his beauty. Eventually, the gods placed a curse on him, so that he, too, would know the pain of unrequited love.Soon after, he happened to be passing a pond, caught sight of his own reflection and fell madly in love with it. So drawn was he to the reflection that he dived into the water to be with it and drowned.
希臘神話里帥氣的少年納西索斯，人人都對他一見鐘情。但人們的欽慕讓他心生狠念，如同他秀麗的外表一樣， 納西索斯冷漠為人的態(tài)度也人盡皆知。最終，眾神對他施以詛咒，讓他飽嘗單戀之苦。不久，納西索斯路過一個池塘，看見自己的倒影，便深深地愛上了。他愛得深沉無法自拔，便投入水中，最終溺亡。

In psychological terms, then, narcissism is one of the 'dark triad' of personality traits, along with Machiavellianism and psychopathy.Dr Craig Malkin, a clinical psychologist and instructor at Harvard Medical School, defines it simply as 'the drive to feel special'. In moderation, one might ask, what is wrong with that?
在心理學(xué)術(shù)語中，自戀和馬基雅維利主義以及精神變態(tài)合稱為“暗黑三合一“。哈佛醫(yī)學(xué)院的臨床心理學(xué)家及導(dǎo)師克雷格·馬爾金博士把自戀定義為“感覺特別的內(nèi)在驅(qū)動“。也許有人要問，如果適度自戀，又有什么問題呢？

If you are a nine or a ten on the Malkin scale, you're basically mentally ill. You have convinced yourself you're special, despite much evidence to the contrary. Whereas if you're a five, you have a good dose of what Dr Malkin calls 'healthy narcissism'. And if you are a zero or a one, you have a narcissism deficit. He then discusses where it all comes from - nurture rather than nature, for narcissist parents can wreak havoc on future generations. Most usefully of all, he gives five telltale signs to help you spot the narcissist in your midst.
如果你的馬爾金等級是九至十，你基本屬于精神有疾。你確信自己很特別，盡管事實上大相徑庭。然而，若你的等級是五，你就是馬爾金博士所稱的”健康的自戀“。如果等級零或者一，那你根本就不自戀。馬爾金接著討論自戀從何而來，后天所致還是與生俱來，因為自戀的家長對后代頗具殺傷力。最為實用的在于馬爾金會告訴你五大隱形跡象，教你鑒別身邊的自戀者。

Sign one is Displaying Emotion Phobia. Human interaction poses a scary problem for narcissists who are, deep down, extraordinarily insecure people. They shore up their self-confidence by imagining they are perfectly self-sufficient and impervious to other people's feelings. Sign two is Playing Emotional Hot Potato. Narcissists avoid their own horrible feelings by passing them on to others. They actually coerce you into experiencing the emotions they're trying to ignore in the first place.
跡象一是害怕表現(xiàn)出情感。對于內(nèi)心深處極度缺乏安全感的自戀者而言，人際交往是個可怖的問題。自戀狂想象他們自給自足游刃有余、可以對他人的情感無動于衷，以此來增強(qiáng)自信。跡象二是打燙手情感山芋牌。自戀者規(guī)避自身不詳?shù)母杏X，并把這種感受傳遞給他人，迫使你去體驗他們最初就想無視的情感體驗。

Next is Exerting Stealth Control. Narcissists feel uneasy about asking for help. Much easier is to remain in charge, make all the decisions and impose them on others as faits accomplis. Fourth is Placing People On Pedestals. For narcissists the logic goes like this: if someone this special wants me, I must be pretty special, too. Watch out for the sycophants at work, or the boyfriend who says you're perfect and that he loves you before he's even got to know you.
再者就是秘密行為控制。讓自戀者求助會致使其不安，對他們而言，保持萬事自盡在掌握、一切自己做定奪，給別人施以運籌帷幄的感覺會讓他們好受些。跡象四是把別人推上神壇。自戀者的邏輯是這樣的：如果特別的人喜歡我，那么我必定也很特別。留心職場溜須拍馬的人，當(dāng)心那種還不了解你就口口聲聲表示愛你、說你很完美的男朋友。

Finally, there's Fantasising You're Twins. You know those couples who tell you they're alike in every way and that it's like looking in the mirror? Moderate narcissists, says Dr Malkin, can be 'turned' with care and attention. For extreme narcissists, however, there's not usually any way back. It's a pathological condition - the damage runs too deep.
最后一個跡象：假想你們是雙胞胎。你也知道那一對對情侶的吧？喜歡告訴你他們各方各面都很相像，就像是看鏡中的自己一樣。適度的自戀者，馬爾金博士說，施以呵護(hù)關(guān)注是可以“回心轉(zhuǎn)意”的。然而，對于極端自戀狂，基本沒有回頭路。這是種病態(tài)，病入膏肓、損傷極深。

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