四六級沖刺之寫作大賽優(yōu)秀范文賞析
2014年6月四六級開考在即，為了幫助大家更好地掌握寫作技巧，滬江部落四六級備考小組近期舉行了四六級作文大賽活動，目前活動已圓滿結束（點擊查看活動回顧>>），我們一起來看看比賽中的優(yōu)秀范文吧！
四級作文題目：
Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a short essay entitled Should University Campuses Be Used as Public Parking Lots? You should write at least 120 words but no more than 180 words.
1. 目前一些大學開放校園作為公共停車場
2. 有人認為這樣可以資源共享，有人認為這樣會擾亂教學秩序
3. 我認為……
滬友ID：Florence_jia
范文展示：
Should University Campuses Be Used as Public Parking Lots?
In pace with the rapid growth of the economy, the amount of private cars is increasingly rising. Meanwhile, the problems of parking are also becoming more and more severe. Recently, some universities have opened their campuses as public parking lots, which has caused a heated discussion among people.
Should university campuses be used as public parking lots? Different people hold different ideas. Some argue that using university campuses as public parking lots is beneficial to improving the current parking condition by sharing resources. Yet 【yet改成Meanwhile】 others maintain that too many cars parked into the campus will break the peace of the academic environment.
As for me, I disagree with using university campuses as public parking lots. On the one hand, private cars release too much exhaust gas that exerts negative effects on the air condition and do harm to students’health. On the other hand, with too many vehicles, it is more difficult for campuses to stay 【stay改為keep】 well-ordered and safe. For instance, private cars pose a potential threat to pedestrians and cyclists on campus if drivers are careless. Therefore, to avoid trouble and danger, I strongly hold that university campuses should not be used as public parking lots.
點評：文章結構合理，只有個別現(xiàn)銜接和搭配不夠妥當，用詞句型都比較準確。?
滬友ID：qsdaren?
范文展示：
In our country, currently, some higher education institutions begin to open their campuses as public parking lots in order to add to their balance sheet, which has become a heated debate among people from all walks of our society【of our society改為of life】.
On one hand, some people tend to harbor?【hold】 the idea that it is a reasonable way to share resources, for those universities are also financially supported by taxpayers among whom some may have a hard time finding parking places in this time and age.?【among whom后面有點表達有錯誤，whom在從句里不是做賓語是做的主語，要用who.建議改成：among who may have a problem of finding parking lots】 On the other hand, some others argue that doing this?【doing this有點指向不明哦，建議改成：Too many cars park in campus】 may inevitably disturb and disrupt the normal orders on?【of】 campuses and do harm to the quality of our education.
To sum up, I am highly convinced that the authorities should shoulder their due responsibilities to scientifically and holistically meet the needs of both sides, such as designating a special area as the parking area and strictly checking up the drivers who need to park there. (158words)
點評：結構合理，觀點明確。用詞很高級哦，但是要注意細節(jié)。有拼寫和語法錯誤的地方要注意檢查。
六級作文題目：
Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a short essay entitled On Dialectal TV Programs. You should write at least 150 words but no more than 200 words following the outline given below：
1. 現(xiàn)在電視上出現(xiàn)了很多方言類的節(jié)目
2. 有人對這種現(xiàn)象表示支持，也有人并不贊成
3. 我的看法
滬友ID：cherryic
范文展示：
On Dialectal TV Programs
Nowadays, people are more easily exposed to the TV programs and shows in dialects compared to in the past when the audience only had a limited range of choices to pick. Many reasons contribute to this phenomenon, among which it includes the technology advancement, catering to the need of different ethnic groups and the protection of local cultures.
For one thing, some advocates believe that at this moment, a variety of local cultures are facing the danger of extinction, so this could be a suitable way to improve 【improve改為arise】 people's awareness of preserving the intangible cultural heritage like our vernaculars. Nevertheless, for another thing, those who oppose it hold the argument that this might affect the promotion of mandarin whose purpose is to fill the gap caused by the usage of different local languages.
In conclusion, it is more advisable, in my opinion, to strike a balance between these two sides. The relevant departments should make more efforts to prevent those cultural treasures from expiring?【expiring改為extinction】. At the same time, there should be more guides from parents and teachers to prepare our next generation for a better understanding of subcultures.
點評：句型和語法都不錯。但是對近義詞的辨析有點不到位哦。
滬友ID：cty0315
范文展示：
Viewpoints on dialectal programme
To cater for different people’s taste, the television producers wrack their brains to bring forth new ideas in order to attract more and more people. Nowadays, there are some dialectal programme come on the scene .
As the most of new things appearing, it usually accompanied with the controversy. Some people are in favor of dialectal TV programme while others hold opposite opinions.?As far as i'm concerned, I think it is a fabulous programme. First of all, extinction of language and culture is one of the major challenges we face today. We've been forced to speak Mandan 【應該是mandarin】 since the kindergarten. As a result, we can't speak the local dialect. It's a good way to help children and adults to pick up it again. Dialect, as the gem of Chinese culture, should be well-reserved and inherit 【過去分詞不要忘哦】 to the next generation. What’s more, a lot of people work at 【at改為in更合適】 another city, which 【be動詞is不能忘】 far away from his hometown, 【添加一個連接詞and】?work very hard. They must be moved and happy to hear the friendly local dialect, which can make them more ambitious to realize their dream of becoming richer. Last but not least, it makes the TV programme more various. When we 【缺一個are】? bored with the gossip of stars, TV series and news, the dialectal TV programme can relax our mind and reduce stress.
All in all, dialectal TV programme is such 【這里加一個a】?brilliant idea that we should reserve it and make it better.
點評：觀點明確，句型不錯哦。但是要細心，很多語法錯誤是可以通讀一遍檢查出來的哦。?
相關推薦：
