Hints:

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That modesty has left many a Chinese hungry at an American table , for Chinese politeness calls for three refusals before one accepts an offer, and the American hosts take a "no"to mean "no", whether it's the first, second, or third time. Recently, a member of a delegation sent to China by a large American corporation complained to me about how the Chinese had asked them three times if they would be willing to modify some proposal, and each time the Americans had said "no"clearly and definitely. My friend was angry because the Chinese had not taken their word the first time. I recognized the problem immediately and wondered why the Americans had not studied up on cultural differences before coming to China. It would have saved them a lot of confusion and frustration in their negotiations. Once you've learned the signals and how to respond, life becomes much easier, When guests come, I know I should immediately ask if they'd like a cup of tea. They will respond,"Please don't bother,"which is my signal to fetch tea.
這種謙虛使許多中國人去了美國人家里吃飯時不能吃飽，因為按照中國的禮節(jié)，任何東西需要再三推讓才能接受，而美國主人則認為“不要”就是“不要”，不管是第一次，第二次還是第三次。 最近，美國某大公司訪華的一位成員向我抱怨說，關(guān)于他們愿不愿意修改某提議，中國人竟問了他們?nèi)?，而且每次美國人都清清楚楚，斬釘截鐵的說“不”。我的朋友很生氣，因為中國人沒把他們第一次說的話當回事。我馬上就意識到問題所在，而且奇怪這些美國人為什么沒在去中國之前徹底研究一下文化差異。那樣他們在談判中就可以免去很多困惑和挫折。 一旦你知道了應(yīng)答的信號和方法，生活就變輕松多了。當客人剛到的時候，我知道我應(yīng)該馬上問他們要不要喝茶。他們會說：請不要麻煩了?！边@正是我該去泡茶的信號。