Most of us have at least one friend we consider toxic: the loser friend who disrupts our entire world the second they step into it. We know things would be so much easier if we cut them loose, yet we spend more time figuring out why we stay than it would take to actually leave.
大多數(shù)人都至少有一個(gè)渾身散發(fā)負(fù)能量的“有毒”的朋友：只要他們前腳踏足，我們的世界馬上變得亂七八糟。我們都知道遠(yuǎn)離這樣的朋友，事情會(huì)變得更加簡(jiǎn)單，其實(shí)我們已經(jīng)花了太多時(shí)間去思考為什么還要留在這樣的朋友身邊。

Why You Have Loser Friends
為什么你有負(fù)能量的朋友

The truth is, it happens for a multitude of reasons:
實(shí)際上，有很多原因：

You’ve been friends with them since you were kids.
你們是發(fā)小。

You know them so well you’re constantly justifying their behavior.
太了解他們了，所以經(jīng)常評(píng)判他們的行為。

You feel guilty because they don’t have anyone else to turn to.
他們沒(méi)有其他可以求助的對(duì)象，所以你會(huì)有負(fù)罪感。

You feel obligated to spend time with them because they’re a mutual friend of your BFF/spouse/family member.
他們也是你男朋友/配偶/家庭成員，所以你覺(jué)得有責(zé)任要陪著他們。

You’re afraid of how they’ll react if you confront them (a.k.a. more drama).
如果你跟他們正面遭遇，你很怕他們會(huì)有的反應(yīng)（會(huì)更戲劇化）。

You feel it’s easier to deal with them than disrupt your lifestyle any further.
與其破壞現(xiàn)有的生活方式，還不如和他們繼續(xù)相處下去。

Usually though, it’s a simple case of outgrowing each other. What caused you to “click” initially as friends no longer applies, or your lives are going in completely different directions.
通常情況下，這只是簡(jiǎn)單的兩個(gè)人不搭的問(wèn)題而已。當(dāng)初讓你覺(jué)得是朋友的沖動(dòng)不復(fù)存在，或者是你倆的生活方向截然不同。

What Constitutes a Loser Friend?
到底負(fù)能量朋友的標(biāo)志是什么？

When I use the term “l(fā)oser friend,” I don’t mean they themselves are losers—everyone is entitled to live their life exactly how they want to—but what they’re doing to your life is causing you to lose what you want… and you’re letting it happen.
我用的短語(yǔ)是“負(fù)能量朋友”，我的意思并不是他們本身就是負(fù)能量的，畢竟每個(gè)人都有權(quán)利去照著自己的想法來(lái)生活，但如果他們給你生活造成的影響使你失去了你想要的東西，你就需要注意了。

If you have friends who do any of the following, you need to seriously consider their place in your life:
如果你有朋友干以下這些事情，你需要認(rèn)真的考慮考慮他們?cè)谀闵钪械牡匚涣恕?/div>

They’re not supportive.
他們幫不上忙。

They’re not there when you need them.
你需要他們的時(shí)候總是不在。

They’re only there when they need you.
只有在需要你的時(shí)候他們才會(huì)出現(xiàn)。

They make you feel drained.
他們讓你覺(jué)得累。

They have no ambition.
他們沒(méi)有野心。

They constantly infuriate you.
他們經(jīng)常激怒你。

They expect you to drop everything when they want to do something.
當(dāng)他們想干什么的時(shí)候，他們希望你能拋下一切。

They think everything is an urgent crisis.
他們覺(jué)得每件事都是急事。

Take it from someone who watched her own life implode: if you want to be amazing, you have to spend your time with amazing people. In order to make room for these people, you have to leave your loser friends behind.
從那些內(nèi)心充滿(mǎn)激情的人中學(xué)習(xí)學(xué)習(xí)吧：如果你想變得厲害，你必須花時(shí)間和那些厲害的人在一起。為了空出時(shí)間給這些人，還是拋下負(fù)能量的朋友們吧。

Why You Should Leave Your Loser Friends Behind
為什么要遠(yuǎn)離負(fù)能量的朋友

It’s not going to be easy, but letting them go is a necessary part of creating the life you’ve always wanted for yourself. Otherwise:
這也不是那么簡(jiǎn)單的一件事，但是想要過(guò)上自己想要的生活，遠(yuǎn)離他們是必須的，否則：

1. They’ll hold you back from your full potential.
他們會(huì)耗光你所有的潛能

The biggest thing I learned from my experience with friends like these is that you’ll never live up to your full potential if you’re constantly weighed down by unnecessary drama and complication. In order to succeed, you need a solid routine and a strong support system. Consider your loser friends the loose floorboard in that support system, constantly distracting you from your goals.
我個(gè)人對(duì)于這類(lèi)朋友最大的經(jīng)驗(yàn)就是，如果你長(zhǎng)期被他們不必要的戲劇化和復(fù)雜性干擾，你永遠(yuǎn)無(wú)法發(fā)揮自己最大的潛能。要想成功，你需要一個(gè)堅(jiān)定的路線和強(qiáng)大的支持體系。把那些負(fù)能量朋友踢出你的后備軍團(tuán)吧，他們能做的只是干擾你罷了。

2. They’ll make you feel like crap about yourself.
他們會(huì)讓你覺(jué)得很糟糕

When they want you to do something you don’t want to do, they’ll constantly nag you and make you feel guilty about being who you are until you cave to their demands. It’s an incessant, vicious cycle that won’t end until you put a stop to it. If you don’t, get ready for a wide array of self-esteem issues.
如果他們想你去做你不愿意做的事情，他們會(huì)一直纏著你，讓你有負(fù)罪感，覺(jué)得你應(yīng)該滿(mǎn)足他們的需求。這樣一來(lái)就會(huì)形成惡性循環(huán)，無(wú)休無(wú)止。但如果不遠(yuǎn)離，你就做好各類(lèi)打擊自信的心理準(zhǔn)備吧。

3. They’ll negatively impact your reputation.
他們會(huì)對(duì)你的名聲產(chǎn)生負(fù)面影響

You were guilted into going to that party and became your sloppy friend’s crutch, and the dream employer you’ve wanted to work with since you were in public school is going to know that when they’re checking out the horrific pictures you’re tagged in on Facebook.
你被朋友說(shuō)服陪TA去參加聚會(huì)（不去你會(huì)覺(jué)得很內(nèi)疚），成為你懶散朋友的拐杖。你從上公立學(xué)校開(kāi)始就一直夢(mèng)想為其工作的理想雇主，早就在臉書(shū)里看過(guò)你那些恐怖的照片了，而你卻對(duì)此一無(wú)所知。

More than that, if you’re this easily influenced in your personal life, they’re going to assume you won’t be able to hack it in a professional setting.
不僅如此，如果這個(gè)輕而易舉的就影響到你的個(gè)人生活，他們就會(huì)覺(jué)得你無(wú)法在專(zhuān)業(yè)的環(huán)境中應(yīng)對(duì)自如。

4. They’ll bring out the worst in you.
他們會(huì)讓你不自覺(jué)展示最差的那一面

You know all of those bad habits you’re trying to break? Your loser friends will make it so difficult for you to build good habits you’ll constantly crack under the pressure and eventually give up on the concept entirely. After all, if you change for the better, your relationship with them will change for the worse, and will work against what they need from you.
你想試圖改掉那些壞習(xí)慣？這些負(fù)能量朋友會(huì)讓你舉步維艱，你無(wú)法養(yǎng)成好的習(xí)慣，在重壓之下你最終就會(huì)放棄。畢竟，如果你變得更好，你和他們的關(guān)系就會(huì)變得更差，這會(huì)妨礙到他們利用你。

5. They’ll dim the good things in your life.
他們會(huì)毀了你生活中的美好事物

You’ll be so focused on their drama, needs, and wants, the stress of your friendship will cause you to lose focus on the aspects of your life that are going well. Simply put, negativity breeds negativity—is this really how you want your life to be?
你總是關(guān)注他們的戲劇化生活、需要和想法，這種友情的壓力會(huì)讓你無(wú)法關(guān)注自己正在變好的生活。簡(jiǎn)單的說(shuō)，消極帶來(lái)消極——你難道真希望生活變成這樣么？

So what are you waiting for? Leave drama to the circus and live your life exactly how you want to, with who you want to. If you don’t decide to do so now, your loser friends will decide for you.
你還在等什么呢？把這類(lèi)人撇除自己的生活圈，好好的和那些你愿意在一起的朋友們過(guò)上自己想過(guò)的生活。如果你現(xiàn)在還不做決定，那些負(fù)能量朋友就會(huì)左右你。