When people work together in groups, there are bound to be occasions when they disagree and conflicts arise in the workplace. Whether these disagreements become full-blown feuds or instead fuel creative problem solving is, in large part, up to the person in charge.

You can do a lot to set the tone. You can ensure that your employees deal with disagreements in proactive, productive ways if you know when and how to intervene -- and when to let things be.

Make sure everyone involved knows exactly what the issue is and why they’re arguing. Allow each person to clarify their perspectives and opinions, giving equal time for them to express their thoughts. If necessary, establish a time limit (say, 5 minutes per person), and ensure that all parties stick to it while stating their cases. It’s your responsibility to make sure everyone feels safe and supported, and that no one feels ganged up on.

Talk things through until you reach your first level of consensus: Everyone agrees that there’s a problem and is clear on the nature of the problem. Don’t force solutions before the situation is clear.

We’ve all heard parodies of the kind of shrink-speak that simply echoes what someone is saying, but a little reflective listening, used correctly, can stimulate conflict resolution.

Make sure everyone understands what has just been said, including the speaker. Ralph may be going on and on about extra work and the need for training, but try to find and clarify the underlying message: “What I think Ralph is saying is that he feels he is constantly fixing other people’s mistakes.”

A little conflict-resolution training can help you learn some tricks for getting to the second level of consensus: Now everyone knows what the heck Ralph is talking about.

What’s the end result, from each party’s point of view? One trick: Try asking each participant to write down their vision of the perfect outcome, and then read each piece out loud without identifying the author. This way, personal prejudices and separate agendas can be removed from the mix.

This process will lead to your third level of consensus: Everyone agrees on the specifics of their differences. Or it may come as a great surprise to all to discover that their visions aren’t so far apart after all.

Figure out what can realistically be done to achieve everyone’s goals. If action is taken, how will this affect the company’s projects and objectives? Will the end result be worth the time and energy spent? If the attempt fails, what’s the worst that can happen?

Talk through the “what ifs” together, as a team. Make sure everyone has a chance to be heard, and to hear other opinions. It may be that imagining possible scenarios will lead to shifting priorities, and maybe even new ideas, as you reach your fourth level of consensus: You’re addressing the problem together.

It’s often the case that conflicts arise over small differences in style, rather than substance, when everyone is really trying to achieve the same goals.

Is there some part of the issue on which everyone agrees? If not, identify bigger-picture, long-term goals that mean something to everyone and start from there. Encourage all to think about what they’d be comfortable giving up to reach the agreed-upon goals together. Achieving your fifth level of consensus means that everyone understands what’s required to move forward as a team.

It’s human nature to like some people more than others, and it’s also all too human to respond to flattery and sucking-up. We all love attention, but succumbing to blatant efforts to win your favor will only weaken your position as a leader. Other employees will always notice if one person or group is consistently singled out for special treatment, or another is consistently ignored.

Make an effort to treat all of your employees fairly and equally, and accord them the same level of respect. Recognize and praise accomplishment. If employees feel valued and appreciated for the work they do, they’re less likely to jockey for position and start fights.

Disagreement often goes hand in hand with water cooler politics and internal lobbying. If you suspect that employees are making side deals to get support for their agendas, do your best to ignore these shenanigans and keep an objective perspective about the issues at hand.

Make sure everyone understands the company’s goals and expectations, including the expectations of each individual. Be as clear as you can about job descriptions, responsibilities, and territories. Discourage gossip, and don’t put people in the position of spying or reporting on each other. Create consistent performance review procedures that apply to everyone equally.

A little forethought can go a long way toward preventing conflicts among coworkers. To minimize the incidence of spats, bring issues out in the open before they become problems. Informal counseling provides managers and supervisors with an effective means of addressing and managing conflict in the workplace. This may take the form of meetings, negotiation/mediation sessions, or other dispute-resolution processes. Informal resolution of complaints at any stage of the process also provides managers with a no-fault, low- or no-cost means of restoring harmony and productivity to the organization.

It will help to have a clearly thought-out process for resolving conflicts. Provide appropriate training for all employees, teach everyone basic conflict-resolution skills, and set an example by using them yourself.

No amount of training will eliminate conflict in the workplace, and your employees aren’t going to become paragons of diplomacy overnight. But the example you set and the resources you provide will make a difference over time.

Generally speaking, managers who successfully handle conflicts in their organizations will experience lower rates of complaints than managers who fail to do so. Additionally, informal resolution of complaints terminates further administrative processing and related costs.

Finally, old-fashioned civility can bring a sense of peace and harmony to an otherwise stressful workplace. Incivility in the office carries a very high price in both human and financial terms. Conversely, a more respectful workplace environment means a better quality of life for employees.

Higher quality of life for your employees means higher-quality work, which should be an incentive for any employer to foster a “culture of civility” at work. Treat people politely and respectfully, and take them.