Yes, kissing ass can help you get ahead. But studies have also shown that when it’s obvious it can backfire.The following seven techniques for ingratiation and influence are most effective in moving up the corporate ladder without looking like a kiss-ass:
沒(méi)錯(cuò)，拍馬屁確實(shí)能幫助你平步青云，不過(guò)研究也表明，當(dāng)你的奉承太過(guò)明顯的時(shí)候，那反而會(huì)弄巧成拙。下面介紹七種最有效的溜須拍馬之術(shù)，不僅能讓你扶搖直上，還能讓你拍馬屁也不著痕跡。

1.Frame flattery as likely to make the boss uncomfortable. …one manager noted that he commonly prefaces flattering remarks with such phrases as “I don’t want to embarrass you but. . . ,” or “I know you won’t want me to say this but. . . ,” or “You’re going to hate me for saying this but…
1.先抑后揚(yáng)地拍馬屁。有一個(gè)經(jīng)理表示，他經(jīng)常面對(duì)諸如此類的恭維話語(yǔ)：“我不想讓你覺(jué)得尷尬，但是……”，或“我知道你不希望我提起，但是……”，或“我說(shuō)了你恐怕要怪我，但是……”

2.Frame flattery as advice seeking.?…One manager suggested, “. . . if I wanted someone else to know that I admire him, rather than saying ‘I really admire you,’ I would be more likely to ask him for advice: ‘How were you able to pull off that strategy so successfully?’ something like that . . . the basic question is, how can I replicate your success?” Such questions frame flattery as an attempt to learn from alter rather as an attempt to curry favor…”
2.尋求建議式的拍馬屁。一位經(jīng)理建議說(shuō)，“……假如我想讓某人知道我很崇拜他，與其說(shuō)‘我崇拜你’，我更傾向于向?qū)Ψ綄で蠼ㄗh：‘你怎么能做到那么成功地推動(dòng)那條戰(zhàn)略的？’諸如此類。這類的模板是，我要如何復(fù)制你的成功？”這樣的馬屁就好像我是想從對(duì)方身上學(xué)到什么，而不是想要巴結(jié)他?！?/div>

3.Argue prior to agreeing with the boss.?“…A focal actor may reduce the likelihood that opinion conformity is interpreted as ingratiation by challenging an influence target’s opinion prior to agreeing with him or her. The focal actor’s expression of agreement is then more likely to be interpreted as a genuine affirmation of alter’s opinion rather than as an attempt to curry favor…”
3.贊成老板的意見(jiàn)之前先提出異議。“一個(gè)優(yōu)秀的演員會(huì)先提出反對(duì)意見(jiàn)，再贊同老板的意見(jiàn)，通過(guò)這種方式拍馬屁就會(huì)不著痕跡。因?yàn)檫@種贊同表現(xiàn)得更像是一種對(duì)別人意見(jiàn)的充分肯定而不是在溜須拍馬?！?/div>

4.Find out the boss’s position without asking him, then mention it in front of him as your own.…As one manager suggested, “. . . if you just keep agreeing with the boss it might seem like you’re sucking up . . . but if you find out the boss’ opinion on a policy from talking to his friend and then later in talking to the boss you raise the same opinion . . . it would come across as more sincere.”
4.在不問(wèn)本人的前提下得知老板的立場(chǎng)，然后在他面前以你的立場(chǎng)的形式提出。一位經(jīng)理這么說(shuō)，“假如你總是同意你老板的意見(jiàn)或許會(huì)顯得你在拍馬屁……但是如果你通過(guò)和老板的朋友聊天找出了老板關(guān)于某個(gè)政策的意見(jiàn)，然后在和你老板講話時(shí)提出相同的意見(jiàn)……那就顯得誠(chéng)懇多了?！?/span>

5.Complimenting the boss to the boss’s friend. As one manager put it, “. . . complimenting someone to his face is kind of obvious brown-nosing, or at least suspect. If you regularly say nice things about him to his friend though, he [the influence target] will almost always find out about it eventually, and it will mean a lot more when he does.”
5.在老板的朋友面前夸他。一位經(jīng)理這么說(shuō)，“在本人面前拍馬屁顯然是非常諂媚的，至少是可疑的。但是如果你總在老板的朋友面前說(shuō)一些關(guān)于他的好話，他（你想恭維的目標(biāo)）遲早會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)的，而且那對(duì)他來(lái)說(shuō)也會(huì)比當(dāng)面拍馬屁要更加有意義。”

6.Show the boss you have the same values. …As one manager suggested, “I’ve found that a good way to begin a discussion is to make some reference to something that’s important to me personally and that I have reason to believe is important to the other person—sometimes it’s my religious conviction, sometimes it’s my commitment to environmental protection, sometimes it’s my family . . . [when asked why:] they’re more likely to trust whatever I say afterward.”
6.向老板的價(jià)值觀看齊。一位經(jīng)理說(shuō)，“我發(fā)現(xiàn)開(kāi)啟討論的一個(gè)好辦法是：從我覺(jué)得重要的觀點(diǎn)入手，我覺(jué)得重要的東西對(duì)其他人來(lái)說(shuō)應(yīng)該也是很重要的。這些重要的東西可以是宗教信仰，或者對(duì)環(huán)境保護(hù)的認(rèn)同，或者是我的家人……如果對(duì)方向我詢問(wèn)理由了，那么我之后說(shuō)的話就更容易被相信了。”

7.Mention a group membership that the two of you have in common. ?…As one manager put it, “If I’m trying to influence someone I might start the conversation by mentioning a group or organization that I know we both belong to . . . [when asked what sort of group:] might be a political party, a religious organization . . . [when asked why:] I think it helps build trust so you can be more convincing.”
7.提起一個(gè)和你有共同點(diǎn)的團(tuán)隊(duì)成員。一位經(jīng)理說(shuō)，“假如我試圖影響某人，我會(huì)通過(guò)提起一個(gè)我們都從屬于的組織或圈子來(lái)開(kāi)啟對(duì)話。（如果問(wèn)我有那些圈子的話）那或許是一個(gè)政治黨派，一個(gè)宗教組織”……（如果問(wèn)我為什么的話）我認(rèn)為那有助于建立信任，那樣我就可以更有說(shuō)服力?！?span style="line-height: 1.8em;">