Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand? If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!
你是否在等待足以改變命運(yùn)的大事件并以此過上自己想要的生活，這樣你才可以更積極地對待生活？你是否發(fā)現(xiàn)自己的幸福感是有條件的，而且認(rèn)為必須發(fā)生某些事才能讓你更快樂？你是否認(rèn)為自己的生活壓力過大，而其他人都無法理解？如果以上任何一個問題你回答了“是”，你可能已經(jīng)在消極情緒中沉溺很久了。

The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places! Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.
下面是一些遇事保持樂觀的小竅門。它們可以幫你避免不恰當(dāng)?shù)孛つ繉ふ倚睦韺W(xué)家所說的“正能量”。我們來看看樂觀人群的10個好習(xí)慣。

1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.
樂觀人群懂得放棄和順其自然的區(qū)別

Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go off negative forces in their lives. Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:
樂觀人群不會糾結(jié)于理念、信仰和那些會給他們帶來負(fù)面情緒的人。他們會相信自己的判斷，讓生活中的負(fù)面壓力順其自然。尤其在人際關(guān)系方面，他們信奉這樣幾句話：

I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life …
對于給我的生活帶來積極影響的人，我會盡我所能去信任他們，

To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones …
對于給我?guī)硐麡O影響的人，我會保持距離、或者由他們?nèi)ィ?/div>

And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!
而且我有智慧分辨這兩種人的不同！

2. Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.
樂觀人群不僅會享受美好的一天，他們還會創(chuàng)造美好的一天

Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.
樂觀人群的字典里從來沒有“等待”“希望”“盼望”這些詞。他們總是用那些強(qiáng)有力、而且積極主動的字眼，絕不會用那種被動的字眼。被動會讓人缺乏參與精神，而樂觀人群會積極參與到自己的人生規(guī)劃中。在困境中他們會用行動來改善自己的感受，而不是指望壞情緒快消失。

3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.
對于樂觀人群來說，過去只停留在過去

Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.
回憶，無論好壞，都應(yīng)該留在原地 —— 也就是事情發(fā)生的過去。樂觀人群不會過分懷念美好的舊時光，因為他們正忙著創(chuàng)造新的回憶。而過去那些負(fù)面回憶的作用不是讓你自怨自艾，也不是讓你毫無意義地后悔，而是讓你在后悔過后從中吸取教訓(xùn)，然后讓其成為通向更美好未來的墊腳石。

4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.
樂觀人群都懂得感恩

The most positive people are the most grateful people. They do not focus on the potholes of their lives. They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences. They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.
最樂觀的人往往也是最懂得感恩的人。他們不會糾結(jié)于生活中的坎坷，而會用全新的感官和體驗，去關(guān)注生活中每一天等待著他們的寶藏。在他們眼中，生活就是一個充滿了傳奇的寶庫。

5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.
樂觀人群不會為自己的局限所困，而會被自己的潛能所激勵

Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do. They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities. They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time. They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!
樂觀人群會關(guān)注自己能做什么，而不是不能做什么。他們不會天真地相信凡事都有完美的解決辦法，他們認(rèn)為每個問題都有許多解決辦法和可能性。他們絕不會原地祈禱事情出現(xiàn)轉(zhuǎn)機(jī)，而會無所畏懼地為老問題嘗試新的解決辦法。他們不會像查理布朗那樣，每次只是期待露西不會把球從他手里搶走。

6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!
樂觀人群不會讓恐懼打亂自己的生活

Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.
樂觀人群明白，那些被恐懼所左右和束縛的人永遠(yuǎn)無法真正活出自己。他們也會保持適度的謹(jǐn)慎，但絕不會因為恐懼而放棄對新事物的嘗試。他們深知，失敗也是通向成功的必經(jīng)之路。他們堅信，哪怕被生活中的挫折或自己犯下的錯誤所打倒，他們也可以重新站起來，因為他們對于自己的抗擊打能力有著強(qiáng)大的信念。

7. Positive people smile a lot!
樂觀人群常常微笑

When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!
如果你感到樂觀向上，你也會發(fā)自內(nèi)心地微笑，而且這種微笑是可以感染他人的。和樂觀人群相處越久的人也越容易微笑！樂觀人群善于發(fā)現(xiàn)生活的閃光點(diǎn)，而且富有幽默感，也不介意拿自己開玩笑。他們也有很強(qiáng)的自尊，但不會太把自己當(dāng)回事兒！

8. People who are positive are great communicators.
樂觀人群善于交流

They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life. They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse. They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.
樂觀人群明白，自信的交流是日常生活中和他人溝通的唯一途徑。他們會避免批判性的、憤怒的交談，也不會因為他人出言不遜就以牙還牙。相反地，他們在自我表達(dá)時善于運(yùn)用機(jī)智和策略。他們還充滿自信，絕不會人云亦云，也不會亦步亦趨跟著別人犯錯誤。

9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.
樂觀人群明白，你活得越長，痛苦和悲傷也越多。

One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time. Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.
對樂觀人群一個最普遍的誤解就是，他們每時每刻都很快樂。這簡直大錯特錯。任何一個頭腦正常的人都不可能永遠(yuǎn)保持快樂。悲傷、憤怒和失望也是生命中不可缺少的情緒。如果你只擁有一些簡單膚淺的情緒，如何能做到對他人感同身受呢？樂觀人群在面對各種情緒時不會逃避，他們認(rèn)為情緒上的治愈過程有助于他們體驗多種情感，而不僅僅是“快樂”這一種。他們總是相信，黑暗的盡頭必定有光明。

10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.
樂觀人群善于掌控自己的人生，他們不會責(zé)怪他人，也不會做生活的受害者。

Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.
樂觀人群會向有能力而且可靠的人尋求幫助和支持。他們很明確自己的基本人權(quán)，而且非常維護(hù)自己的尊嚴(yán)，因此絕不會扮演受害者的角色。樂觀人群有著積極的心態(tài)，絕不會心存怨恨。寬容有助于樂觀人群拋棄愁苦，使他們的生活更美好。