1.She's my guest. If anyone should offer her anything, it should be me. Elizabeth, can I get you something? Perhaps a feminine hygiene product, or a bowel regulating yogurt?
她是我的客人。要招待她的話也該由我來吧。伊麗莎白，我能為你效勞嗎？你想要女性衛(wèi)生用品還是調(diào)節(jié)腸道的酸奶？

2.Oh, Penny. This is Dr. Plimpton, a leading expert on quantum cosmology. Dr. Plimpton, Penny is a waitress who doesn't understand the role gasoline plays in an internal combustion engine.
佩妮，這位是普林頓博士，量子宇宙論權(quán)威專家。普林頓博士，這是佩妮，一名不理解內(nèi)燃機需要汽油做燃料的服務(wù)生。

3.Roommates agree that Friday nights will be reserved for watching Joss Whedon's brilliant new series, Firefly.
室友同意在每周五晚上觀看喬斯.威登最新導(dǎo)演的驚世力作《螢火蟲》。

4.The apartment flag is gold lion rampant on a field of azure.
公寓旗幟是一頭在天藍色背景下兩腿站立的獅子。

5.I'm here because you violated our roommate agreement, specifically Section Eight, 'Visitors', sub-section C, 'Females', Paragraph 4, 'Coitus'. Roommates shall give each other twelve hours' notice of impending coitus.
我來是因為你違反了我們的室友協(xié)議，確切來說是第八部分“賓客”里的c小部分“女性”里的第四段“交媾”。在進行交媾之前，室友需要提前12小時通知對方。

6.I assure you, you'll be sorry you wasted your money on an iPod, when Microsoft comes out with theirs.
等到微軟出了自己的播放器，到時你就等著后悔吧，把錢浪費在一文不值的蘋果機上。

7.Yes, in 1917, when Albert Einstein established the theoretic foundation for the laser in his paper "Zur Quantentheorie der Strahlung," his fondest hope was that the resulting device be "bitchin'.
1917年，當(dāng)愛因斯坦在他的文章《關(guān)于輻射的量子理論》中闡述了激光的理論基礎(chǔ)時，他最誠摯的希望就是最終的儀器和很他媽的帥。

8.When one gets beaten up every other day in school, one of necessity develops a keen sense of hearing. Incidentally, one can get beaten up in school simply by referring to oneself as "one."
隔天就在學(xué)校挨揍的某人必然會進化出更敏銳的聽覺。而且在學(xué)校挨揍的某人通常都把自己稱為“某人”。

9.It’s a time of day I invented. It better defines the ambiguous period between afternoon and evening: prevening. Fairly certain it will catch on, as it fills a desperate need.
是我發(fā)明的描述時間的方式，更好地定義了個模棱兩可的時段，下午和晚上之間，就是傍晚。我確信因為急需精確描述，這詞定會廣為流傳。

10.In a few minutes, when I gloat over the failure of this enterprise, how would you prefer I do it? The standard "I told you so" with a classic "neener-neener"? Or just my normal look of haughty derision?
在幾分鐘后，等我幸災(zāi)樂禍地冷眼旁觀著本次相親的失敗，你們更愿意我怎么做？是標(biāo)準答案，“我早說過會這樣”？還是經(jīng)典的“哦也哦也”？還是用我平常那副高傲嘲弄的表情？