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Nothing is more futile and more self-defeating than the bitterness of spurned love, the vengeful feeling that someone else has "come between" oneself and a beloved. This is always a distortion of reality, for people are not the captives or victims of others.They are free agents, working out their own destinies for good or for ill. But the rejected lover or mate cannot afford to believe that his beloved has freely turned away from him and so he ascribes sinister or magical properties to the interloper. He calls him a hypnotist or a thief or a home-breaker. In the vast majority of cases, however, when a home is broken, the breaking has begun long before any "third party" has appeared on the scene.
因失戀而痛苦，因別人"插足"于自己與心上人之間而圖報(bào)復(fù)，是最徒勞、最自我折磨的了。這種事總是歪曲了事實(shí)真相，因?yàn)檎l都不是別人的俘虜或犧牲品--人都是自由行事的，不論命運(yùn)是好是壞，都由自己來做主。但是，遭離棄的情人或配偶無法相信他的心上人是主動(dòng)地背離他的--因而他歸咎于插足者心術(shù)不正或迷人有招。他把他叫做催眠師、竊賊或者破壞家族的人。然而，從大多數(shù)事例看，一個(gè)家的破裂，是早在什么"第三者"出現(xiàn)之前就開始了的。