In mid-December, I celebrated my 30th birthday at a little Scandinavian restaurant in a quickly-changing part of DC. I was surrounded by great artwork, brightly colored vats of aquavit, and the people I loved most. Throughout the cocktails and the courses of heavy winter food, I kept looking around to marvel at all I have to appreciate in my life. Professionally, I am a decently busy photographer and yoga teacher. I just marked a year and half with my boyfriend (we’re an OK Cupid success story). I have lovely friends and a great home and opportunities to travel. Most importantly, though, I feel good in my own skin and confident in my ability to handle the hard times.
12月中旬,我在一家傳統(tǒng)北歐風(fēng)情餐廳里慶祝了自己三十而立。這家飯店位于哥倫比亞,其所在地已經(jīng)發(fā)展得日新月異。在派對(duì)上,我的周圍是絢麗奪目的禮物,五彩斑斕的白蘭地和我最愛的人們所帶來的快樂。在享受可口的冬季佳肴和美酒的同時(shí),我亦觀察著周圍的人和事,對(duì)我生命中所出現(xiàn)的一切感到無比激動(dòng)和感恩。工作上,我是一個(gè)體面的攝影師和瑜伽教練。感情上,我和我的男友已經(jīng)共同度過了一年半的甜蜜戀愛時(shí)光(我和他的故事正是丘比特愛神之箭成功射中的杰作)。我還有要好的朋友和一個(gè)幸福的家庭,甚至有機(jī)會(huì)去外面旅旅游。而最最重要的是,我對(duì)自己的現(xiàn)狀非常滿意,日子即使變得艱難,我也相信自己有能力把它處理好。

It wasn’t always this way. Five years ago, I was going through some serious soul-searching. I was just back in the States after living abroad. Confused about what I wanted to do, I took a job at a dysfunctional non-profit, where I soon felt trapped. I had been single for a while and thought this meant something big about me. I tried to be myself, but each date I went on only confirmed how far I was from having the kind of relationship I wanted. There was nothing really wrong in my life, but nothing felt like it fit.
但之前我的生活并不是這樣。五年前,我一直在認(rèn)真進(jìn)行自我反思。當(dāng)時(shí)我正從國(guó)外回來,對(duì)于前途非常迷茫。在一家不太正規(guī)的非盈利機(jī)構(gòu)工作了一段時(shí)間后,我陷入了工作困境。對(duì)于單身的我來講,這個(gè)狀態(tài)是非常嚴(yán)重的。我努力做我自己,但每天我所作的一切卻僅僅證明了一點(diǎn)——我正離我理想的人際關(guān)系處理狀態(tài)越來越遠(yuǎn)。我的生活并沒有出現(xiàn)什么大問題,但卻總感覺有什么不對(duì)勁。

It took a lot of change to get to where I am now. I got a therapist and a life coach. I got serious about my yoga practice, sat for 10 days on an intense meditation retreat, and took ayahuasca with a shaman in the Peruvian Amazon. I took a lot of risks and was super honest about what I wanted—and what I was willing to do to get there. These days, I still feel fear, anger, anxiety, and shame. But I see these as temporary moods within the larger framework of a life I love.
我做了很大改變才成為如今的自己。我雇了一位私人醫(yī)生和一位生活導(dǎo)師,開始認(rèn)真練習(xí)瑜伽。我曾靜坐整整10天,全身心投入冥想,在秘魯亞馬遜和一位薩滿祭司飲用死藤水(小編注:用南美一種藤本植物的根泡制而成,有致幻作用的飲料)。我嘗試了各種冒險(xiǎn)活動(dòng),完全忠于探索自己的內(nèi)心所需,并思考著我愿意怎樣做才能獲得它。

I want this for us all. Although I am skeptical about most New Year's resolutions—my brother says we just use them to make ourselves feel better after overindulging in the holidays—I think now is as good a time as any to make the changes you’ve been thinking about. These are five ideas that have helped me on my quest to be happier.
我希望把我的想法分享給大家。雖然對(duì)人們常講的新年計(jì)劃我持懷疑態(tài)度——弟弟說那其實(shí)人們?yōu)榱讼硎芗倨谡业拿篮梦拷濉艺J(rèn)為對(duì)于你們當(dāng)中任何有規(guī)劃新年習(xí)慣的朋友,現(xiàn)在就是最好的時(shí)機(jī)了。

1. Put the cart before the horse. The most important—and at times perhaps the most annoying—piece of advice that I’ve gotten is just to straight out be happier. We get so caught up in trying to look perfect, get promoted, be cool, find a partner. All of that stuff is awesome, but it's not going to feel good for long without a certain base of personal contentment. You’re just going to want more and more. If you really think about it, we seek things because we think we will feel better once we have them. So why not just feel better and then see what comes?
1.將想法本末倒置。坦白來說,我得到的最重要的有時(shí)也是最討厭的建議就是變得更快樂。我們總是過分追求外形完美,工作晉升,保持理智或找到伴侶。沒錯(cuò),這些都很誘人值得去追求,但若沒有自我滿足感,擁有這些并不能永遠(yuǎn)讓你保持快樂。你會(huì)變得貪得無厭。仔細(xì)思考下,如果你真認(rèn)為,我們追求某物是因?yàn)橐坏┇@得它我們將變得開心,那為什么不開始先保持快樂的心態(tài),也許你想要的會(huì)自動(dòng)來到你身邊呢?

2. Dream big and challenge yourself. To me, making a "resolution" feels like a punishment and a chore. I’ve always preferred to think of these goals as "dreams," which stirs up the feeling of possibility for me. There is a special energy and real power that comes from talking about your dreams, even when they sound totally crazy. Around this time of year, I like to make a list of what I really want to see happen in my life. I may not get to everything on that list this year (or even in my lifetime), but at least I can understand what direction I want to be moving in. If dreams don't appeal to you, think about your change as more of a challenge. In 2011 I challenged myself to take and post a photograph every day. Taking 365 pictures was fun at times and annoying at others, but in the end I learned that living an artistic life is about doing a little work every day, not just the occasional inspiration.
2.懷揣大夢(mèng)想,自我挑戰(zhàn)。做計(jì)劃這種事對(duì)我來說就是被懲罰,等于做家務(wù)。因此,我傾向于將計(jì)劃看作夢(mèng)想,夢(mèng)想可以帶來實(shí)現(xiàn)的可能性。當(dāng)你談?wù)撃愕膲?mèng)想時(shí),你會(huì)感受到一股奇妙卻真實(shí)的力量在振奮著你——即使這個(gè)夢(mèng)想聽起來是那么的荒誕不羈。在每年這個(gè)時(shí)間,我都會(huì)列個(gè)清單寫下我真正所需的一切,看看來年它們會(huì)不會(huì)發(fā)生。我可能不會(huì)將今年(或一生)所需的東西都列在上面,但至少可以明白自己所努力的方向。若你的夢(mèng)想沒有足夠吸引你,可以考慮改變自己來實(shí)現(xiàn)自我挑戰(zhàn)。在2011年,我的自我挑戰(zhàn)目標(biāo)是每天都要拍照攝影,并將作品張貼起來。有時(shí)你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)完成365張照片是一種樂趣,但亦有人會(huì)覺得這樣的工作非常痛苦,但最終我懂得了一點(diǎn)——做藝術(shù)不僅僅是瞬間的靈感,更多的是每天的點(diǎn)滴積累。

3.Act small. "Micro movements" is a term used by the inspirational author and dreaming advocate SARK. Twenty-eight years ago she was an unemployed artist in San Francisco who suffered from chronic procrastination. What changed her into the author of 16 bestselling books was learning how to take the first step. Her advice is that if your dream is to write a novel, then your first micro movement could be to turn on your computer. After that you can decide whether or not you want to keep going. If you do, from there you can open and name a Word document. If you decide to go further, then you can write a bad sentence and then maybe another will come. I’ve also heard this used as a way to motivate yourself to exercise: If you don’t feel like going for a run, just put on your shoes and see what happens. The key is to alleviate any pressure to do everything at once. Every project is made up of dozens of small steps that are all pretty doable.
3.從小事做起。“微行動(dòng)”一詞是由靈感作家和夢(mèng)想倡導(dǎo)者薩克提出來的。28年前她是舊金山的一名患有慢性拖延癥的無業(yè)藝術(shù)家。之后她開始學(xué)習(xí)如何邁出第一步來改變自我,因而成為了如今寫出16本暢銷書的著名作家。她給大家的建議是,若你的夢(mèng)想是寫小說,那你的第一個(gè)微行動(dòng)就是打開電腦。打開之后你再?zèng)Q定你是否繼續(xù)下一步。如果你決定繼續(xù),那么你將打開并創(chuàng)建一個(gè)word文檔。若你想深入進(jìn)行下去,你甚至可以寫個(gè)病句,而下一句或許就隨之而來了。我經(jīng)常聽到這樣鼓舞人心的話:即使你不想跑步,你也先穿上跑鞋再說。這樣激勵(lì)方式的關(guān)鍵在于減輕你立刻行動(dòng)的壓力。其實(shí)每個(gè)大的計(jì)劃都是由多個(gè)可行的小步驟積累形成的。

4. Practice. “Practice and all is coming.” This is my favorite quote from Patabi Jois, the father of Ashtanga Yoga. His students—who were mostly Western—would come to him seeking help to escape their neuroses and destructive behavior. He would flash his beatific smile and tell them to go do their practice and everything would be ok. Of course, your practice doesn't have to be yoga. It can be biking or painting or anything that challenges and centers you. My boyfriend spends his weekends experimenting with new baking recipes, pushing himself to get the right consistency and trying again when his cakes fall. The simple act of baking makes him feel good. So what is your practice? Once you figure out what that thing is for you, make a point of doing it a few times a week and notice how you feel within the consistency. Bigger goals and dramatic changes are very real, but I’ve come to see that daily routines are really what sustain me. The best creative work often happens within the stability of practice.
4. 實(shí)踐實(shí)踐再實(shí)踐。“實(shí)踐讓一切水到渠成”這是我最喜歡的一句格言,來自于阿斯湯加瑜伽鼻祖Patabi Jois。他大部分的學(xué)生來自于西方,經(jīng)常請(qǐng)教他如何擺脫一些精神上的破壞性行為。他總是露出一絲安詳?shù)奈⑿?,只告訴學(xué)生做瑜伽練習(xí),一切皆會(huì)找到答案。當(dāng)然,你的練習(xí)不一定是瑜伽,它可以是騎自行車,畫畫抑或是任何吸引你挑戰(zhàn)你的事。我的男友愿意花整個(gè)周末時(shí)間研究全新烘烤配方,一旦烘烤失敗就重新來過,他用這樣的方式促使自己獲得內(nèi)心的協(xié)調(diào)。烘烤面包如此簡(jiǎn)單的實(shí)踐卻使他感覺很棒。那么你的實(shí)踐是什么呢?當(dāng)你找到自己適合的實(shí)踐,一周留心地做幾次,感受下它給你帶來的內(nèi)心和諧。宏偉的目標(biāo)和突破性改變雖然也現(xiàn)實(shí),但我卻逐漸意識(shí)到每天日常的行為才是真正支撐我的東西。最具創(chuàng)造力的作品往往來源于你每天堅(jiān)持的實(shí)踐中。

5. Take refuge in yourself. The most incredible practice I’ve found is free-writing for 30 minutes each morning. I learned this from The Artist's Way (another great tool for tapping into your creative talents). I’ve done "morning pages" as consistently for over two years, and they have made such a big difference in my attitude about life, especially when I was complaining. To me, there is no comfort that can compare to the privilege of being able to sit down for 30 minutes to write about whatever is going on inside. This writing practice has made me my own best friend. It has shown me that I have infinite amounts of strength and humor if I look for it, and that I deserve all of all of good things that happen to me once I make the decision to get out of my own way. So I just do it. I wake up and write until I feel clear. Then I close my notebook and make a bowl of oatmeal and enjoy my day.
5.投靠自己。我發(fā)現(xiàn)最不可思議的實(shí)踐行為是每天早上寫半小時(shí)的隨筆。我是從《the Artists' Way》學(xué)到的(另一個(gè)激發(fā)你創(chuàng)造性能力的強(qiáng)大工具)。每天早晨寫隨筆的習(xí)慣我已經(jīng)堅(jiān)持了兩年多,它強(qiáng)烈地改變了我對(duì)生活的態(tài)度,尤其是我在抱怨的時(shí)候?,F(xiàn)在對(duì)我來說,沒有任何事比每天早晨花半小時(shí)抒發(fā)內(nèi)心情緒更能讓我內(nèi)心舒適從容的了,它已經(jīng)成為我最好的知己。它讓我了解到自己體內(nèi)原來有那么強(qiáng)大的力量和那么多的幽默細(xì)胞可以去挖掘,同時(shí),它也讓我領(lǐng)悟到,一旦我決定走自己的路,我值得擁有所有美好的事物。因此我一直堅(jiān)持這個(gè)實(shí)踐,每天清晨醒來寫作,靜靜看著文字流淌在筆間,直到內(nèi)心情緒變得清晰明確,就合上筆記本,喝一碗燕麥享受全新的一天。