Do you have a big goal for the next year – or perhaps a three-year or five-year plan? You might have a whole bunch of goals, even if you don't call them that – perhaps ranging through things like:
新的一年即將來臨，你有什么偉大的計劃沒？或是“三年飛躍”、“五年計劃”之類的規(guī)劃？你可能有著一大籮筐的目標(biāo)等著實現(xiàn)，雖然你壓根兒沒有把它們當(dāng)回事兒。

Lose weight 減肥
Make lots of money 賺錢
Get a promotion 升職
Study for a new qualification 進修

Stop reading for a moment, and think about some of the goals that are currently lodged in your mind – they might be things you've told yourself you "should" do, but you've not made much progress on them. You may want to write them down.
停！想一想，你現(xiàn)在腦子里忽閃而過的目標(biāo)有哪些？這些目標(biāo)也許你到目前為止還沒什么進展可言，但你始終這樣告戒自己：這些都是我“應(yīng)該”要去實現(xiàn)的目標(biāo)。不妨把它們寫下來看看吧。

Whose goals are these?
這些目標(biāo)究竟是誰的呀？

Perhaps that seems like a stupid question: obviously, they're your goals ... aren't they?
這么問也許聽上去很可笑是吧？你的目標(biāo)很明顯是“你的”嘛！果真如此嗎？

Unfortunately, there's a fair chance that some of "your" goals aren't really yours at all. They might belong to your parents, your friends, or even your society as a whole.
很遺憾地告訴你，事實很可能是這樣的：“你的”有些雄心壯志并非出自你本人的真實意愿。它們或是來自你的父母、親朋好友，或是源于社會大環(huán)境對你的影響。

Here's how other people's goals can become yours – and why you want to take control again.
以下就將告訴你別人的“雄心壯志”何以搖身一變成了你自己的，而你又為何心甘情愿地“被雄心壯志”。

1: Your Parents' (or Family's) Goals
目標(biāo)來源之一：你的父母或家庭

Naturally enough, parents often have big hopes and dreams for their kids. They may have struggled through hardship and made sacrifices in order to support their children – and they might have ideas about what constitutes a "good" career or a valuable life.
父母通?？偸峭映升?、望女成鳳的，這也不難理解。為了支持自己的孩子上進，父母往往不辭辛苦，甚至不惜作出犧牲，只求孩子有出息。在父母的頭腦中，也許早已為孩子勾勒出了一幅事業(yè)成功、生活美滿的理想藍圖。

Parents (or other relatives) may impose goals by:
父母（或其他親戚）可能通過以下這些方式把“人生目標(biāo)”強加給孩子：

Insisting that a particular activity isn't worth pursuing because "there's no money in it" – perhaps art, writing or music
堅持認(rèn)為諸如藝術(shù)、寫作、音樂之類的職業(yè)是不值得作為人生目標(biāo)去追求的，因為這類職業(yè)往往毫無“錢”途可言。

Focusing on certain qualifications and career paths – perhaps wanting their children to become doctors or lawyers
鎖定一些特定的具有專業(yè)發(fā)展的職業(yè)推薦給自己的孩子——例如，父母會希望孩子將來成為一名醫(yī)生或律師。

Encouraging a particular type of lifestyle by criticizing behavior that they consider "wrong"
通過鄙視或批評一些他們認(rèn)為“錯誤”的行為，進而推崇另一種他們認(rèn)可的生活方式。

Talking about the success of certain family members in terms of career, wealth, marriage, etc...
大力贊揚家族成員中那些在事業(yè)、財富、婚姻等方面卓有成就的人。

How to Change: Spend some time digging deep into your own goals. What do you really want for yourself? If you're pursuing a degree or career that you dislike, don't be afraid to change to something new. Your family may well turn out to be more supportive than you expect.
應(yīng)對攻略：花一些時間，深究一下你真正想要實現(xiàn)的人生目標(biāo)是什么。如果你現(xiàn)在正在攻讀的學(xué)位或從事的行業(yè)并非你的心儀之選，那么就勇敢地去選擇“新歡”吧。你的家人很可能比你想象中更樂于支持你的改變。

2: Your Friends' Goals
目標(biāo)來源之二：你的親朋好友

Among groups of friends, it's common for particular traits to spread. For instance, if your friends are all overweight, there's a good chance that you'll be overweight too.
物以類聚，人以群分。某些特點很可能會成為某一類群體中多數(shù)人共有的特質(zhì)。例如：如果你周圍的朋友都超重，那么你患肥胖的幾率就會很大。

One recent and dismaying example of this trend is for breast enhancements, with women feeling pressured into following their friends into having surgery.
最近已有調(diào)查顯示，這種“同化效應(yīng)”在隆胸一族中尤為盛行，這多少讓人有些無奈。女人們往往頂不住壓力，紛紛加入到同伴的行列之中，挺進了外科手術(shù)室。

Your friends might not talk about their goals as such. But they probably have a set of things that they value – and it may be hard for you to identify your own values. For instance, if you work with colleagues who just care about the paycheck, you might find it tough to stick to what's important to you: doing a good job and playing a valuable role in society.
你的朋友也許很少會特別提及自己的生活目標(biāo)，但一定有一些事情是他們認(rèn)為非常重要的。而對你來說，要識別出哪些事是對你有意義的有時并非易事。舉例來說，如果你與一群只介意薪水高低的同事共事，那么你會發(fā)現(xiàn)，要堅持你個體的價值取向：從事一份體面的工作或做一些對社會有意義的事，是相當(dāng)困難的。

How to Change: Consider joining a group or club that relates to one (or more) of your goals. For instance, if you're starting up your own business but all your friends are traditionally-employed, you could look for small business networking opportunities in your area.
應(yīng)對攻略：選擇一個與你的某一個（或一些）價值觀一致的群體加入。打比方說，你若正處于白手起家的創(chuàng)業(yè)階段，而你身邊所有的朋友都過著傳統(tǒng)的打工生活，那么建議你通過網(wǎng)絡(luò)尋找一些與你步調(diào)一致的知音分享創(chuàng)業(yè)過程的各種滋味。

3: Your Society's Goals
目標(biāo)來源之三：社會影響

Family and friends aren't the only people whose goals you might have unwittingly adopted. Society as a whole can impose certain goals on you – ones that may not be what you want at all.
家庭和朋友并不是唯一讓你稀里糊涂地認(rèn)同某些人生目標(biāo)的因素。你所生活的社會也會在無形中“施加”給你某些目標(biāo)，盡管這些目標(biāo)很可能實非你所愿。

Big companies have an interest in making sure you think of certain things as important or even essential. They encourage you to adopt goals that mean purchasing their products. For instance, you might end up buying gym membership or diet products because you feel like you "should" get in shape – even though you're already pretty healthy.
大公司常常注重于同化消費者認(rèn)同他們的一些理念。他們往往會鼓動消費者接受一些“目標(biāo)”，而要實現(xiàn)這些“目標(biāo)”即意味著要購買他們的產(chǎn)品。例如：因為感到自己“應(yīng)該”保持體形，你于是去購買健身卡或膳食保健品，可事實上你明明健康美麗，根本無需這些產(chǎn)品。

If you find yourself thinking that's just the way it is or everyone knows that, try questioning your assumptions.
如果有一天，當(dāng)你發(fā)現(xiàn)這不過是人盡皆知的營銷把戲，那么你很有必要質(zhì)疑一下自己最初的想法了。

Is it really better to buy a house, or would you be just as happy renting?
買房一定比租房更好么？

Will that new gadget/TV/game really enhance your life?
那個新到手的小玩意兒真的可以提升你的生活質(zhì)量么？

Do you need a new car?
你是否真的需要一輛新車？

Do you and your spouse really want to have a pricey meal out on Valentines' day, or are you both just doing it because you feel like you should?
情人節(jié)當(dāng)天，與愛侶一起外出共享一頓豪華晚餐究竟是出于甜蜜的愿望，還是你們都覺得只不過“應(yīng)該”那么做而已呢？

Some of society's goals and priorities might well be in tune with your own. Others won't.
有些社會價值觀或潮流取向是與你的生活目標(biāo)合拍的，而另一些并非如此。

How to Change: Don't be afraid to be different! There are plenty of ways you can challenge the assumptions of society – that might mean living frugally, homeschooling your kids, avoiding designer labels, or whatever else you want to do.
應(yīng)對攻略：別害怕成為“另類”！如果你發(fā)現(xiàn)自己并不認(rèn)同某些社會慣例做法，你完全可以用自己的方式去生活。勤勞節(jié)儉地生活、在家個性化育兒、拒絕做名牌的奴隸，不怕做不到，就怕你想不到。

You only have one life to live: your own. Don't waste years of it chasing other people's goals. Take the time to decide what you want, and go after it wholeheartedly.
生活是你“自己”的。不要辛苦了大半輩子結(jié)果卻是在追求別人的人生目標(biāo)。明確你究竟想要什么樣的生活，然后全身心地在自己的跑道上行路去吧。