美文
Take a Loving Look How we see our partners often depends more on how we are than how they are.Husbands and wives are not audience, but participant observers in each other's lives. "Before we were married, my husband was a caring, energetic man," a wife once told me. "He couldn't seem to keep his hands off me. Since we've been married, he's become a couch potato and watches ball games more than he watches me. He's gone from stud to spud." "Very funny," answered the husband. "But have you looked at yourself lately? When we got married, you were beautiful. Now you wear that old robe. If I've gone from stud to spud, then you've gone from doll to drudge." This hurtful, infantile argument illustrates how spouses, instead of looking for love, may look for flaws. It is a way of seeing. Author Judith Viorst once wrote,"Infatuation is when you think he's as gorgeous as Robert Redford, as pure as Solzhenitsyn, as funny as Woody Allen, as athletic as Jimmy Connors, and as smart as Albert Einstein. Love is when you realize he's as gorgeous as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Connors, as funny as Solzhenitsyn, as athletic as Albert Einstenin, and nothing like Robert Redford in any category--but you'll take him anyway." This law of lasting love instructs us to look with instead of for love
愛的眼神 我們怎樣看自己的伴侶常常取決于我們自己怎么樣，而不是對方怎么樣。丈夫也好，妻子也好，都不是觀眾，而是深入到對方生活的觀察者。 一個妻子曾對我說：“結(jié)婚前，我丈夫是一個關(guān)心體貼、精力充沛的人，他的手好像沒法從我身上移開。結(jié)婚后，他變成了一個懶蛋，看球賽比看我還多。他從猛男變成了‘懶蛋’?！? “真逗，”她丈夫回答道，“不過最近你有沒有瞧瞧你自己是啥模樣？我們結(jié)婚前，你很漂亮?，F(xiàn)在你穿的是破舊的睡袍。如果說我從猛男變成了懶蛋，那你就是從美女變成苦工?！? 這種互相傷害又帶有孩子氣的爭吵清楚地說明夫妻如何互相挑毛病，而不是尋找愛。這是一個看問題的方法問題。 作家朱迪斯·厄斯特曾寫道：“當你覺得他像羅伯特·雷德福一樣儀表堂堂，像索爾仁尼琴一樣心地純潔，像伍迪·艾倫一樣言談風趣，像吉米·康納斯一樣身體矯健，像阿爾伯特·愛因斯坦一樣頭腦聰明，那你就被愛沖昏了頭腦。當你認識到他在長相方面像伍迪·艾倫，頭腦方面像吉米·康納斯，言談方面像索爾仁尼琴，身體方面像阿爾伯特·愛因斯坦，無論在哪一方面都不像羅伯特·雷德?！銋s偏偏要嫁給他，這才是真正的愛?！? 持久愛情的這一法則教導我們要用充滿愛意的眼神去看自己的伴侶，而不是用尋找愛的眼神去看他（她）們。