1. eating band

Hostels are great places to cultivate friendships and share your experiences abroad. It's just a shame you can't always choose your neighbors. Meet the 8 people you never want to find sleeping above or below your bed.
青年旅館是個(gè)培養(yǎng)友誼和分享經(jīng)歷的好地方，只有一點(diǎn)很遺憾，你沒(méi)法選擇你的鄰居或室友。為你介紹八種最難搞的旅館室友，相信我，你絕對(duì)不會(huì)想要跟他們同處一室甚至住上下床鋪的：

1.The one-man eating band
一個(gè)吃貨的協(xié)奏曲

If it doesn't crunch or crinkle, he won't eat it.
不能發(fā)出嘎吱作響或者沙沙聲兒的食物他是不會(huì)吃的。

How to identify: He dines on only the most pungent, debris-yielding, noisily packaged foodstuffs ... at all times. His bunk is no more a sleeping quarters than an ogre's lair of gnashed pork byproducts and discarded nut husks.
識(shí)別雷達(dá)：他從來(lái)只吃那種味道最辛辣、會(huì)產(chǎn)生碎屑和噪音的包裝食品。他的床鋪已經(jīng)不是睡覺(jué)的地方的了，簡(jiǎn)直就是食人魔的老窩：滿是咬過(guò)的豬肉副產(chǎn)品和四處亂丟的果殼。

Reason to hate: Once the crumbs fall from his beard and bounce off his shirt, they inevitably land on the floor, inviting exotic foreign insects to crawl under your skin at night.
為嘛招人嫌：那些面包屑從他的胡子上掉下來(lái)或者從衣服上彈下來(lái)，就肯定會(huì)落到地板上，招來(lái)各種奇異的昆蟲(chóng)在半夜爬過(guò)你的皮膚。（雞皮疙瘩都起來(lái)了）

2. top-bunk bladder

2.The top-bunk bladder
住在上鋪永遠(yuǎn)尿急的人

At least he waits till he gets down to do it.
你已經(jīng)很幸運(yùn)啦，至少他沒(méi)在上鋪直接解決吧！

How to identify: Up and down that bunk ladder like he’s on night duty, this leaky faucet can't remain still for more than 90 seconds before having to clamber back down from his bunk in the noisiest fashion possible for a 29th trip to the bathroom.
識(shí)別雷達(dá)：不停上上下下，這種人就跟在值夜班一樣，堅(jiān)持不到90秒，又從上鋪爬下來(lái)第29次上廁所，而且爬下來(lái)的聲音真的太吵了。

Reason to hate: Right when you’re dozing off, he uses your bed as a step, crushing your left arm.
為嘛招人嫌：你在打盹的時(shí)候，他拿你的床當(dāng)臺(tái)階下，正好踩到你的左胳膊。

3. personal hygienist

3.The personal hygienist
私人修剪師

"Clip, clip, clip." The most subtle horror movie soundtrack ever conceived.
“剪，剪，剪”，完全是你能想到的最細(xì)微的恐怖電影配音。

How to identify: He's got an inexhaustible supply of uncut toe- and fingernails, and the world is his day spa.
識(shí)別雷達(dá)：他的手腳指甲似乎在沒(méi)日沒(méi)夜不知疲倦的長(zhǎng)著，全世界都是他的美容中心。

Reason to hate: You'd rather be caught in the teeth of a Sarlacc pit than roll onto one of his sharp discarded nails, but you do, anyway. And it’s even grosser than you thought.
為嘛招人嫌：被怪獸薩拉克吃了也比翻身的時(shí)候發(fā)現(xiàn)床上有他丟掉的尖指甲好，絕對(duì)比你想得還要惡心。

4. cameron sandiego

4. Carmen Sandiego
怪盜卡門(mén)（小編注：同名角色扮演冒險(xiǎn)偵探游戲）

"So weird, I was on a yacht in Capri then my old roommate from Belgium brought me the book I left in my Cape Town hotel."
“太奇怪了，當(dāng)時(shí)我正在意大利卡普里島的游艇上，然后以前在比利時(shí)住一起的室友就把我落在開(kāi)普敦酒店的書(shū)帶給我了！”

How to identify: She will identify you. As someone who cares.
識(shí)別雷達(dá)：她會(huì)認(rèn)出你的，只要她對(duì)你感興趣。

She has been to every corner of the earth and will casually mention to you and everyone within earshot how well traveled she is. She will undoubtedly brag about Nepal or Myanmar, as Carmen Sandiegos think these Buddhist destinations make them more enlightened than you.
她足跡踏遍地球上每個(gè)角落，會(huì)很隨意地向你和所有聽(tīng)得到的人提及她的超精彩的旅行。她絕對(duì)會(huì)吹噓去過(guò)尼泊爾和緬甸，因?yàn)楣直I卡門(mén)們覺(jué)得這些佛教圣地讓他們看起來(lái)比你更聰慧。

Reasons to hate: Despite saving every penny you’ve ever earned, you’ve never been or never will be in any of the places she mentions because your mother does not work for Cathay Pacific.
為嘛招人嫌：不管你怎么省吃儉用，你也沒(méi)去過(guò)她提到的這些地方，將來(lái)也去不成，誰(shuí)讓你媽媽不在國(guó)泰航空上班呢。

5. clinger

5. The Stage 5 clinger
粘人蟲(chóng)

Drinking games? How about hide-and-go-seek?
劃酒拳？要不我們捉迷藏吧！

How to identify: The clinger will find any reason, any reason at all, to break the ice and never let it melt. “Is that a Timex watch? I had one in college, when I was studying international business. Now I’m a trader, what do you do?”
識(shí)別雷達(dá)：這種人會(huì)找到任何理由打破沉默，不過(guò)她（他）們也有本事讓你永遠(yuǎn)沒(méi)法喜歡：“你帶的是天美時(shí)手表吧？我大學(xué)的時(shí)候也有一塊。我大學(xué)讀的是國(guó)際貿(mào)易。我現(xiàn)在是個(gè)商人，你是做什么工作的？”

Reason to hate: You can’t escape the clinger. Once they've got you talking, they will never leave your side. They will assume all activities, cooking, sightseeing, laundering, will be done together.
為嘛招人嫌：這種人你逃不開(kāi)呀，一旦他們開(kāi)始跟你說(shuō)話，他們就絕不會(huì)把你晾到一邊的，他們會(huì)設(shè)想所有的事：做飯，觀賞風(fēng)景，洗衣服，都要和你一起做，你跑不掉的。

Stage five clinger: 美國(guó)俚語(yǔ)，指很容易被別人吸引的人，情感比較脆弱很需要關(guān)注，出自電影《婚禮傲客》（Wedding Crashers）。

6. musician

6. The musician
音樂(lè)家

Don't worry, YouTube will eliminate the guitar guy in a matter of years.
別擔(dān)心，有了視頻網(wǎng)站，近些年彈吉他的家伙可能要被淘汰了。

How to identify: Will have an instrument at all times. It will probably be a guitar or, God help us all, a bamboo flute. You will find him in the common room, your room, dining room and bathroom.
識(shí)別雷達(dá)：走到哪兒都隨身帶著樂(lè)器，可能是吉他或是竹笛（上帝幫幫我們吧?。?。哪兒都有他：公共休息室，你的房間，餐廳，浴室，簡(jiǎn)直無(wú)孔不入。

Reason to hate: The cringe-inducing, emotional close-eyed singing face. Nothing is more uncomfortable than when a total stranger’s underlying emotion surfaces through song.
為嘛招人嫌：討厭那張猥瑣的自我陶醉的臉和情到深處閉著眼睛唱歌的樣子。沒(méi)有比聽(tīng)著一個(gè)陌生人唱歌表達(dá)他內(nèi)心深處隱藏的感情更讓人覺(jué)得不舒服的事兒了。

7. couple

7. The couple
情侶一對(duì)

"I love you, but don't you ever EVER lend some tramp our toothpaste again."
“我愛(ài)你，不過(guò)你可別在把我們的牙膏借給那些流浪漢了！”（畫(huà)外音：你才是流浪漢呢?。?/div>

How to identify: They eat together, sleep together and launder together, but don’t socialize with anyone else to prevent any jealous fights while traveling.
識(shí)別雷達(dá)：他們一起吃飯，一起睡覺(jué)，一起洗衣服，不跟其他任何人交往，似乎是要杜絕旅途中的任何吃醋戰(zhàn)。

Reason to hate: They skip social gatherings to stay in their bunk watching YouTube videos of cats.
為嘛招人嫌：他們不參加任何聯(lián)誼會(huì)，就窩在他們的床鋪上一起看貓咪的視頻。

8. switchboard

8. The switchboard
電話總機(jī)小姐

"It was horrible, Mom, everything in the cafeteria was deep-fried."
“媽媽太恐怖了，餐廳里所有的吃的都是油炸的?！?/div>

How to identify: With no regard whatsoever for anyone else in the room, the switchboard will yap and dramatically coo to loved ones over the phone, describing everything from her breakfast to her bowel movements.
識(shí)別雷達(dá)：他們不在乎房間里其他任何人的感受，一直哇啦哇啦不停在電話里向家人或者男朋友抱怨，從早餐說(shuō)到上廁所，事無(wú)巨細(xì)。

Reason to hate: She keeps you up all night. The bags under your eyes make you look like a drug dealer resulting in a full-cavity search at the airport the next day.
為嘛招人嫌：她吵得你一整晚睡不著，早上你的眼袋會(huì)讓你看起來(lái)像個(gè)毒販一樣，到時(shí)候到了機(jī)場(chǎng)，少不了要被全身檢查。