She did not dump me. It was a mutual break-up, ok?Shut up!
她沒有拋棄我，這是一次對等的分手好嗎？閉嘴！

Have you ever been so completely in love with your girlfriend that you just knew you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her? Me neither. So I'm gonna tell you how to dump that bitch.
你有過如此深愛著你的女友以致你想要跟她共度余生嗎？我也沒有。所以我將告訴你怎樣甩掉她。

?

?
貶低她的穿著風格

How do I look?
我看上去怎么樣

You look like a cow.
你看上去像頭奶牛

Well, fuck you! Asshole!
混蛋！

Great!
棒極了！

?

2.Play World of Warcraft
?
玩魔獸世界

Let tanks get aggro before you start DPS. What? NO! Don't stand in the fire. Go! OK. Oh God damn it! I need a healer up here.
在啟動DPS前先啟動坦克。什么，哦，不。不要呆在火里！上！好的。哦，該死！我這需要治療。

What're you doing?
你在做什么

Shut the fuck up! I'm raiding.
閉嘴，我在襲擊

Wow!
哦天哪！

3.Cheat on her
劈腿吧

Hi, free for dinner?
嗨，有空吃晚餐嗎？

No, sorry. I'm busy tonight. Oh, Anthony, I love you so much. I love you too, new girlfriend. Yeah, so super busy tonight. Oh, come over here. Let me give you a blow torch.
不，抱歉，我今晚很忙。喔，Anthony，我很愛你。我也愛你，新女友。是，今晚實在太忙了。來這兒，我把噴燈給你。

Busted
當場抓?。?/div>

4.Do an over texted message
傳分手短信

You wanna break cups with me?
你要跟我“摔杯子”？

Damn you auto-correct!
該死的自動更正！

5.Always mention your ex
總是提起你的前任

You like that?
你喜歡這嗎？

Brandy did it better, but whatever.
Brandy做得更好，不過，無所謂啦。

You know I never leaned how to tie a double knot.
你知道我從沒學過系雙結

Shoe noob.
鞋帶小白

6.Act like a five-year-old
表現得幼稚

Alright, I get the jokes. Stop it.
好吧，我聽懂這個笑話了，不要再說了

Alright, I get the jokes. Stop it.
好吧，我聽懂這個笑話了，不要再說了

I mean it!
我是認真的！

I mean it!
我是認真的！

My name is Anthony. I'm a douche.
我叫Anthony，我是個白癡

My name is Anthony. I'm a douche.
我叫Anthony，我是個白癡

Oh my God! I can't take this anymore!
哦我的天哪！我受夠了！

Copy this, you son of bitch!
照做吧，你這混蛋

Suicide bonus.
意想不到的收獲。

?

7.Fake a pregnancy scare
?
制造懷孕的恐慌

The condom broke.
這避孕套破了。

Wait. We've never had sex.
等等，我們從沒有過性行為

Then explain why I'm pregnant.
那么解釋一下為什么我懷孕了

Congratulations.
恭喜

8.Never talk to her again.
不再理她

Anthony, hi.
Anthony，嗨

Oh, hey. This is my wife Maggie.
嘿，這是我妻子Maggie

Wait. What do you mean wife?I'm still your girlfriend
等等，你的意思是妻子？我還只是你女朋友。

I thought completely ignoring you made it pretty obvious.
我想，完全無視你，這已經很明顯了。

I've been waiting for ten years! Dick!
我等了你10年！Dick!

Ruined a life.
毀了別人的一生

9.Fake your own death
裝死

Why?
為什么

Because you are a bitch.
因為你是混蛋

Wait. What?
等等，什么？

Sometimes the dead can send a message from beyond. You have beautiful eyes.
有時候死者可以從遠方傳來信息。你的眼睛真美

What the hell!
這是怎么了！

Sloppy seconds.
混亂的關系！

10.If all those fails, be honest with her.
如果這些都失敗了，對她實話實說吧

I just don't think things are working out. I just think we should break up
我不認為我們的關系會有進展。我想，我們該分手了。

Yeah. I don't think that's a good idea.
是。我不認為這是個好主意。

Why?
為什么

My daddy is a cop.
我父親是一名警察

Stop right there. You are a great guy and have a stable job. Don't break up with her!
站在那兒別動！你是個不錯的人并且有穩(wěn)定的工作。不要和她分手！

I'm sorry. I just don't love her anymore.
我很抱歉，我只是不愛她了

Finger bangs
手指開槍