1. Why Do People Do Long-Distance?
1.人們?yōu)槭裁串惖貞伲?/strong>

Rarely do people ever get themselves into long-distance relationships on purpose. Typically, what ends up happening is that couples become victim of circumstance. Another way that long-distance relationships get facilitated is when one person ends up spending a lot of time in a different state or city for either work or leisure, and forms a connection with someone there. However, there are cases where both parties know that distance will be a factor they have to deal with before starting the relationship.
很少有人特意要開(kāi)始異地戀，比較典型的原因是情侶受情況所迫，另外一個(gè)導(dǎo)致異地戀的原因是一個(gè)人因工作需要或休閑在其他州或城市待的時(shí)間比較長(zhǎng)，與當(dāng)?shù)厝税l(fā)展了戀情。然而還有一些是雙方在開(kāi)始戀愛(ài)之前就清楚距離將是他們要面臨的一個(gè)問(wèn)題。

As for how these situations differ in the way these relationships are carried out, it has to do with how long the distance is set to last.
不同的異地戀情況與異地戀情要持續(xù)多久有關(guān)。

What Real Women Say: "We met on a dating site, " says Eileen, 41. "He was from Maine, an eight hour car ride away. We only lasted a year the first time. The distance was too much and too expensive to maintain. About a year and a half later we tried it again. This time we were more conscious of what's involved. Staying consistent helps. Have dates over the phone, watching the same movie together. See each other as often as you can. Surprising each other with a card or something in the mail or flowers at work is a great way to keep the romance."
異地戀女性親身體會(huì)：41歲的Eileen說(shuō)：“我們是在交友網(wǎng)站上認(rèn)識(shí)的，他來(lái)自緬因州，開(kāi)車(chē)要走8個(gè)小時(shí)。第一次我們的戀情只持續(xù)了1年，距離太遠(yuǎn)，戀愛(ài)成本太高。大約1年半以后我們復(fù)合了，這一次我們更清楚要面對(duì)什么。步調(diào)一致對(duì)戀愛(ài)很有幫助，可以通過(guò)電話約會(huì)，一起看同一部電影，盡可能多見(jiàn)面。給對(duì)方驚喜也是保持浪漫的好方法，比如送卡片、郵東西或工作時(shí)送花。”

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2. Can Your Relationship Handle Long-Distance?
2.你們能承受異地戀嗎？

Long-distance relationships have a shelf life, and the key factor that makes this type of arrangement work is having an end goal or date in mind when it will be possible for the two of you to be in the same place together. "Long-distance relationships were meant to be temporary," says Darné. Another factor that has a tremendous impact on whether or not a relationship will be able to handle long distance is the maturity of both parties involved. You also have to be strong enough to resist temptation, which is typically more difficult that people think, and have tremendous trust in your partner.
異地戀有保質(zhì)期，實(shí)現(xiàn)異地戀的關(guān)鍵在于心里要有一個(gè)你們最終能團(tuán)聚的終極目標(biāo)或期限. Darné說(shuō)：“異地戀應(yīng)該是暫時(shí)的?！绷硗庖粋€(gè)影響異地戀能否持久的因素就是雙方有多成熟。你也要足夠堅(jiān)強(qiáng)能抵抗誘惑，這顯然比人們想的要難，而且你對(duì)對(duì)方要有絕對(duì)的信任。

What Real Women Say: "In the beginning, the hardest part was just missing each other," says Helena, 31. "As time went on, what became hard for me was him making new friends and becoming a part of a new clique that I didn't quite fit into. If you're going to try long distance, know that your relationship is going to change. Hopefully you'll be able to evolve together instead of letting the distance push you apart. "
異地戀女性親身體會(huì)：31歲的Helena說(shuō)：“一開(kāi)始最難的是彼此思念，后來(lái)對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)很難接受的是他交了新朋友并且有了新的交際圈，而我融入不進(jìn)去。如果你要嘗試異地戀，你要知道你們的關(guān)系會(huì)發(fā)生變化，但你們也有希望能共同克服，而不是被距離拆散。”

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