In a 2017 CareerBuilder survey, 41 percent of workers ’ fessed up to dating a co-worker, and 30 percent of those relationships led to marriage. Regardless of how common it is, asking your work crush out on a date requires a lot of tact, especially with all the workplace sexual harassment scandals that have unfolded over the last year.
“凱業(yè)必達(dá)”調(diào)查公司公布的2017調(diào)查顯示，有41%的上班族曾經(jīng)爽快地答應(yīng)過(guò)同事的約會(huì)請(qǐng)求，而他們其中有30%的人最終走進(jìn)了婚姻的殿堂。不過(guò)，不管這是多么常見(jiàn)的現(xiàn)象，想要請(qǐng)求你心儀的同事約會(huì)還需具備豐富的社交手段，特別在應(yīng)對(duì)那些沒(méi)有曝光的職場(chǎng)性騷擾的丑聞的時(shí)候。

How do you go about it without being a creep? Below, human resources and dating experts share six things to keep in mind before asking someone out at work.
那怎么做才不會(huì)讓自己看起來(lái)像一個(gè)怪咖？下面我們的人力資源及約會(huì)專家給大家分享六個(gè)小貼士，請(qǐng)謹(jǐn)記在心，在約會(huì)同事外出的時(shí)候就可以用得上了。

1. Check what HR policies are in place.
1. 適時(shí)核查公司的人事政策。

Your workplace is just that: a workplace, not a bar or a dating app for download. None of the HR experts we spoke to encouraged actively looking for love at the office, but they acknowledged it happens. And while it’s less common for businesses to enforce or even have a non-fraternization policy, it’s still important to determine if your company has one, said Teresa Marzolph, founder of Culture Engineered, a human capital consulting firm in Phoenix.
你所在的職場(chǎng)就是這樣的了：是工作的地方，而不是酒吧或一個(gè)可供下載的約會(huì)應(yīng)用軟件。我們約談過(guò)的HR專家都不鼓勵(lì)員工在辦公室找另一半，不過(guò)他們也不否認(rèn)有這種事情發(fā)生。雖然對(duì)于工商企業(yè)來(lái)說(shuō)一般不會(huì)實(shí)施甚至運(yùn)行一套不親民的政策，但你也很有必要去確定公司是否有這樣的政策。Teresa Marzolph說(shuō)道。Teresa是Culture Engineered的創(chuàng)始人，而這所公司是美國(guó)菲尼克斯州的一家人力資源咨詢事務(wù)所。

“The few policies still in existence often focus on relationships that put the company at risk, such as a romantic relationship between a manager and their employee, or one that runs contrary to the checks and balances that exist within the company ― like quality assurance and customer service or finance and sales,” Marzolph told HuffPost.
“很少有現(xiàn)存的政策會(huì)關(guān)注那些容易讓公司陷入危機(jī)的人際關(guān)系，比如管理者與他們的員工之間的情人關(guān)系，或者是違背公司部門(mén)之間相互制衡的關(guān)系——例如品質(zhì)保證與客戶服務(wù)或者是財(cái)務(wù)與銷(xiāo)售，”Marzolph在接受赫芬頓網(wǎng)站訪問(wèn)的時(shí)候說(shuō)道。

If no guidelines exist, Marzolph recommends gauging the workplace culture around you: Have you heard of other office relationships developing in the past? Does the company encourage after-hours camaraderie among the staff?
如果沒(méi)有現(xiàn)存的公司指引，Marzolph則建議員工去評(píng)估所處的職場(chǎng)文化：你是否曾經(jīng)聽(tīng)說(shuō)過(guò)其他的辦公室戀情？公司是否鼓勵(lì)員工之間建立下班后的友情？

“A company that sponsors or hosts non-work events and activities may be an example of a culture that’s much more tolerant or even supportive of relationships in the workplace,” Marzolph said.
“如果一家公司贊助或主辦工作以外的活動(dòng)，也許這就能證明這家公司的公司文化更能包容甚至支持辦公室戀情。”Marzolph說(shuō)道。

2. Be friends first.
2. 先從朋友開(kāi)始。

Avoid going from zero to 100 by establishing a friendship first, said Lynn Taylor, a workplace expert and author of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior & Thrive in Your Job. This way, you’ll find out early on whether you have anything in common besides mutual disgust of your boss’ Tupperware lunches.
要避免從零到一百的長(zhǎng)遠(yuǎn)路程，那就先從朋友開(kāi)始吧，Lynn Taylor表示。她是一位職場(chǎng)專家，也是《馴服可怕的辦公室暴君：如何對(duì)付孩子氣的老板行為，蓄力發(fā)展》的作者。這樣做的話，你很快就能發(fā)現(xiàn)，你們之間除了討厭老板的便利店午餐之外，還有哪些相似之處。

“Establish a foundation and find out if you’re compatible, personality-wise,” Taylor said. “Then, take cues. Gauge your next actions off the responses you generally receive from the person.”
“打好基礎(chǔ)，看看你們能否友好相處，個(gè)性相似。”Taylor說(shuō)道。“然后，尋找線索?；谀銖膶?duì)方的反應(yīng)所得到的信息，評(píng)估下一步行動(dòng)。”

3. Suggest getting coffee.
3. 咖啡之約。

Take some of the stress out of the situation by suggesting a casual location for your date, said Neely Steinberg, a dating coach and image consultant.
在一個(gè)休閑場(chǎng)所約會(huì)，可以減少一些壓力，Neely Steinberg表示，她是一位約會(huì)教練及形象顧問(wèn)。

“Coffee is usually a good suggestion because it’s low key and really, who doesn’t like coffee?” Steinberg said. “Plus, it may be perceived as a friend thing as opposed to an actual ‘date.’ If you’re not getting a good romantic vibe, you can always just chalk it up to a friendly co-worker coffee.”
“去喝杯咖啡通常都是很不錯(cuò)的建議，因?yàn)楹瓤Х仁呛艿驼{(diào)的，并且誰(shuí)不喜歡咖啡呢？”Steinberg說(shuō)道。“再者，這個(gè)舉措可能會(huì)被視為朋友之間的活動(dòng)而不是一次真正意義上的‘約會(huì)’。如果你們沒(méi)有衍生浪漫的氛圍，你還是可以把這視為一次友好的同事咖啡之約?！?/div>

4. When you do ask, don’t make it weird.
4. 如果你真的要提出來(lái)了，不要讓它看起來(lái)很別扭。

In the past 12 years Marzolph has worked in human resources, sexual harassment complaints have almost always been about how someone went about asking, not the fact that they had asked.
在過(guò)去的12年，Marzolph都在人力資源這一行里工作，而性騷擾的投訴常常都發(fā)生在某個(gè)人詢問(wèn)對(duì)方的方式，而不是他們?cè)儐?wèn)的事實(shí)。

“The common theme is that the interaction left one person feeling uncomfortable,” she told us. “Whether intended or not, most filing a claim or complaint describe the pursuing employee’s approach as awkward or inappropriate.”
“常見(jiàn)的問(wèn)題就在于兩個(gè)人之間的互動(dòng)會(huì)讓其中一個(gè)人感到不適，”她表示?！安还苣闶枪室獾倪€是不是故意的，大多數(shù)人提出索賠或投訴都表示追求者的方式是令人尷尬或不合適的?！?/div>

To avoid becoming an office-wide pariah, be mindful of your surroundings and your body language when floating the idea of a date, Marzolph said.
為了避免當(dāng)一個(gè)全公司都知道的過(guò)街老鼠，在你表達(dá)自己的約會(huì)請(qǐng)求的時(shí)候，請(qǐng)細(xì)心留意你所在的環(huán)境和你的肢體語(yǔ)言，Marzolph表示。

“Don’t come on too strong or corner the person, and ideally, approach them outside of work or in the communal area,” Marzolph said. “Try to keep your approach light; be ready to give the person an easy out if they’re not interested, so you both can continue working together without tension.”
“不要表現(xiàn)得太強(qiáng)勢(shì)，也不要攔住對(duì)方，理想情況下應(yīng)該在工作或通勤區(qū)以外的地方接近他們，”Marzolph建議?！罢?qǐng)記得方法要輕巧，因?yàn)槿绻麑?duì)方不感興趣的話，你要準(zhǔn)備一個(gè)下臺(tái)階，這樣做的話你們都能夠繼續(xù)一起工作也不會(huì)感到壓力。”

5. If they say ‘no,’ maintain professionalism throughout the experience.
5. 如果對(duì)方說(shuō)“不”，也要在這次經(jīng)歷中保持專業(yè)的態(tài)度。

Don’t take it personally if your crush is just not that into you, Taylor said.
Taylor表示，如果你的夢(mèng)中情人對(duì)你不感興趣，你也不要針對(duì)對(duì)方。

“If the person declines, remember that this is a risky proposition,” she explained. “Your co-worker might have otherwise said ‘yes’ if you hadn’t met at work. Many are averse to dating co-workers as a personal policy.”
“如果對(duì)方拒絕了你，請(qǐng)記住這是一次冒險(xiǎn)的請(qǐng)求?！彼忉尩馈！澳愕膯T工也有可能說(shuō)‘好’，如果你們是在工作以外的地方相遇。但是很多人都會(huì)出于個(gè)人原則拒絕與同事約會(huì)。”

6. If they say ‘yes,’ still maintain professionalism throughout the experience.
6. 如果對(duì)方說(shuō)“好”，你也要在這次經(jīng)歷中繼續(xù)保持專業(yè)的態(tài)度。

From the beginning, recognize that this is an imperfect dating situation. Asking a colleague out isn’t simply about two people getting together ― it almost always complicates the workplace dynamic, said S. Chris Edmonds, a human resources expert and founder of The Purposeful Culture Group.
從一開(kāi)始，你就要意識(shí)到這是一個(gè)不完美的約會(huì)情境。請(qǐng)求同事約會(huì)不僅僅是兩個(gè)人在一起的事情——還總會(huì)加大職場(chǎng)的波動(dòng)，Chris Edmonds表示。Edmonds是人力資源專家也是The Purposeful Culture Group的創(chuàng)始人。

“Luckily, some work relationships work out great,” Edmonds said. “I met the woman who became my wife at work and we’ve been married 38 years now. You just need to be diligent in keeping work separate from your outside relationship. PDA or arguing at work will only increase tension and discomfort by other team members and observers.”
“幸運(yùn)的是，有的辦公室戀情確實(shí)可以修成正果?！盓dmonds表示。“我在工作中遇到了一個(gè)女人，她成為了我的妻子，現(xiàn)在我們?cè)谝黄鹨呀?jīng)38年了。你們只需要努力地把工作從你們的關(guān)系中脫離開(kāi)來(lái)。秀恩愛(ài)或者在工作的時(shí)候吵架只會(huì)加重其他團(tuán)隊(duì)成員或旁觀者的緊張感和不安?！?/div>

Whatever happens, Edmonds recommends keeping your personal policy on interoffice romances as simple as possible.
不管發(fā)生了什么事情，Edmonds建議把你的關(guān)于辦公室戀情的個(gè)人原則保持得越簡(jiǎn)單越好。

“The overarching policy everyone in the office should embrace is ‘don’t taint the workplace,’” he said.
“每個(gè)人都應(yīng)該遵守的總的原則就在于‘不要污染了工作場(chǎng)所’?！彼ㄗh。

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