From the potato-loving Irish to the pretentious French, these tumblr users perfectly poke fun at their traditions, unmasking the cornerstones of their most beloved foods.
從熱愛土豆的愛爾蘭人到裝模作樣的法國(guó)人，這些社交網(wǎng)友用高超的技藝惡搞了一番自己國(guó)家的飲食文化，還對(duì)傳統(tǒng)美食的秘方進(jìn)行了揭秘。

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French recipes:?If you’re not making this in Paris then what’s the point.
法國(guó)料理：如果這道菜不是在巴黎做的，那就不是法國(guó)料理。

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Italian recipes:?use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of Tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house.
意大利料理：在托斯卡納這個(gè)地區(qū)的三個(gè)農(nóng)場(chǎng)中選一個(gè)，用農(nóng)場(chǎng)里飼養(yǎng)的豬的左前腿做菜，不然從今天開始我的祖母會(huì)在你家現(xiàn)身喲。

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American recipes:?buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan, congrats you cooked.
美國(guó)料理：這種罐頭來三個(gè)，一起放進(jìn)平底鍋里，恭喜你做好了！

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Chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child:?season it with a pinch of this and some of that. You want to know the exact amount? Feel it in your heart. Ask the stars. Yell into the?void.
中國(guó)料理，時(shí)代相傳的喲：這種作料少許，那種作料稍許，腌漬一下。你想知道確切的分量？用你的心感受一下。問一問星空。對(duì)深淵吶喊吧！

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Greek recipes:?You followed all the right steps but this isn’t quite right. I don’t know what to tell you.
希臘料理：你遵循了正確的步驟，但做出來的成果卻不對(duì)。我也不知道該說什么。

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Australian recipes:?Chuck it on the barbie.
澳大利亞料理：丟到烤架上烤一烤。

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Armenian recipes:?Spend eight days laboring over the stove, The food will be flavorful with the sacrifice of your?sanity. No one will appreciate it.
亞美尼亞料理：用整整八天的時(shí)間守在爐前精心烹飪，食物因你奉獻(xiàn)的辛勞而香味濃郁。但沒有人會(huì)欣賞你的勞動(dòng)成果。

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Canadian recipes:?it either needs more bacon, more maple syrup, more gravy, or an unholy combination of the three.
加拿大料理：這道菜要么還需要放點(diǎn)培根，要么還需要楓糖漿，或者肉汁，或者再放點(diǎn)這三種東西詭異的混合物。

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Filipino recipes:?Soy sauce and vinegar everywhere.
菲律賓料理：每道菜都要加醬油和醋。

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Welsh recipes:?You ought to make it with this obscure type of cheese which doesn’t exist any more but you can replace it with the other obscure type of cheese from the other side of the country.
愛爾蘭料理：你應(yīng)該用一種鮮為人知的特殊奶酪來做這道菜，但這種奶酪已經(jīng)沒有了，不過你可以用遠(yuǎn)在這個(gè)國(guó)家的另一邊出產(chǎn)的另一種鮮為人知的特殊奶酪作為替代。

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Slovenian recipes:?Go to the garden, get some weeds, then make a soup out of it.
斯羅維尼亞料理：走到花園里，拔點(diǎn)草，用它們燒一鍋湯。

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Polish recipes:?You have to touch the dough , feel the pierogi in your heart, touch it, lick it, smell it.
波蘭料理：你要用手觸摸那只生面團(tuán)，在心中感受那個(gè)波蘭餃子的存在，觸摸它，舔舔它，聞聞它。

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Internet recipes:?here is a heartwarming story about my baby sister’s third birthday that I completely made up, and a copypaste from Alton Brown.
網(wǎng)絡(luò)料理：附帶一個(gè)關(guān)于我小妹妹三歲生日的暖心故事，其實(shí)這個(gè)故事完全是我編造的，而且是從網(wǎng)絡(luò)主持人Alton Brown那里復(fù)制粘貼來的。

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Irish recipes:
愛爾蘭料理：

PO TA TOES
土——豆！

Boil them, mash them, stick them in a stew .
煮土豆，土豆泥，大鍋燉土豆！

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Dutch recipes:?Fry it.
荷蘭料理：炸了它！

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（翻譯：小木）