鏘鏘鏘鏘~

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01

中國哪里的姑娘最漂亮?

Where can you find the most beautiful girls in China?

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微信朋友圈

WeChat Moments

by. 滬江英語

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02

請給出一句很有內(nèi)涵的詩句

Please name a thought-provoking sentence from a poem.

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一懶眾衫小

Once lazy, all your clothes get smaller.

by. 滬江英語

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03

如何理解“窮不是一種狀態(tài)”?

What's the meaning of 'poverty is not a certain situation'?

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窮是一種常態(tài)

It's the common situation.

by. 滬江英語

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04

問世上不會游泳的動物是?

What animals on earth can not swim?

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媳婦和媽

Your wife and your mother.

by. 滬江英語

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05

如果被車撞飛10米遠(yuǎn),

爬起來之后說什么最帥?

What is the coolest thing to say after you got hit by a car and managed to stand up again?

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下一輛

Next!

by. 滬江英語

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06
媽,我是你的什么?

Mother, what am I to you?

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媽的智障

My karma.

by. 滬江英語

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07

為什么前女友還會一直關(guān)注我呢?

What could be the reason that my ex still follows me on social networks?

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知道你過得不好我也就放心了

Knowing that you still mess everything up makes my day.

by. 滬江英語

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08

為什么打群架的時候

普遍會脫掉上衣?

Why do people usually take off their clothes when starting a gang fight?

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假如脫掉褲子的話

總覺得有哪里不對,氣氛怪怪的

Because it would be weird to take off your pants.

by. 滬江英語

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09

哪件事,

讓你對自己的無知感到震驚?

What is the experience in which you got shocked by your own ignorance?

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小時候?qū)懽魑囊獙懝P名

我寫了“中華繪圖鉛筆”

Back when I was little,

we were required to write down our pen names.

And I wrote down the name of my pen's brand.

by. 滬江英語

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10

怎么反駁“你行你上啊”的邏輯?

How should I respond to 'You can you up'?

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我評論個雞蛋不好吃,還得自己下個蛋???

So I need to lay an egg to criticize an egg's flavor?

by. 滬江英語

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11

如何一個月減肥40斤?

By what means can I lose 20 kilograms in a month?

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截肢

Amputation.

by. 滬江英語

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12

怎樣含蓄地表達(dá)「我已經(jīng)被收買了」

How can I subtly suggest that I've been compromised?

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我說句公道話……

Let me say this impartially...

by. 滬江英語

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13

如何追求學(xué)醫(yī)的女生?

How to pursue a girl majoring in medicine?

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你好,我有病

Hi, I'm sick.

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by. 滬江英語

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14

為什么你長痘痘?

Why do you have pimples?

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因為我可愛得冒泡

Because I'm just bubble-bubbly cute.

by. 滬江英語

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15

你們夫妻每月掙多少錢?

How much do you two earn per month?

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我月收入一萬

加上我老婆可以到兩千

My monthly income is 10,000.

And it can get to 2,000 with my wife's contribution.

by. 滬江英語

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16

打雷的時候關(guān)窗戶有用嗎?

Does it work to close the window when it's thundering outside?

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沒用的,我試過了

關(guān)了窗雷一樣在打

No, it won't. I've tried.

It was still thundering outside after I closed the window.

by. 滬江英語

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17

你見過哪些概率極小極小的事件?

What extremly-small-probability event have you witnessed?

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20道完形填空,全錯

Done a cloze test of 20 questions

with 0 answer right.

by. 滬江英語

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18

妹子還書的時候夾了一張面巾紙

什么意思?

What does a girl mean when she return your book but with a facial tissue in it?

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說明你對人家有意思

This means you are paying extra attention to her.

by. 滬江英語

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19

兩千元人民幣,想出國窮游

可以去哪些國家?

To which country can I do a budget travel with 2,000 RMB?

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秦魯齊蜀韓鄭魏楚趙燕吳等等...

For example,

all the ancient countries that used to be China.

by. 滬江英語

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20

想養(yǎng)一只鸚鵡

教它說一些什么話好?

I wanna keep a parrot as pet. What would be cool to teach it to say?

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救命,我被變成鸚鵡了!

Help!

They've turned me into a parrot!

by. 滬江英語

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21

呆萌和腦殘的界限是?

What is the boundry between 'clumsy' and 'stupid'?

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the and

by. 滬江英語

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22

你臨死前的遺言是什么?

What would you say before you die?

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能不能換個醫(yī)生試試?

我覺得我還能活……

Can we try another doctor?

I think I can still be worked on...

by. 滬江英語

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23

為什么女生有體香,而男生沒有?

Why do women give out sweet scent but men don't?

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化妝品腌入味了

The makeup is fermenting.

by. 滬江英語

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24

男生說什么話

女生會覺得很大氣?

What would be manly for a man to say in front of a girl?

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I'll pay.

by. 滬江英語

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25

怎么說服老婆不拍婚紗照?

How can I persuade my wife not to take wedding photographs?

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你一個道具有什么資格好嘰嘰歪歪的?

配合好就是了

Since when does a stage item have a say about the shooting?

Just cooperate.

by. 滬江英語

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26

你看《我是歌手》嗎?

Do you know?I'm a Singer?

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不是

No, you're not.

by. 滬江英語

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27

熱戀是一種怎樣的體驗?

How does it feel to love somebody insanely?

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兩個長得像豬一樣的人

還怕對方被搶走了。。

Two people who are on no aspect attractive worry about each other being stolen by someone else.

by. 滬江英語

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28

有什么贊揚讓你比較尷尬?

Is there any compliment that makes you awkward?

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人不可貌相啊

We really cannot judge a book by its cover, can we?

by. 滬江英語

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29

你怎么一個人逛街啊?

Why are you shopping all by yourself?

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半個人逛街我怕嚇著你

I fear it would scare you to death if I were shopping all by no one.

by. 滬江英語

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30

單身兩年以上是什么體驗?

How does it feel to be single for more than 2 years?

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單身22年

不知道你說的是哪兩年?

I've been single for 22 years.

Which 2 years are you suggesting?

by. 滬江英語

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31

地球外面那一層叫什么?

How do you call the outside layer of Earth?

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香飄飄奶茶

Xiang Piao Piao milk tea.

by. 滬江英語

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32

要是在古代

姐的顏值能撐起整個青樓

Back in the ancient times, a face like mine can hold a whole brothel.

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你是說你長得像柱子嗎?

You mean you look like a pillar?

by. 滬江英語

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33

很高興為你服務(wù)

I'm glad to be at your service.

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你高興得太早了

You'll find out you got glad too fast.

by. 滬江英語

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34

北冥有魚,其名為鯤

Once in the northern sea, there was a fish and people called it Kun.

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眾人食之,完

And people ate it.

The end.

by. 滬江英語

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35

媽,我能看電視嗎?

Mom, can I watch the television?

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當(dāng)然可以啊,只要不打開就行

Of course you can, as long as it's turned off.

by. 滬江英語

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36

你得揣摩出題人的意圖

You need to understand why they set this question in the first place.

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他想我死

They want me dead.

by. 滬江英語

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37

你知道嗎?你最終會變成你討厭的人

You know what? You eventually become someone you loathe.

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借你吉言,我討厭有錢人

Thanks, I loathe people who are rich.

by. 滬江英語

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38

國慶去北京旅游有什么好建議嗎?

Gonna be traveling in Beijing during the National Day vacation. Any suggestion?

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別去

Don't go.

by. 滬江英語

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39

等我瘦了就回來找你

I'll come back for you when I get slim.

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如果你不想見我,其實可以直說

You can level with me if you don't want to see me.

by. 滬江英語

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40

有史以來最偉大的虛構(gòu)人物是誰?

Who is the greatest fictional character in history?

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別人家的小朋友

Someone else's child.

by. 滬江英語

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41

你看看別人家的男朋友

都是吃女朋友吃剩下的飯?。?!

Look at other girls' boyfriends. They eat their grilfriends' leftover.

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那你倒是給我剩點啊

Sounds as if you ever left any over.

by. 滬江英語

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42

為什么秀恩愛通常選擇在中午?

Why do people always show off their relationships at noon?

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因為早晚會有報應(yīng)

Because sooner or later karma will come to them.

by. 滬江英語

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43

請用一個詞來形容你的男朋友

Please use one word to describe your boyfriend.

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哪?

Where?

by. 滬江英語

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44

被人追了怎么拒絕?

How do I successfully reject someone who is pursuing me?

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就地卸妝

Remove your makeup,?right now, right there.

by. 滬江英語

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45

為了讓你好好學(xué)習(xí),父母都給過你什么?

What did your parents give you to make you study harder?

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這張臉

This face.

by. 滬江英語

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46

參觀一個世界奇觀時

你最想了解哪些信息?

What do you want to know the most when you visit a World Wonder?

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這附近有什么好吃的嗎?

What can I find to eat around there?

by. 滬江英語

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47

我要如何才能顯得很高冷?

How can I look high-end and cool?

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搬去喜馬拉雅

Move to the Himalayas.

by. 滬江英語

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48

為什么有的男生追女生追到一半不追了?

Why do some boys give up half-way pursuing a girl?

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你倒是給個進(jìn)度條啊

Why don't you display a progress bar?

by. 滬江英語

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49

為什么在洗完澡之后

有些人會覺得自己變漂亮了?

Why do some people find themselves prettier after they take a shower?

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腦子進(jìn)水了

The brain has water damage.

by. 滬江英語

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50

披薩切成8塊好,還是切成12塊好?

Should I slice the pizza into 8 pieces or 12 pieces?

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8塊好。12塊吃不下。

8 is good. 12 is too much for my stomach.

by. 滬江英語

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話說,

你心中最精彩的神回復(fù)有上榜嗎?

如果沒有的話,你的心頭好是什么?

快來留言區(qū)和大家分享一下吧。

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