白雪公主變身絕望主婦

原版愛(ài)情結(jié)局：

Then he told her all that had happened, and how he loved her better than the whole world, and begged her to go with him to his father’s palace and be his wife. Snow-White agreed, and went with him, and the wedding was celebrated with great splendour and magnificence.
然后他告訴她所有發(fā)生的事情，說(shuō)他愛(ài)她超過(guò)了整個(gè)世界，請(qǐng)求她一起回到他父親的宮殿做他的妻子。白雪公主答應(yīng)了，跟王子回到王宮，舉辦了盛大的婚禮。

沉淪版結(jié)局：王子婚后大男子主義暴露，Snow White 難逃 Desperate Housewife 的命運(yùn)。

灰姑娘酒吧買(mǎi)醉

原書(shū)愛(ài)情結(jié)局：

When she stood up the prince looked into her face, and he recognized the beautiful girl who had danced with him. He cried out, "She is my true bride."
當(dāng)她站起來(lái)王子走上前仔細(xì)看清楚她的臉后，認(rèn)出了她，馬上興奮的說(shuō)道：“這才是我真正的新娘?！?/p>

The stepmother and the two sisters were horrified and turned pale with anger. The prince, however, took Cinderella onto his horse and rode away with her. As they passed by the hazel tree, the two white doves cried out: Rook di goo, rook di goo! No blood's in the shoe. The shoe's not too tight, This bride is right!!
繼母和她的兩個(gè)姐妹大吃一驚，當(dāng)王子把灰姑娘扶上馬時(shí)，她們氣得臉都發(fā)白了，眼睜睜地看著王子把她帶走了。他們來(lái)到榛樹(shù)邊時(shí)，小白鴿唱道： “回家吧！回家吧！ 快看那只鞋！ 王妃！這是為你做的鞋！ 王子！王子！ 快帶新娘回家去， 坐在你身邊的才是真正的新娘”

After they had cried this out, they both flew down and lit on Cinderella's shoulders, one on the right, the other on the left, and remained sitting there.
鴿子唱完之后，飛上前來(lái)，停在了灰姑娘的右肩上。他們一起向王宮走去。

沉淪版結(jié)局：一入豪門(mén)深似海，灰姑娘 Cinderella只能酒吧買(mǎi)醉。

萵苣姑娘假發(fā)遮頭

原版愛(ài)情結(jié)局：

He heard a voice and thought it was familiar. He advanced toward it, and as he approached, Rapunzel recognized him, and crying, through her arms around his neck.
他聽(tīng)到了一個(gè)聲音，覺(jué)得很熟悉。他向著聲音走去，隨著他的碰觸，萵苣姑娘認(rèn)出了他，雙手抱著他的脖子哭泣了起來(lái)。

Two of her tears fell into his eyes, and they became clear once again, and he could see as well as before. He led her into his kingdom, where he was received with joy, and for a long time they lived happily and satisfied.
兩滴熱淚掉進(jìn)他的眼睛里，他們都變得清晰了，他的眼睛又能像以前一樣可以看了。他帶著她回到自己的王國(guó)，在那里他們過(guò)著快樂(lè)滿(mǎn)足的生活直到永遠(yuǎn)。

沉淪版結(jié)局：長(zhǎng)發(fā)的萵苣姑娘Rapunzel經(jīng)歷化療的痛苦，只能用假發(fā)遮住頭發(fā)。

小紅帽身材走樣

原版結(jié)局：

Then Little Red Riding Hood and her grandmother invited the woodcutter to share their lunch. After lunch, they asked him to take Little Red Riding Hood home. Then he went to find that big bad wolf.
小紅帽和外婆邀請(qǐng)伐木人一起享用她們的午餐。午餐后，她們請(qǐng)他送小紅帽回家，然后他就去找那只壞壞的大灰狼了。

沉淪版結(jié)局：小紅帽仍然在在森林里找尋grandma的家，因?yàn)榛@子里點(diǎn)心太多，身材走了樣，變成了胖紅帽。

睡美人住到養(yǎng)老院

原版結(jié)局：

The Prince walked on through the palace, making his way to the tallest tower where he climbed the stairs and entered the tower room.
王子穿過(guò)宮殿，走向最高的塔，他爬上了臺(tái)階走進(jìn)了塔頂?shù)姆块g。

There on the bed he saw Briar Rose fast asleep.
他看見(jiàn)布瑞爾·羅絲在床上睡著。

"She is so lovely," he said, He had fallen completely in love with her. "How can I wake her?"
“她真可愛(ài)，”他說(shuō)，他已經(jīng)完完全全的愛(ài)上了她。“我怎么才能喚醒她呢？”

He leant over and gently kissed her.
他俯下身溫柔的吻了她。

Briar Rose's eyelids flickered and she woke up. The first person she saw was the Prince and she fell in love with him.
布瑞爾·羅絲的眼皮動(dòng)了動(dòng)，她醒了。她看見(jiàn)的第一個(gè)人就是王子，她也愛(ài)上了他。

Together they walked down to the Great Hall. The King and Queen were just waking up, when the Prince and Briar Rose entered.
他們一起走下大堂，當(dāng)他們走進(jìn)大堂的時(shí)候，國(guó)王和王后也剛剛醒來(lái)。

The cooks in the kitchen woke up to carry on preparing the food and the chambermaids carried on with their work.
廚房里的廚子也醒過(guò)來(lái)繼續(xù)準(zhǔn)備食物，女仆們也繼續(xù)做她們的事情。

The party was still to be held, but it was an engagement party instead of a birthday party. The Prince and Briar Rose were to be married.
晚會(huì)仍然會(huì)舉行，但是已經(jīng)從生日晚會(huì)變成了訂婚晚會(huì)。王子和布瑞爾就要結(jié)婚了。

The hedge disappeared and the village saw the palace again and realised the legend had been true.
荊棘消失了，村莊的人們又看到了宮殿，他們終于發(fā)現(xiàn)傳說(shuō)其實(shí)是真的。

The bad fairy was never heard of again.
再也沒(méi)有壞仙女的消息了。

沉淪版結(jié)局：

Sleeping Beauty 仍在沉睡，并沒(méi)有被王子喚醒，而王子離家太久已失去王位，只能帶著昏睡中的睡美人住到養(yǎng)老院……

神燈救不了國(guó)家，公主上陣殺敵

原版結(jié)局：

After this Aladdin and his wife lived in peace. He succeeded the Sultan when he died, and reigned for many years, leaving behind him a long line of kings.
從此之后，阿拉丁和他的妻子過(guò)上了平靜的生活。蘇丹過(guò)世后他做了國(guó)王，統(tǒng)治國(guó)家很多年，還有了很多子孫繼承王位。

沉淪版結(jié)局：

阿拉伯地區(qū)戰(zhàn)火連天，Jasmine公主也要上陣殺敵。

小美人魚(yú)水族館謀生

原版結(jié)局：

The sun rose above the waves, and his warm rays fell on the cold foam of the little mermaid, who did not feel as if she were dying. She saw the bright sun, and all around her floated hundreds of transparent beautiful beings; she could see through them the white sails of the ship, and the red clouds in the sky; their speech was melodious, but too ethereal to be heard by mortal ears, as they were also unseen by mortal eyes. The little mermaid perceived that she had a body like theirs, and that she continued to rise higher and higher out of the foam.
現(xiàn)在太陽(yáng)從海里升起來(lái)了。陽(yáng)光柔和地、溫暖地照在冰冷的泡沫上。因?yàn)樾∪唆~(yú)并沒(méi)有感到滅亡。她看到光明的太陽(yáng)，同時(shí)在她上面飛著無(wú)數(shù)透明的、美麗的生物。透過(guò)它們，她可以看到船上的白帆和天空的彩云。它們的聲音是和諧的音樂(lè)。可是那么虛無(wú)縹緲，人類(lèi)的耳朵簡(jiǎn)直沒(méi)有辦法聽(tīng)見(jiàn)，正如地上的眼睛不能看見(jiàn)它們一樣。它們沒(méi)有翅膀，只是憑它們輕飄的形體在空中浮動(dòng)。小人魚(yú)覺(jué)得自己也獲得了它們這樣的形體，漸漸地從泡沫中升起來(lái)。

"Where am I?" asked she, and her voice sounded ethereal, as the voice of those who were with her; no earthly music could imitate it.
“我將向誰(shuí)走去呢？”她問(wèn)。她的聲音跟這些其他的生物一樣，顯得虛無(wú)縹緲，人世間的任何音樂(lè)部不能和它相比。

"Among the daughters of the air," answered one of them. "A mermaid has not an immortal soul, nor can she obtain one unless she wins the love of a human being. On the power of another hangs her eternal destiny. But the daughters of the air, although they do not possess an immortal soul, can, by their good deeds, procure one for themselves. We fly to warm countries, and cool the sultry air that destroys mankind with the pestilence. We carry the perfume of the flowers to spread health and restoration. After we have striven for three hundred years to all the good in our power, we receive an immortal soul and take part in the happiness of mankind. You, poor little mermaid, have tried with your whole heart to do as we are doing; you have suffered and endured and raised yourself to the spirit-world by your good deeds; and now, by striving for three hundred years in the same way, you may obtain an immortal soul."
“到天空的女兒那兒去呀！”別的聲音回答說(shuō)?！叭唆~(yú)是沒(méi)有不滅的靈魂的，而且永遠(yuǎn)也不會(huì)有這樣的靈魂，除非她獲得了一個(gè)凡人的愛(ài)情。她的永恒的存在要依靠外來(lái)的力量。天空的女兒也沒(méi)有永恒的靈魂，不過(guò)她們可以通過(guò)善良的行為而創(chuàng)造出一個(gè)靈魂。我們飛向炎熱的國(guó)度里去，那兒散布著病疫的空氣在傷害著人民，我們可以吹起清涼的風(fēng)，可以把花香在空氣中傳播，我們可以散布健康和愉快的精神。三百年以后，當(dāng)我們盡力做完了我們可能做的一切善行以后，我們就可以獲得一個(gè)不滅的靈魂，就可以分享人類(lèi)一切永恒的幸福了。你，可憐的個(gè)人魚(yú)，像我們一樣，曾經(jīng)全心全意地為那個(gè)目標(biāo)而奮斗。你忍受過(guò)痛苦；你堅(jiān)持下去了；你已經(jīng)超升到精靈的世界里來(lái)了。通過(guò)你的善良的工作，在三百年以后，你就可以為你自己創(chuàng)造出一個(gè)不滅的靈魂。”

沉淪版結(jié)局：

小美人魚(yú)Ariel失去自由，被囚禁在水族館中供人觀(guān)賞。

美人遲暮也整容

原版結(jié)局：

And when at last the time came for him to go, and he asked, as he had so often asked before, “Beauty, will you marry me?” She answered softly,
最后的時(shí)刻來(lái)到了，他問(wèn)了之前問(wèn)過(guò)許多遍的問(wèn)題：“貝兒，你愿意嫁給我嗎？”

“Yes, dear Beast.”
“是的，親愛(ài)的野獸?！?/p>

As she spoke a blaze of light sprang up before the windows of the palace; fireworks crackled and guns banged, and across the avenue of orange trees, in letters all made of fire-flies, was written: “Long live the Prince and his Bride.”
話(huà)剛說(shuō)出口，宮殿的窗外就放起了煙火，沿著橘樹(shù)大道，螢火蟲(chóng)們排成字母：“王子和他的新娘萬(wàn)歲?！?/p>

Beauty meant to ask the Beast what it all meant: but he had gone. In his place stood her long-loved Prince! At the same moment, two ladies entered the room. Both were splendidly dressed, but one especially so. Her companion said:
貝兒剛想問(wèn)野獸這是什么意思，但是野獸不見(jiàn)了。在他原來(lái)的地方站著貝兒一直愛(ài)著的王子！這時(shí)候，兩位穿著華麗衣服的女士進(jìn)了房間，其中一位特別耀眼。她的隨從說(shuō)：

“Well, Queen, this is Beauty, who has had the courage to rescue your son from the terrible magic spell that turned him into a Beast. They love one another, and your consent? to their marriage is all they need to make them perfectly happy.”
“王后，這就是貝兒，她用勇氣打破了王子變成野獸的魔咒。他們深深相愛(ài)，你的允許會(huì)讓他們的幸福變得更完美。

“I agree with all my heart,” cried the Queen.
王后哭泣著說(shuō)，“我發(fā)自?xún)?nèi)心的同意?！?/p>

And then she tenderly embraced Beauty and the Prince.
然后她溫柔的擁抱了貝兒和王子。

“Now,” said the Fairy to Beauty, “I suppose you would like me to send for your father and sisters ?”
“現(xiàn)在，”仙女對(duì)貝兒說(shuō)，“你應(yīng)該愿意讓我請(qǐng)你的父親和姐姐一起來(lái)吧？”

She did so. The marriage was celebrated the very next day, and Beauty and the Prince lived happily ever after.
她同意了，第二天就舉行了婚禮，貝兒和王子從此過(guò)上了幸福的生活。

沉淪版結(jié)局：美女難擋時(shí)光殺手，不得不求助整容手術(shù)。

豌豆上的公主守著墊子做釘子戶(hù)

原版結(jié)局：

Now they saw that she was a real princess, for through the twenty mattresses and the twenty eider-down quilts she had felt the pea. No one but a real princess could be so tender-skinned.
現(xiàn)在他們看出她是真正的公主了，隔著二十層床墊和二十條鵝毛被還能感覺(jué)到豌豆的存在，只有真正的公主才有這么嬌嫩的皮膚。

So the Prince took her for his wife, for now he knew that he had a true princess and the pea was put in the museum, and it is still to be seen there, unless somebody has carried it off.
于是王子讓公主成了他的妻子，他終于有了真正的公主做妻子。而這粒豌豆就被放進(jìn)了博物館，除非有人拿走了，不然你還會(huì)看見(jiàn)它的。

沉淪版結(jié)局：

王宮被拆，曾經(jīng)豌豆上的公主只能守著墊子做釘子戶(hù)。

印第安公主的蝸居生活

原版結(jié)局：

Then, accompanied by Lady De La Ware and Uttamatomakkin, she left the audience chamber.
在De La Ware夫人和Uttamatomakkin的陪同下，她離開(kāi)了觀(guān)眾席。

"The Lady Rebecca," said the Queen to her ladies when the curtains had fallen behind Pocahontas, "is one of the gentlest ladies England hath ever welcomed."
簾子在寶嘉康蒂身后落下，女王對(duì)夫人們說(shuō)，“麗貝卡女士是英國(guó)接待過(guò)的最優(yōu)雅的女士之一?！?/p>

沉淪版結(jié)局：印第安公主Pocahontas 過(guò)上了蝸居生活，只能養(yǎng)貓慰藉自己。

Sara Bareilles - 童話(huà)

YY童話(huà)結(jié)局不是啥新鮮idea了。Sara Bareilles有一首叫做Fairytale的歌曲，唱的也是童話(huà)后傳。說(shuō)王子不歸灰姑娘愛(ài)上賣(mài)酒男；睡美人太累但愿長(zhǎng)睡不愿醒；七小矮人不好照顧白雪公主整日家務(wù)；萵苣姑娘悔不當(dāng)初要尋找更高的高塔不要窗戶(hù)……

你的童話(huà)故事，是剛剛開(kāi)始還是已經(jīng)落幕？

Cinderella's on her bedroom floor
She's got a
Crush on the guy at the liquor store
Cause Mr. Charming don't come home anymore
And she forgets why she came here

Sleeping Beauty's in a foul mood
For shame she says
None for you dear prince, i'm tired today
I'd rather sleep my whole life away than have you keep me from dreaming

Cause i don't care for you fairytales
You're so worried about the maiden though you know
She's only waiting on the next best thing

Snow White is doing dishes again cause
What else can you do
With seven itty-bitty men?
Sends them to bed and calls up a friend
Says will you meet me at midnight?

The tall blonde lets out a cry of despair says
Would have cut it myself if i knew men could climb hair
I'll have to find another tower somewhere and keep away from the windows

Cause i don't care for you fairytales
You're so worried bout the maiden though you know
She's only waiting on the next best thing

Once upon a time in a faraway kingdom
Man made up a story said that i should believe him
Go and tell your white knight that he's handsome in hindsight
But i don't want the next best thing
So i sing and hold my head down and i break these walls round me
Can't take no more of your fairytale love

Cause i don't care for you fairytales
You're so worried bout the maiden though you know
She's only waiting on the next best thing

I don't care
I don't care

Worry bout the maiden though you know
She's only waiting spent the whole life being graded on the sanctity of patience and a dumb

Appreciation
But the story needs some mending and a better happy ending

Cause i don't want the next best thing
No no i don't want the next best thing