正常人必看:你一定不該在健身房做的21件事
作者:LAURA WILLIAMS
來(lái)源:Thrillist
2017-02-23 07:00
1.Snapping # belfies(bottom?selfies) on the weight room floor
在健身房拍臀部自拍
I’m sorry, I don’t care if you have the ass, you look ridiculous snapping pics of your own rear view in the weight room mirrors. No one actually stands or stretches like this -- belfie poses are absurd.
抱歉,我不在乎你是否有翹臀,但是照著健身房的鏡子拍自己的臀部照真的很可笑。沒(méi)人真的像這樣站立或伸展身體,臀部自拍真的很蠢。
2.Grunting, howling, or roaring like an animal
像動(dòng)物一樣發(fā)出喊聲、咆哮或者吼叫
There’s nothing wrong with emitting a few inadvertent grunts on the last couple reps of your bench press because you’re exerting yourself. But to the who grunt, howl, and roar before, during, and after throwing around a few questionably heavy dumbbells: you’re making a spectacle of yourselves in all the wrong ways.
你在舉重練習(xí)凳上舉最后幾下時(shí)無(wú)意中大喊幾聲無(wú)可厚非,因?yàn)槟沐憻挄r(shí)要用力。但對(duì)于那些舉起好像沒(méi)那么重的啞鈴之前、期間或之后大喊、咆哮或者吼叫的人來(lái)說(shuō),就是在用不恰當(dāng)?shù)男袨槭棺约撼蔀槠孑狻?/div>
3.Mansplaining
男人式的說(shuō)教
And when you use your “knowledge” to get close to a woman, especially with that condescending tone? That’s skeevy.
當(dāng)你利用你的“知識(shí)”去接近一個(gè)女孩兒時(shí),尤其是帶著那種居高臨下的口吻的話,真的很令人討厭。
4.Developing future douchebags
培養(yǎng)未來(lái)的蠢材
Dads, teaching your sons to properly lift weights is a valuable skill. Talk to a trainer about age-appropriate lifting methods before you take your Mini Me through your go-to gains program.
爸爸們,教會(huì)你們的兒子正確的舉重姿勢(shì)是很實(shí)用的技巧。在你帶小號(hào)的自己去鍛煉之前跟教練商討一下適合他們年齡的舉重方法。
5.Swinging weights
舉重時(shí)站不穩(wěn)
Don’t use your body’s momentum to lift the weight while performing traditional strength-training exercises. If you can’t use good form to complete a set, you have no business trying to lift the amount of weight you want everyone to notice you’re lifting.
進(jìn)行傳統(tǒng)力量訓(xùn)練時(shí)不要利用身體的沖力舉起杠鈴。如果你不能姿勢(shì)優(yōu)美地舉完一整套杠鈴,那就沒(méi)必要僅僅為了博得大家的關(guān)注嘗試舉起過(guò)重的杠鈴。
6.Wearing a?mansie
著裝不合適
Weightlifting-style spandex onesies have no place in your wardrobe unless you are actually a competitive weightlifter. Also, wearing a cycling bib on an upright bike? Weird.
除非你真是一個(gè)舉重運(yùn)動(dòng)員,否則衣柜里不會(huì)有專業(yè)舉重運(yùn)動(dòng)員穿的彈力纖維的連體衣。就像騎普通自行車時(shí)穿著一件騎行服,看起來(lái)怪怪的。
7.Leaving behind hairballs
留下很多團(tuán)頭發(fā)
Ladies, do what you want at home, but pick that shit up at the gym and walk the 2ft to the trashcan. It’s disgusting.
美女們,在家怎么做在這兒就怎么做,在健身房里把頭發(fā)都撿起來(lái),走幾步扔到垃圾桶里。弄得到處都是頭發(fā)真的很惡心。
8.Spraying deodorant like you're trying to?eradicate?a mosquito population
體香劑噴得太多好像你要消滅所有蚊子似的
Surely as a grown man you can do better. This also applies to grown women.
作為一個(gè)成年男人你能有更好的選擇。這條也適用于成年女性。
9.Drying anything other than hands with the hand dryer
烘手機(jī)只用來(lái)烘手,還烘干別的東西
Hair, feet -- that’s not what the HAND dryer is there for. Respect the fact that when you dry your nether regions under a shared locker-room hand dryer, everyone else is getting the worst kind of peep show.
頭發(fā)和腳不是烘手機(jī)的服務(wù)對(duì)象。你要意識(shí)到一個(gè)事實(shí),當(dāng)你用公用更衣室里的烘手機(jī)烘干私處時(shí),大家就好像在看你的下流表演。
10.Loud talking
大聲說(shuō)話
No one else cares how your boyfriend’s mom disrespected you at last week’s family dinner. Seriously. By all means, talk, just take the volume down by a decibel or 10.
沒(méi)人在乎你男朋友的媽媽上周家庭聚餐時(shí)怎么不尊重你了,真的,你說(shuō)話時(shí)一定要把音量降低1分貝或10分貝。
11.Turning stretching into softcore porn
伸展身體像色情表演
Go ahead and get your stretch on in whatever weird, bendy poses your body needs, but don’t intentionally turn your cat-cow into an oversexualized softcore porn session as you make eyes at the hunk of muscle across the gym.
你可以伸展身體,根據(jù)身體需要做出任何古怪、彎曲的姿勢(shì)。但千萬(wàn)不要為了和健身房里的肌肉男眉目傳情就把瑜伽動(dòng)作做得過(guò)于讓人浮想聯(lián)翩。
12.Leaving a trail of destruction behind you
不要把健身房弄得像犯罪現(xiàn)場(chǎng)
This is not your home, and your inability to pick up after yourself actually interferes with everyone else’s workouts.
這里不是你自己家,你不講衛(wèi)生會(huì)給別人鍛煉帶來(lái)麻煩。
13.Obsessing over intra-workout protein consumption
過(guò)分注意鍛煉時(shí)補(bǔ)充蛋白質(zhì)
Unless you’re engaging in extra-long, intense workouts, shaking up your protein powder after 15 minutes on the machines is completely unnecessary.
除非你正在進(jìn)行超長(zhǎng)時(shí)間、高強(qiáng)度的鍛煉,否則完全沒(méi)必要在鍛煉后15分鐘就喝蛋白質(zhì)粉。
14.Locking a poo behind you
大便之后廁所里臭氣熏天
Hey, sometimes shit happens. Do everyone a favor and leave the door open when you finish your business. Shutting the door prevents your stink from dissipating, and it’s the worst kind of surprise for the next person who opens that door.
有時(shí)鍛煉時(shí)會(huì)想大便。如廁之后就算是幫別人個(gè)忙,把門開(kāi)著。關(guān)門的話臭味就散發(fā)不出去,對(duì)下一個(gè)開(kāi)門的人來(lái)說(shuō)這個(gè)味道絕對(duì)是個(gè)驚嚇。
15.Being the "Ab Guy"
自戀
In every gym, there’s at least one Ab Guy or Gal making love to themselves in the mirrors. You may be beautiful on the outside, but you’re giving me serious doubts about your insides if you’re that obsessed with your own physique.
每個(gè)健身房里至少有一個(gè)自戀的男孩或女孩,他們愛(ài)死了鏡子里的自己。你可能外表很美,但如果你那么癡迷于自己的身材真的使我懷疑你心理不健康。
16.Staying naked way longer than necessary
裸體時(shí)間過(guò)長(zhǎng)
If you forget your towel in your locker and have to walk naked from one side of the locker room to the other before wrapping up, fine. But if you strip down as soon as you walk through those doors, and practice your physique poses in the mirrors, you need to take a serious look at your personal motives. Is the gym locker room really the place to do it? I think not.
如果毛巾忘在儲(chǔ)物柜里了,迫不得已光著身子穿過(guò)更衣室去裹浴巾,這無(wú)可厚非。但如果你一進(jìn)門就脫光光,然后照著鏡子練習(xí)各種健身姿勢(shì),你就要仔細(xì)考慮一下你的動(dòng)機(jī)了。更衣室里適合做這些嗎?我覺(jué)著不合適。
17.Getting busy in the hot tub or pool
在浴池或泳池里忙得不亦樂(lè)乎
The gym’s wet areas are not your private foreplay spots. And just because the bubbles are on in the hot tub doesn’t mean you can get away with hand stuff. What is wrong with you?
健身房里沖澡的區(qū)域不是你的私人曖昧場(chǎng)所。在浴池里身上有泡沫也不意味著你不會(huì)被發(fā)現(xiàn)。你是怎么了?
18.Blasting your own music
大聲放自己的音樂(lè)
Put on some headphones! I don’t know what world you live in that you think it’s acceptable to force everyone around you to listen to your playlist, but it’s not OK.
找個(gè)耳機(jī)戴上吧!我不知道你生活在什么樣的世界里,使你覺(jué)得迫使身邊所有人聽(tīng)你喜歡的歌無(wú)所謂,但其實(shí)這并不合適。
19.Hoarding and abandoning towels
囤毛巾、隨意丟棄毛巾
If you’re lucky enough to work out at a facility that provides towel service, then 1) understand there’s an actual human being responsible for washing and folding all those towels, so don’t make their job harder by taking more towels than you actually need, and 2) don’t leave your towels behind you.
如果你很幸運(yùn)去了一家提供毛巾的健身房鍛煉,那么第一你要明白每個(gè)人都有責(zé)任把毛巾洗干凈疊好,不要多拿毛巾給服務(wù)人員增加工作負(fù)擔(dān),其次不要隨手亂扔毛巾。
20.Using the sauna to "warm up"
把蒸桑拿當(dāng)成“熱身”
Using it so you can get that “sweaty look” before your normal workout is just weird. Know what else will give you that “sweaty look”? Your actual workout. And you’re less likely to suffer dehydration.
常規(guī)運(yùn)動(dòng)之前利用蒸桑拿達(dá)到“大汗淋漓”的目的是很怪異的行為。你知道有什么別的方法能使你看起來(lái)“大汗淋漓”嗎?要真的去運(yùn)動(dòng),這樣做還能減小脫水的風(fēng)險(xiǎn)。
21.Using the showers like they’re your own
把淋浴當(dāng)自家的用
No mildly empathetic adult spends 30 minutes in the gym shower, especially when other people are waiting. If you can’t lather, rinse in less than 10 minutes (and I’m being generous here), then you probably shouldn’t be showering at the gym at all.
沒(méi)有一個(gè)設(shè)身處地為他人著想的人會(huì)在健身房里淋浴30分鐘,尤其在還有其他人等候的情況下。如果你不能在10分鐘內(nèi)擦好香皂并沖洗干凈的話(這個(gè)時(shí)間是很充裕的),那你就不該在健身房里洗澡了。
(翻譯:菲菲)
聲明:本雙語(yǔ)文章的中文翻譯系滬江英語(yǔ)原創(chuàng)內(nèi)容,轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處。中文翻譯僅代表譯者個(gè)人觀點(diǎn),僅供參考。如有不妥之處,歡迎指正。
- 相關(guān)熱點(diǎn):
- 英語(yǔ)翻譯
- 人生勵(lì)志
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