I?watched?them?with?a?heavy?heart?as?they?left?until?they?slowly?disappeared.
我心情沉重的目送他們離開，直到他們漸漸消失在遠(yuǎn)方。

It?was?such?a?heart-wrenching ?sight!
這場景多么讓人心碎！

While?I?would?be?taking?a?convenient?ride?home,?he?would?be?trudging?on?foot?along?the?highway,?crossing?several?busy?streets?and?down?the?rough ?and?muddy?road?towards?home.
我回家的路程很短，非常便捷，而他卻要沿著高速公路艱難步行，穿過幾條擁擠的街道，再沿著一條坑洼不平的泥濘小路回家。

It?would?not?be?an?enjoyable?strides?and?a?light?walk?but?a?difficult?and?heavy?one.
無論對(duì)坐在輪椅上的人還是推輪椅步行的人，這都不是一趟輕松的旅程，而是困難且艱辛。

He?would?be?pushing?papa?in?his?wheelchair?along?the?three-?kilometer-?length?of?the?J?Center?Mall,?where?he?just?had?his?daily?electrostatic?energy?therapy,?towards?our?home?in?Ibabao.
爸爸剛在J購物中心廣場做完靜電理療，他會(huì)推著坐在輪椅里的爸爸穿過購物中心直徑三公里的廣場，走回我們遠(yuǎn)在Ibabao的家。

I?felt?a?pang?of?pain?and?guilt?deep?inside?where?my?anger?towards?him?was?kept?for?many?years.
我心中感到一陣劇痛和內(nèi)疚，在內(nèi)心深處，我多年來還一直保存著對(duì)他的恨意。

An?anger?that?was?drawn?out?of?my?love?for?him?as?my?only,?precious?brother.
由愛生恨，我愛他，因?yàn)樗俏椅ㄒ坏模滟F的弟弟。

I?was?angry?because,?for?almost?five?years?now,?he?never?untangled?himself?from?the?intricates?of?a?certain?wrong?thing.
我怨恨他，因?yàn)?，差不多快五年了，他一直讓自己陷于一樁?fù)雜而且本就是一個(gè)錯(cuò)誤的事件中，卻從未設(shè)法脫身。

I?was?angry?because?he?was?too?weak?and?slow?to?resist?it?and?I?felt?that?he?became?used?to?that?mistake?and?probably?not?doing?anything?at?all?to?solve?it.
我怨恨他，因?yàn)樗浫?，太遲緩，無法拒絕這件事，我感到他已經(jīng)熟悉并適應(yīng)了這個(gè)錯(cuò)誤，或許根本不想解決這個(gè)錯(cuò)誤。

He?must?have?waited?for?time's?own?way?of?bringing?things?into?better?perspectives.?
他一定是想把一切都交給時(shí)間，讓時(shí)間的魔力使事情變得更好。

Time's?perfect?ways?of?healing?and?forgeting.?Time's?own?ways?of?coming?out?into?much?better?solutions.
時(shí)間是治愈傷口最好的藥，時(shí)間是忘卻痛苦的孟婆湯。時(shí)間有自己的辦法，讓問題自己得到更好的解決。

I?was?just?too?afraid?that?Death?might?take?him?through?a?painful?way?and?I?wouldn't?be?able?to?accept?it.
我只是太害怕，害怕死亡會(huì)以一種殘忍的方式帶走他，我的心無法承受這種結(jié)果。

Just?the?mere?thought?of?this?made?me?emotionally?sick?for?years.?I?wanted?him?to?get?out?of?this?all?at?once!
光是想到這種情況就讓我數(shù)年來心中苦痛。我希望爸爸能馬上從折磨中解脫！

Trying?to?hold?back?my?tears?and?my?urge?to?cry?hard,?I?watched?him?and?his?slim?figure?as?he?pushed?papa?on?his?wheelchair.?
我竭力忍住眼淚，扼制住自己想哭的強(qiáng)烈沖動(dòng)。我看著他，看著他瘦削的身影，他推著輪椅上的爸爸。

In?every?turn?of?that?wheels,?i?also?find?myself?ever?more?guilty?than?him.
每次輪椅轉(zhuǎn)動(dòng)方向，我都發(fā)現(xiàn)自己比他更應(yīng)該感到愧疚。?

I?had?been?angry?about?his?weakness?yet?blinded?about?my?own's?failure?to?understand?and?forgive?as?a?big?sister.
我一直因?yàn)樗能浫醵购匏瑓s沒有看到，作為一個(gè)姐姐，我沒有理解、原諒他，同樣有錯(cuò)。

I?refused?to?consider?that,?perhaps,?he?may?have?so?much?difficulty?in?fighting?alone?to?overcome.
我沒有考慮到，或許，他一個(gè)人孤軍奮戰(zhàn)的時(shí)候，需要克服那么多的難關(guān)。

I?refused?to?open?up?my?mind?that?he,?too,?must?be?so?confused?and?needed?acceptance.
我沒有打開心結(jié)去為他著想，沒有考慮到他一定也很困惑，一定也需要?jiǎng)e人包容他。

I?was?so?legalistic?and?blinded?to?see?that?he,?too,?is?a?human?with?frailties?and?shortcomings?as?much?as?I?do!
我如此刻板，如此盲目，沒有看到他同樣是一個(gè)血肉之軀，有瑕疵，有缺點(diǎn)，就和我一樣！

While?he?pushed?papa?in?his?wheelchair?back?and?forth?everyday?with?the?hope?that?he?can?walk?again,?I?was?brooding?up?with?my?resentment.
他每天都推著爸爸在輪椅里走來走去，希望他能重新下地走路，我卻在醞釀自己的恨意。

I?never?knew?of?his?difficulties?and?fatigue?as?he?bathed?him?everyday,?did?him?passive?exercises,?put?him?on?his?potty,?took?him?to?bed?and?everything?that?I,?myself,?should?be?doing?as?the?nurse?of?the?family.
我從未了解過他的苦痛和疲憊，他每天給他洗澡，給他做被動(dòng)操，帶他上廁所，扶他上床睡覺，所有這些，本應(yīng)是我做的事，我本應(yīng)是這個(gè)家里的家庭護(hù)士。

Instead,?I?blamed?him?for?bringing?curse?into?the?family?for?his?stubbornness .?
相反，我抱怨他固執(zhí)己見，給家人帶來了厄運(yùn)。

I?blamed?him?for?the?financial?difficulties?I?was?suffering?for?many?years.?
我為數(shù)年來自己承受的經(jīng)濟(jì)困境而抱怨他。

I?was?just?too?blind?and?deaf?to?see?that?he?was?not?an?evil?after?all.
我真是眼花耳聾，頭腦糊涂，沒有看到有錯(cuò)的人根本不是他。

That?he?had?the?character?every?parents?would?dream?in?a?child.?
我沒有看到他具有的品格是每個(gè)父母做夢(mèng)都希望自己的孩子具有的。

A?child?that?would?take?care?of?them?when?they?get?old?and?sick.
這樣的孩子，會(huì)在父母年老體弱，病魔纏身的時(shí)候照顧他們。

I?was?not?able?to?sleep?well?that?night.?
這晚我無法安睡。

I?was?so?overwhelmed?with?the?fact?that?it?is?not?him?that?has been wrong all the time,?but?me?and?my?wicked?heart.
我意識(shí)到一個(gè)事實(shí)，被它壓得喘不過氣來——原來一直以來錯(cuò)的并不是他，而是我和我這顆惡劣的心！

?

（翻譯：小木）