看圖作文在英語作文中是大家普遍缺乏練習(xí)的一種類型，一個(gè)提高的方式就是看范例和點(diǎn)評(píng)，針對(duì)其中的錯(cuò)誤進(jìn)行自我修正。

拔苗助長(zhǎng)：

寫作原文

As is vividly unfolded in the caricature,A(改為a) little boy is required to finish reading a mass of books which are even higher than his height by his father(此處作者想用by his father表達(dá)什么含義?建議去掉),whose facial expression implies that he is rather unwilling and (改為In) the picture,there is a book called lly,It is(注意標(biāo)點(diǎn)及大小寫的正確使用，建議作者改為“, which is generally”)read by (首字母大寫) drawer aims to reveal a symbolic meaning that parents should cultivate children according to his(改為their) aptitude,instead of blind notion of education.In contemporary society,the number of students who suffer from cram school(改為schools) and the pressure of their parents(句子層次混亂，建議加“, which改為定語從句”)has increased at an alarming rate.Careful deliberation of this phenomenon has illustrated me on why this should be so(表達(dá)不準(zhǔn)確，改為There are numerous reasons why exists this phenomenon, and I would explore only a few of the most important ones here).Fierce competition,in the first place,constitues(拼寫錯(cuò)誤，改為consists) one of the primary reasons.According to a recent survey made by sina,there are one million students choose to pursue a master degree after graduation.Attending cram school(改為schools) will lay a foundation for future development.Convergent thinking existing in the society is also the breeding ground for this trend.This undesirable general mood of society will eventually result(改為results) in being devoid of innovation.If there is no compelling interference to revease(拼寫錯(cuò)誤，改為reverse) this trend,our country is bound to be influenced adversely.To be specific,It(小寫) will lack innovative talent,be short of the motion to accelerate,(改為be short of the motivation to promote the development of economy)and ultimately be detrimental to building up a suststainable(拼寫錯(cuò)誤，改為sustainable)development society.In terms of my personal experience,It(小寫)is urgent and imperative to take counter measures.For one thing, the public media should advocate and propagandize the notion of divergent thinking,which will be conducive to one’s personal growth and core competitive power.For another,students should foster a desirable life philosophy.If we can implement as the above mentioned,the promising future can be well guaranteed.

總體點(diǎn)評(píng)

文章采用經(jīng)典的三段式結(jié)構(gòu)進(jìn)行闡述，重點(diǎn)突出，條理清晰；但還存在一些簡(jiǎn)單的語法錯(cuò)誤。作者在寫作完之后若可以花費(fèi)幾分鐘時(shí)間來回讀文章，便會(huì)減少不必要的錯(cuò)誤?？佳凶魑牡恼w思路你已經(jīng)基本掌握，后面要做的就是多積累高分佳句，加強(qiáng)句子成分的分析。寫完之后一定要認(rèn)真檢查，減少失分點(diǎn)。

參考分?jǐn)?shù)(滿分20分)：12

英語寫作水平的提升需要不斷地練習(xí)，在改正錯(cuò)誤中不斷取得進(jìn)步，不怕犯錯(cuò)誤，怕明知道犯錯(cuò)誤卻不面對(duì)?？戳朔段暮忘c(diǎn)評(píng)，希望大家有思考，有提高。

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