I thought for a while,walking next to him and saying nothing. I believed I could live in India with St.John,because the work would be rewarding and interesting. "Yes,I could do that. But I know he doesn't love me,and yet he still asks me to marry him!Why?" I thought.After a while,I said. "St.John,I will go with you to India,but as your cousin,not as your wife." He shook his head. "No,Jane.As my cousin,you could marry some other man any time and leave me. I need a wife,who will obey me and stay with my until death." Even though I did not want to go,I felt St.John's power over me already. "I could go with you to India as a friend,but I can't give up my freedom by marrying you. I will always give my heart to God,but you don't want it,St.John. You don't love me,and I don't love you,"I said to him gently.