【讀書(shū)筆記】王爾德《自深深處》27
1891年，處在寫(xiě)作生涯巔峰期的王爾德遇見(jiàn)了阿爾弗雷德·“波西”·道格拉斯(Alfred "Bosie" Douglas)，兩人很快成為了同性戀人。四年后，因?yàn)檫@段“不敢說(shuō)出名字的愛(ài)”，王爾德被判“有傷風(fēng)化”罪而入獄。在獄中，王爾德開(kāi)始反思從前的生活，思索痛苦和人生的意義，藝術(shù)和愛(ài)的真諦，最終將那些痛苦的淚水都化作優(yōu)美而深沉的文字，寫(xiě)成了這封名為"de profundis"(從深處)的長(zhǎng)信。
作者簡(jiǎn)介：奧斯卡·王爾德(Oscar Wilde, 1854-1900)，英國(guó)維多利亞時(shí)代著名作家，“唯美主義運(yùn)動(dòng)”的領(lǐng)軍人物，倡導(dǎo)“為藝術(shù)而藝術(shù)”(Art for art's sake)。他的代表作有戲劇《莎樂(lè)美》(Salome)《認(rèn)真的重要性》(The Importance of Being Earnest)，童話《快樂(lè)王子》(The Happy Prince) 《夜鶯與玫瑰》(The Nightingale and the Rose)，小說(shuō)《道連·格雷的畫(huà)像》(The Picture of Dorian Gray)，以及書(shū)信《自深深處》(De Profundis)等。
【原著選段】
After my terrible?sentence, when the prisondress?was on me, and the prison-house closed, I sat?amidst the ruins of my wonderful life,?crushed?by?anguish, bewildered with terror, dazed through?pain. But I would not hate you. Every day I said?to myself, “ I must keep Love in my heart today, else?how shall I live through the day.” I reminded?myself that you meant no evil, to me at any?rate: I set myself to think that you had but drawn?a bow at a venture, and that the arrow had pierced a?King between the joints?of the harness. To have?weighed you against the smallest of my sorrows, the?meanest of my losses, would have been, I felt, unfair.?I determined I would regard you as one suffering too.?I forced myself to believe that at last the scales had?fallen from your long-blinded eyes. I used to fancy,?and with pain, what your horror must have been?when you contemplated your terrible handiwork.?There were times, even in those dark days, the?darkest of all my life, when I actually longed to?console you. So sure was I that at last you had?realised what you had done.
【朱純深譯本】
在我那可怕的刑判下來(lái)后，當(dāng)囚衣披上身、牢房關(guān)上門(mén)之后，我坐在自己燦爛生活的廢墟中，痛苦使我肝膽俱裂，恐懼使我不知所措，疼痛又令我眼冒金星。但我不會(huì)恨你的。每天我都對(duì)自己說(shuō)：“今天我必須把愛(ài)留存心間， 否則這一天怎么過(guò)？”我提醒自己說(shuō)你是不懷惡意的，不管怎樣，對(duì)我是不懷惡意的。我要自己認(rèn)為，你不過(guò)是貿(mào)然張弓，是箭鏃射中了一個(gè)國(guó)王，穿進(jìn)他鎧甲的連接處。要是連我憂傷中之最輕者、損失中之最小者都拿出來(lái)同你計(jì)較，我覺(jué)得，是不公平的。我決心把你也看作是患難者，強(qiáng)迫自己相信，那長(zhǎng)久蒙蔽你眼睛的陰翳終于消解了。我曾常常不無(wú)心痛地懸想，當(dāng)你思量自己一手造成的可怕后果時(shí)，會(huì)是多么的驚懼。即使在那黑暗的日子里，那些我一生中最黑暗的日子里，也有些時(shí)候我當(dāng)真渴望能去安慰你，那樣確信你終于領(lǐng)悟到了自己的所作所為。
【讀書(shū)筆記】
1、sentence?n.判決；課刑 v.宣判；使遭受
【舉例】He was under the sentence of death.?他被判了死刑。
He was sentenced to two years at hard labour.?他被判服兩年苦役。
sentence these primitive cultures to extinction 使那些原始文化遭到毀滅?
2、at any rate?無(wú)論如何；至少。相當(dāng)于“at all rates”。
【舉例】I must go at any rate.?無(wú)論如何我都要去。
She is at any rate pleasant to look at.??她至少長(zhǎng)得還不錯(cuò)。
3、at a venture?胡亂地；碰巧；未經(jīng)考慮地
【舉例】A successor was chosen at a venture.?隨便挑選了一位繼承人。
4、weigh v.稱……的重量；認(rèn)真考慮；權(quán)衡，比較
【舉例】weigh the risks 認(rèn)真考慮所冒的風(fēng)險(xiǎn)
weigh a plan against another 權(quán)衡兩個(gè)計(jì)劃的優(yōu)劣
weigh the pros and cons 比較正反兩面意見(jiàn)
5、fancy v.想象；(無(wú)根據(jù)地)猜想
【舉例】Can you fancy yourself on the moon? 你能想象自己在月球上嗎？
I fancy it will rain. 我猜天要下雨。