1891年,處在寫作生涯巔峰期的王爾德遇見了阿爾弗雷德·“波西”·道格拉斯(Alfred "Bosie" Douglas),兩人很快成為了同性戀人。四年后,因?yàn)檫@段“不敢說出名字的愛”,王爾德 被判“有傷風(fēng)化”罪而入獄。在獄中,王爾德開始反思從前的生活,思索痛苦和人生的意義,藝術(shù)和愛的真諦 ,最終將那些痛苦的淚水都化作優(yōu)美而深沉的文字,寫成了這封名為"de profundis"(從深處)的長信。

作者簡介:奧斯卡·王爾德(Oscar Wilde, 1854-1900),英國維多利亞時代著名作家, “唯美主義運(yùn)動”的領(lǐng)軍人物,倡導(dǎo)“為藝術(shù)而藝術(shù)”(Art for art's sake)。他的代表作有 戲劇《莎樂美》(Salome)《認(rèn)真的重要性》(The Importance of Being Earnest),童話《快樂王子》(The Happy Prince) 《夜鶯與玫瑰》(The Nightingale and the Rose),小說《道連·格雷的畫像》(The Picture of Dorian Gray), 以及書信《自深深處》(De Profundis)等。

【原著選段】

Of course you had your illusions, lived in?them indeed, and through their shifting mists?and coloured veils saw all things changed.?You thought, I remember quite well, that your?devoting yourself to me, to the entire exclusion?of your family and family life, was a proof of?your wonderful appreciation of me, and your?great affection. No doubt to you it seemed so.?But recollect that with me was luxury, high?living, unlimited pleasure, money without stint.

I also had my illusions. I thought life was going?to be a brilliant comedy, and that you were to be one?of many graceful figures in it. I found it to be a?revolting and repellent tragedy, and that the sinister?occasion of the great catastrophe, sinister in its?concentration of aim and intensity of narrowed willpower,?was yourself, stripped of that mask of joy and?pleasure by which you, no less than I, had been?deceived and led astray.

【朱純深譯本】

當(dāng)然,你有你的幻想,說實(shí)在是生活在這些幻想中。透過那游移的薄霧、有色的薄紗, 一切全看走樣了。我記得很清楚, 你以為一心一意與我相伴,將你的家庭和家庭生活置之度外,便證明了你對我美妙的欣賞和深厚的情誼。在你看來無疑是如此。但是追憶當(dāng)時,與我相伴便是奢侈,便是高雅生活, 便是無限的歡娛、不盡的金錢。

我呢,也有我的幻想。我以為生活會是一出絕妙的喜劇,而你會是劇中一個風(fēng)雅備至的人物。后來卻發(fā)現(xiàn)它原來是一個令人反感、令人惡心的悲劇。而帶來大災(zāi)難的險惡禍端,其險其惡在于苦心孤詣、志在必得,就是剝?nèi)チ藲g娛和喜樂面具的你本人。那面具不但騙了我,也騙了你誤入歧途。

【讀書筆記】

1、illusion?n.錯覺,幻覺;幻想,錯誤的觀念;(使觀眾產(chǎn)生錯覺的)魔術(shù)手法,幻術(shù)
【舉例】The old man's ruddy complexion gave an illusion of good health.?老人紅潤的臉色給人以健康的錯覺。
have illusions about sth.?對某事抱有幻想
【相關(guān)詞匯】
illusionary?a.造成錯覺的;錯覺/幻想中的
illusionist?n.好幻想的人,空想家;魔術(shù)師
disillusion?v.使醒悟;使幻滅 ?be disillusioned about sb./sth. 對某人/某事不再抱有幻想

2、recollect??回憶,追憶;想起
【舉例】I'm trying to recollect his phone number.?我正努力回想他的電話號碼。
I cannot recollect what happened next. 這以后發(fā)生的事我記不得了。
【相關(guān)詞匯】
recollection 回憶,記憶;往事;回憶錄 It is in my recollection that.... 我記得……

3、sinister 惡意的;不祥的;災(zāi)難性的;左邊的
【舉例】a sinister remark?惡毒的話
a sinister smile?奸笑
a sinister symptom?兇兆
a sinister fate 厄運(yùn)
【詞源探秘】
為神馬一個表示“兇險”的單詞還有“左邊”的意思呢?原因是這個詞來自拉丁語Sinistra,本意是“左邊”,而古羅馬占卜官視左側(cè)出現(xiàn)的征兆為不祥,久而久之,這個詞也就帶上“不祥”的意思了。

《自深深處》讀書筆記系列>>

點(diǎn)擊進(jìn)入滬江下載庫下載《自深深處》雙語版>>