7月在巴黎的街上,行人的衣裝,從少女的背心短褲到老嫗的厚大衣,四季都有。7月在巴黎,幾乎天天都是晴天,有時一連數(shù)日碧空無云,入夜后天也不黑下來,只變得深洞洞的暗藍。巴黎附近無山,城中少見高樓,城北的蒙馬特也只是一個矮丘,太陽要到九點半才落到地平線上,更顯得晝長夜短,有用不完的下午。不過晴天也會突來霹靂:7月14日法國國慶那天上午,密特朗總統(tǒng)在香熱里榭大道主持閱兵盛典,就忽來一陣大雨,淋得總統(tǒng)和軍樂隊狼狽不堪。電視的觀眾看得見雨氣之中,樂隊長的指揮杖竟失手落地,連忙俯身拾起。
In July, Parisians in the open are seen dressed in the clothes of all seasons, ranging from young girls’ vests and short skirt to elderly women’s thick overcoats. In July, Paris has sunny weather almost every day. Sometimes the sky is blue and cloudless for days on end and, when night comes, it never turns pitch dark, but remains a deep blue. There are no mountains in its vicinity and few high-rises in the city proper. Montmartre in the north of the city is a mere hillock. As the sun never sinks below the horizon until 9:30 pm, the days seem even longer and the nights even shorter. And the afternoons seem to last endlessly. Nevertheless, sometimes a thunderbolt also comes from the clear sky. On the morning of July14, French National Day, when President Mitterrand was presiding over the review of a massive military parade on Champs Elysées, it suddenly started rainning in torrents. The President and the military band, caught in the downpour, found themselves in a very awkward situation. TV viewers even saw the bandmaster bend down quickly to pick up the baton he had dropped onto the ground in a flurry.
要點:
1,“7月在巴黎的街上”是典型的中式表達,譯者在此只譯In July,而將“在巴黎的街上”用下文的Parisians in the open體現(xiàn)出來,既忠實于原文意思,又不拘泥于原文形式。
2,“一連數(shù)日”= for days on end,其中on end 意為“連續(xù)地”,其同義詞還有successively, consecutively ,continuously ,continually ,without end ,running ,on the run,on the trot
3,proper在此意為副詞“完全地,徹底地”。
4,in torrents意即“(大雨)傾盆地”。
5,“電視的觀眾看得見雨氣之中,樂隊長的指揮杖竟失手落地,連忙俯身拾起?!弊g為TV viewers even saw the bandmaster bend down quickly to pick up the baton he had dropped onto the ground in a flurry.本段多動詞句頗多,一般用我們之前講的方法都能化解(即“找主要動詞為謂語,次重要的譯為非謂語或從句,再不重要的譯為介詞短語”),但這句話中的動詞是可以連成一體的,因此譯者調(diào)整了動詞的順序,譯為可以串聯(lián)起來的動作。
綜述:本段需要斷句和合譯的分句頗多。是練習(xí)的好材料
法國北部及中部地勢平坦,一望無際,氣候卻有變化。巴黎北行一小時至盧昂,就覺得冷些;西南行二小時至羅瓦河中流,氣候就暖得多,下午竟頗燠熱,不過入夜就涼下來,星月異常皎潔。
In Northern and Central France lie boundless level plains with varying climates. Rouen, which is a one-hour ride to the north of Paris, is cooler while the central reaches of the Loire River, which is a two-hour ride to the southwest of Paris, is much warmer. The latter becomes very hot in the afternoon, but cooler at night with the bright moon and stars in the sky.
要點:
1,“巴黎北行一小時至盧昂”即“盧昂位于巴黎北部,距巴黎有一小時車程”,譯為Rouen, which is a one-hour ride to the north of Paris,而后面的“西南行二小時至羅瓦河中流“也采取了同樣的句式。
2,“下午竟頗燠熱,不過入夜就涼下來,星月異常皎潔?!白g為The latter becomes very hot in the afternoon, but cooler at night with the bright moon and stars in the sky.用 the latter化簡句子的長度,也是值得借鑒的,我們在《朋友》中也見到過。
綜述:注意本段”向(東西南北)行+時間+至某地“的表述。
再往南行入西班牙,氣候就變得干暖。馬德里在高臺地的中央,七月的午間并不悶熱,入夜甚至得穿毛衣。我在南部安達露西亞地區(qū)及陽光海岸(Costa del Sol)開車,一路又干又熱,枯黃的草原,干燥的石堆,大地像一塊烙餅,攤在酷藍的天穹之下,路旁的草叢常因干燥而起火,勢頗驚人??墒悄鞘歉蔁?,并不令人出汗,和臺灣的濕悶不同。
Down in Spain, the climate is arid and warm. Madrid is located in the center of plateau. Its noontime temperature in July is not sultry, and you have to wear a woolen sweater towards the evening. In Southern Spain, when driving in the Andalucia region and along the Costa del Sol, I found everything dry and hot. The grass was turning yellow and the rocks were dry. The earth was like a pancake roasting under the deep blue firmament. Alarmingly, the roadside grass often started burning by itself. Unlike Taiwan which is humid, Southern Spain is hot and dry and so people there don’t sweat at all.
要點:
1,”再往南行入西班牙“即“再往南行駛進入西班牙” Down in Spain,可以看做是是driving down the south, we entered in Spain 的省略形式,in此處是介詞代替動詞。
2,“攤在…下”意為“在…下烤著…”故譯為roasting under。
3,“勢頗驚人“即”火勢頗為驚人“,通常我們會采用從句的形式,而譯者此處用副詞更顯簡潔。
英國則趨于另一極端,顯得陰濕,氣溫也低。我在倫敦的河堤區(qū)住了三天,一直是陰天,下著間歇的毛毛雨。即使破曉時露一下朝暾,早餐后天色就陰沉下來了。與我存走過滑鐵盧橋,7月的河風吹來,水氣陰陰,令人打一個寒噤,把毛的翻領(lǐng)拉起。
England is at the other extreme, being overcast and wet with a low temperature. It was gloomy all the time and kept drizzling intermittently during the three days when I stayed in the River Embankment area of London. Sometimes the morning sun made its brief appearance at daybreak, but the sky turned overcast soon after breakfast. While crossing Waterloo Bridge with Wocun against the July wind blowing from the River Thames, a nip in the air sent shivers down my spine, forcing me to turn up my fur collar.
要點:
1,“下著間歇的毛毛雨“= kept drizzling intermittently
2,“我在倫敦的河堤區(qū)住了三天“很容易讓人聯(lián)想到使用spend on,然而根據(jù)上下文我們發(fā)現(xiàn),這個分句并不是主句,而是一個狀語即”我在…住了三天,那時/那幾天…“,因此譯為during the three days when I stayed in the River Embankment area of London.
3,“與我存走過滑鐵盧橋,7月的河風吹來,水氣陰陰,令人打一個寒噤,把毛的翻領(lǐng)拉起.“即”我和…過橋時,頂著7月的河風,帶著寒氣的空氣使我寒顫,迫使我立起了我的毛領(lǐng)“合譯時注意分析各個分句間主語的關(guān)系,”我“和”河風“是”我頂著河風走“的關(guān)系,against依舊是一個可以代替動詞的介詞
綜述:注意本段的合譯。找關(guān)系找關(guān)系。
我們開車北行,一路上經(jīng)過塔尖如夢的牛津,城樓似幻的勒德洛(Ludlow),古橋野渡的蔡斯特(Chester),雨云始終罩在車頂,雨點在車窗上也未干過。進入步布瑞亞的湖區(qū)之后,遍地江湖,滿空云雨,偶見天邊綻出一角薄藍,立刻便有更多的灰云挾雨遮掩過來。真要怪華茲華斯的詩魂小氣,不肯讓我一窺他詩中的晴美湖光。在我一夕投宿的鷹頭(Hawkshead)小店棧樓窗望出去,沿湖一帶,樹樹含雨,山山帶云,很想告訴格拉斯米教堂墓地里的詩翁,我國古代有一片云夢大澤,也出過一位水氣逼人的詩宗。
We drove up north through Oxford with its dreamy spires, Ludlow with its illusory old castles and Chester with its ancient bridge and solitary ferry crossing. Rain clouds continued to hang over our car and raindrops remained intact on its windows. After entering the Lake District, Cumbria, we found rivers and lakes everywhere and the sky full of rain clouds. Occasionally a speck of light blue would appear over the horizon only to be soon blotted out by dark grey rain clouds. I could not help complaining against Wordworth for grudging me a sunny scene of the beautiful Lakeland as described in his poems. In Hawkshead, I put up for one night at a small inn. Looking out of its window, I saw all trees around the lakes wet with rain and all mountains shrouded by clouds. How I longed to tell the great poet lying in Grasmere Churchyard that in ancient China there was also a great poet domiciled in a region of rivers and lakes!
要點:
1, 本段中的“向北行駛”譯為drove up north,up north即“到北部”。
2, 塔尖如夢的牛津= Oxford with its dreamy spires
城樓似幻的勒德洛= Ludlow with its illusory old castles
古橋野渡的蔡斯特= Chester with its ancient bridge and solitary ferry crossing
這幾句皆可理解為“某地有著…”句式一致,語言優(yōu)美。
3,“真要怪華茲華斯的詩魂小氣,不肯讓我一窺他詩中的晴美湖光”譯為I could not help complaining against Wordworth for grudging me a sunny scene of the beautiful Lakeland as described in his poems.其中g(shù)rudge意即“勉強做;不情愿地給;吝惜”。
4,“樹樹含雨,山山帶云”即“所有的樹都被雨打濕而所有的山都籠罩在云里”= all trees around the lakes wet with rain and all mountains shrouded by clouds
5,“云夢大澤”即“云夢澤” ,是中國湖北省江漢平原上的古代湖泊群的總稱,在此泛指湖泊河流,譯為in a region of rivers and lakes!
6,“水氣逼人”根據(jù)上下文理解為“偉大的”,譯為great。
綜述:本文作為一片寫景散文文筆優(yōu)美,翻譯有一定難度,除了注意松散句的合譯以外,本篇的選詞也值得注意。很多表達都是值得積累的。
聲明:本雙語文章的中文評析系滬江英語原創(chuàng)內(nèi)容,轉(zhuǎn)載請注明出處。中文評析僅代表作者個人觀點,如有不妥之處,歡迎指正。