西歐的夏天
Summer in Western Europe

余光中
Yu Guangzhong

| 譯文摘自張培基《英譯中國散文選二》

旅客似乎是十分輕松的人,實際上卻相當(dāng)辛苦。旅客不用上班,卻必須受時間的約束;愛做什么就做什么,卻必須受錢包的限制;愛去哪里就去哪里,卻必須把幾件行李蝸牛殼一般帶在身上。旅客最可怕的噩夢,是錢和證件一起遺失,淪為來歷不明的乞丐。旅客最難把握的東西,便是氣候。
Light-hearted as he seems,a traveler is in fact under great stress. Though on vacation, he is nevertheless subject to the restraint of time. He can do whatever he likes on the trip, but he has to keep the expenditure within the limits of his pocket. Wherever he goes, he has to take with him his cumbersome hand luggage. He faces the most horrible possibility of losing his money and credentials, which will reduce himself to a pauper of unknown background. And, besides, he can never be sure of the weather.

要點
1,“旅客似乎是十分輕松的人,實際上卻相當(dāng)辛苦?!弊g為Light-hearted as he seems,a traveler is in fact under great stress.其中“輕松的“還可譯為jiyous joyful cheerful等,但Light-hearted有carefree (無憂無慮)的含義,更加貼合語境,”辛苦“此處即”處于緊張狀態(tài)“譯為under great stress.與前面的Light-hearted形成對比。還要注意本句用第三人稱he來代指“旅客”拉近了與讀者的距離。
2,“旅客不用上班”意即“旅客在度假”或“即使是在假期”譯為Though on vacation/vacationing。比直譯為though he doesn’t go to work 確切。
3,” 愛做什么就做什么,卻必須受錢包的限制”譯為He can do whatever he likes on the trip, but he has to keep the expenditure within the limits of his pocket,“受…的限制”=within the limitation of…
4,”蝸牛殼一般“譯者只取其本質(zhì)含義譯為cumbersome,簡潔生動。
5,“淪為來歷不明的乞丐“譯為which will reduce himself to a pauper of unknown background.其中reduce to 我們在《我坐了木船》等文中見過無數(shù)次了,此處重點看”來歷不明“的譯法除了譯為…of unknown background以外,還可譯為unidentifiable …

綜述:本段值得注意的是:原文連續(xù)用三個排比句說明了旅客在旅行中會遇到的限制。譯文沒有完全按照同等的排比結(jié)構(gòu)進(jìn)行翻譯 ,而是將三個排比句譯成了三個單句 ,均 用 “ he ”作主語。避免句式重復(fù),也使譯文和原文在結(jié)構(gòu)和內(nèi)容上都做到了基本對應(yīng)。

我現(xiàn)在就是這樣的旅客。從西班牙南端一直旅行到英國的北端,我經(jīng)歷了各樣的氣候,已經(jīng)到了寒暑不侵的境界。此刻我正坐在中世紀(jì)古堡改裝的旅館里,為讀者寫稿,剛剛黎明,濕灰灰的云下是蘇格蘭中部荒莽的林木,林外是隱隱的青山。曉寒襲人,我坐在厚達(dá)尺許的石墻里,穿了一件毛衣,如果要走下回旋長梯像走下古堡之腸,去坡下的野徑漫步尋幽,還得披上一件夠厚的外套。
That’s what I’m like now. I’ve traveled all the way from the southern tip of Spain to the northern tip of England, experiencing a variety of climates until I’ve become apathetic to the elements. I’m now sitting in a medieval castle turned hotel, writing an article for my readers. The day is just dawning. In Central Scotland, there lies under the gray wet clouds a wild wooded region, beyond which a green mountain stands faintly visible. In the chilly air of the early morning, I have to be dressed in a woolen sweater while sitting on a stone wall one foot on thickness. But I need, in addition, an outer garment to keep me warm in case I come down the spiral staircase—the intestines of the castle—to take a stroll along an unfrequented path down the mountain slope in search of secluded places of quiet beauty.

要點
1,“寒暑不侵“即”對各種天氣都不在乎了“或”適應(yīng)了各種天氣“,譯為I’ve become apathetic to the elements或be indifferent to the change of weather。
2,” 中世紀(jì)古堡改裝的旅館”譯為a medieval castle turned hotel,turned 是不及物動詞turn的過去分詞,用作adj。
3,“剛剛黎明“譯為The day is just dawning. dawn原來也可以用作動詞。意為”開始;破曉,天亮“如:The morning dawn fresh and clear after the storm.
The next day dawn somber and gloomy
4,”濕灰灰的云下是蘇格蘭中部荒莽的林木,林外是隱隱的青山”譯為In Central Scotland, there lies under the gray wet clouds a wild wooded region, beyond which a green mountain stands faintly visible.這兩個分句出現(xiàn)兩個主語,修飾成分較多,乍看比較混亂,但略作分析便可明了“樹林“是核心詞,應(yīng)做主語;”濕灰灰的云下“”蘇格蘭中部“作狀語,分別譯為In Central Scotland和under the gray wet clouds,分置于句首和句中;”林外是隱隱的青山“譯為定從,后置,即beyond which a green mountain stands faintly visible。
5,厚達(dá)尺許(即一尺左右)= one foot on thickness
曉寒襲人(即早上的空氣很冷)= In the chilly air of the early morning
6,“走下回旋長梯像走下古堡之腸“用as或like直接翻譯略顯冗雜,譯者直接將”古堡之腸“轉(zhuǎn)譯為”回旋長梯“的同位語,精簡了句式,也傳達(dá)了原文的意思。
7,“野徑“一般意為”人跡稀少的小路“或”冷清的小路“,譯為an unfrequented path。
“尋幽“即”尋找寧靜的美景“譯為in search of secluded places of quiet beauty。

綜述
本段要注意“曉寒襲人,我坐在厚達(dá)尺許的石墻里,穿了一件毛衣“很容易譯為散句,譯者譯為In the chilly air of the early morning, I have to be dressed in a woolen sweater while sitting on a stone wall one foot on thickness.避免了這點。

從臺灣的定義講來,西歐幾乎沒有夏天。晝蟬夜蛙,汗流浹背,是臺灣的夏天。在西歐的大城,例如巴黎和倫敦,7月中旬走在陽光下,只覺得溫曖舒適,并不出汗。西歐的旅館和汽車,例皆不備冷氣,因為就算天熱,也是幾天就過去了,值不得為避暑費事。我在西班牙、法國、英國等地租車長途旅行,其車均無冷氣,只能扇風(fēng)。
By Taiwan standards, Western Europe has practically no summer at all. Summer in Taiwan is characterized by man’s copious perspiration as well as daytime chirping of cicadas and nighty croaking of frogs while in big European cities, like Paris and London, the mid-July temperature is so moderate and comfortable that none sweat even in the sun. Hotels and cars in Western Europe are usually not air-conditioned because hot days are so few that people don’t bother about having a cooler. The cars I hired for long-distance driving in Spain, France and England had fans, but no air-conditioning.

要點
1,“從臺灣的定義講來“即”以臺灣的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)“譯為By Taiwan standards。
2,“汗流浹背“= copious perspiration(大量的汗珠)
3,” 晝蟬夜蛙”意即“白天能聽到蟬叫,晚上能聽到蛙鳴“此處譯者為了句式一致,將其名詞化譯為“白天的蟬鳴和夜里的蛙鳴“= daytime chirping(啁啾聲)of cicadas and nightly croaking(哇哇聲) of frogs,使得句式更加簡潔,此外擬聲詞的運用也為譯文增色不少。
4,“只覺得溫曖舒適,并不出汗“因果關(guān)系。
5,“例皆不備冷氣“意為”都沒裝空調(diào)“,故譯為are usually not air-conditioned,其中”沒裝空調(diào)“譯者靈活滴將”裝空調(diào)“轉(zhuǎn)為be done的形式,后面又出現(xiàn)的” 均無冷氣“譯為no air-conditioning,這里的air-conditioning作名詞”空調(diào)系統(tǒng)“或”空調(diào)設(shè)備“講。

綜述:注意第五點省去動詞的譯法。

巴黎的所謂夏天,像是臺北的深夜,早晚上街,涼風(fēng)襲肘,一件毛衣還不足御寒。如果你走塞納河邊,風(fēng)力加上水氣,更需要一件風(fēng)衣才行。下午日暖,單衣便夠,可是一走到樓影或樹陰里,便嫌單衣太薄。地面如此,地下卻又不同。巴黎的地車比紐約、倫敦、馬德里的都好,卻相當(dāng)悶熱,令人穿不住毛衣。所以地上地下,穿穿脫脫,也頗麻煩。
The climate of Paris in summer is like that of Taipei at night. When you go out on an early morning or late evening, your woolen sweater will be hardly warm enough to keep out the nip in the air. When you walk along the Seine, where it is even chillier due to the strong wind coupled with the cold waters, you have to wear a windcheater. Then, all you need is just an unlined garment in the afternoon when it is warm, but you’ll feel like putting on more when you are under the shade of buildings or trees. That’s all for things aboveground. Now things underground. The subway of Paris is better than that of New York, London or Madrid, but it is so hot and stuffy that you feel like taking off your woolen sweater. Consequently you’ll be annoyed by having to don or doff your clothes now and then, depending on whether you’re aboveground or underground.

要點
1,“如果你走塞納河邊,風(fēng)力加上水氣,更需要一件風(fēng)衣才行?!弊g為When you walk along the Seine, where it is even chillier due to the strong wind coupled with the cold waters, you have to wear a windcheater.其中“風(fēng)力加上水氣”是“塞納河邊的”狀態(tài),因此用where引導(dǎo)的從句修飾,而“更需要穿”根據(jù)意思轉(zhuǎn)為“不得不穿”來翻譯,也算是貼合原文意思。
2,then承上啟下,無實際意思
3,“地面如此,地下卻又不同?!弊g為That’s all for things aboveground. Now things underground.意同… is one thing and…is another。
4,“嫌單衣太薄”和“令人穿不住毛衣”,分別譯為you’ll feel like putting on more,和you feel like taking off your woolen sweater, “嫌太薄”即“想多穿”,“穿不住”即“想脫掉”,這兩個詞都不好翻,但譯者抓住其本質(zhì)含義,以一個feel like準(zhǔn)確地表達(dá)了原文的意思。
5,“所以地上地下,穿穿脫脫,也頗麻煩。”譯為Consequently you’ll be annoyed by having to don or doff your clothes now and then, depending on whether you’re aboveground or underground.其中now and then和depending on whether you’re aboveground or underground都是為了充分表達(dá)原文意思而增益的部分而增益的部分。

綜述:注意本段的合譯,本篇文章的特色就在于合譯和四字詞的翻譯。